A “High English” Guaranty.
A thrifty German truck farmer once called the writer to examine a newly bought work horse and to give him “a line” so that he would be able to get his money back from the dealer, the animal having proved unsound. “I have me a written guaranty and a witness that he been all right,” said he, “and now you help me oudt mit a line.” An examination showed that the horse was terribly afflicted with heaves, accompanied with coughing and passing of gas. He heaved so hard that his entire body shook, and the squeaking of the breathing apparatus was easily heard. Evidently the horse had been skilfully “shut” or doped by the seller, and now that the effects of the treatment had passed off the unsoundness showed up plainly. Asked for his “guaranty,” the farmer kept iterating and reiterating his statement that it was all right and duly witnessed. At last he produced it, and it read to this effect, “This horse is hereby guaranteed free from all encumbrances.”
“Do you know what ‘encumbrances’ means?” he was asked, and the answer was, “No, I don’t know such high English words, but I guess it means sound and all righdt in wint and limb, and to work, aind’t it?”
He got his “line,” and by paying $80 to boot brought back another horse with a less comprehensive but more satisfactory guaranty.
Moral: It is best to understand “high English” and the language and ways of the dealer when buying a horse at the yards, so that a written guaranty may really protect the buyer.