III.
Clad in a dressing-gown, Mr. Marrapit was standing against the fireplace. My trembling Mary settled just clear of the closing door; took his gaze. He put his eye upon her face; slowly travelled it down her person; rested it upon her little shoes; again brought it up; again carried it down; this time left it at her feet.
The gaze seemed to burn her stockings. She shuffled; little squirms of fright nudged her. She glanced at her feet, fearful of some hideous hole in her shoes.
“I am—” she jerked.
Then Mr. Marrapit spoke: “I see you are. Discontinue.”
The command was shot at her. Trembling against the shock she could only murmur: “Discontinue?”
“Assuredly. Discontinue. Refrain. Adjust.”
“Discontinue...?” With difficulty she articulated the word, then put after it on a little squeak: “... What?”
“It,” rapped Mr. Marrapit.
“I am afraid—”
“I quake in terror.”
“I don't understand.”
“Pah!” Mr. Marrapit exclaimed. “You said 'I am.' Were you not about to say 'I am standing on the polished boards'?”
“No.”
“I believed that was in your mind. Let it now enter your mind. You are on the polished boards. You have high heels. I quake in terror lest they have left scratch or blemish. Adjust your position.”
Mary stepped to the carpet. She was dumb before this man.
Mr. Marrapit bent above the polished flooring where she had stood. “There is no scratch,” he announced, “neither is there any blemish.” He resumed his post against the fireplace and again regarded her: “You are young.”
“I am older really.”
“Elucidate that.”
“I mean—I am not inexperienced.”
“Why say one thing and mean another? Beware the habit. It is perilous.”
“Indeed it is not my habit.”
“It is your recreation, then. Do not indulge it. Continue.”
“I am young, but I have had experience. I think if you were to engage me I would give you satisfaction.”
“Adduce grounds.”
“I would try in every way to do as you required. I understand I am to look after cats.”
“Where?”
“Here.”
“Abandon that impression. I have not said so.”
“No, I mean if you engage me.”
“Again you say one thing and mean another. I am suspicious. It is a habit.”
“Oh, indeed it is not.”
“Then if a recreation, a recreation to which you are devoted. You romp in it. Twice within a minute you have gambolled.”
My Mary blinked tears. Since rising that morning, her nerves had been upon the stretch against this interview. She had schooled herself against all possibilities so as to win into the house of her dear George, yet at every moment she seemed to fall further from success.
“You ca-catch me up so,” she trembled.
Mr. Marrapit expanded upwards. “Catch you up! A horrible accusation. The table is between us.”
“You mis-misunderstand me.” She silenced a little sniff with a dab of her handkerchief. She looked very pretty. Mr. Marrapit placed beside her the mental image of Mrs. Major; and at every point she had the prize. He liked the soft gold hair; he liked the forlorn little face it enframed; he liked the slim little form. His cats, he suspected, would appreciate those nice little hands; he judged her to have nice firm legs against which his cats could rub. Mrs. Major's, he apprehended, would have been bony; not legs, but shanks.
Mary made another dab at her now red little nose. The silence increased her silly fright. “You mis-misunderstand me,” she repeated.
With less asperity Mr. Marrapit told her: “I cannot accept the blame. You wrap your meanings. I plunge and grope after them. Eluding me, I am compelled to believe them wilfully thrown. Strive to let your yea be yea and your nay nay. With circumspection proceed.”
Mary gathered her emotion with a final little sniff. “I like ca-cats.”
“I implore you not to accuse me of misunderstanding you. A question is essential. You do not always pronounce 'cats' in two syllables?”
“Oh, no.”
“Satisfactory. You said 'ca-cats.' Doubtless under stress of emotion. Proceed.”
Mary sniffed; proceeded. “I like ca-cats—cats. If you were to engage me I am sure your cats would take to me.”
“I admit the possibility. I like your appearance. I like your voice. Had you knowledge of the acute supersensitiveness of my cats you would understand that they will appreciate those points. I do not require in you veterinary knowledge; I require sympathetic traits. I do not engage you to nurse my cats—though, should mischance befall, that would come within your duties,—but to be their companion, their friend. You are a lady; themselves ancestral they will appreciate that. I understand you are an orphan; there also a bond links you with them. All cats are orphans. It is the sole unfortunate trait of their characters that they are prone to forget their offspring. In so far as it is possible to correct this failing amongst my own cats, I have done my best. Amongst them the sanctity of the marriage tie is strictly observed. The word stud is peculiarly abhorrent to me. Polygamy is odious. There is a final point. Pray seat yourself.”
Mary took a chair. Mr. Marrapit, standing before her, gazed down upon her. From her left he gazed, then from her right. He returned to the fireplace.
“It is satisfactory,” he said. “You have a nice lap. That is of first importance. The question of wages has been settled. Arrive to-morrow. You are engaged.”