SHOPPING.—A DIALOGUE FOR THE VERY LITTLE ONES.
CHARACTERS.
| Clerk. | Old Lady. | Mrs. Highfly. |
| Annie. | Celia. | Mr. Jones. |
Scene.—A shop. Tables are placed at one end of the stage to represent counters. Upon these are displayed toys, confectionery, boxes, or any thing which will indicate a shop. Advertisements of patent medicines and of other things might be hung up. White pebbles may pass for sugar-plums. Sticks whittled out and colored will do for sticks of candy. A little boy of seven or eight may be dressed up to represent a smart clerk or storekeeper (with a pen behind his ear). The other actors should be younger. Celia and Annie, two very little girls, enter at one end of the stage.
Celia. O Annie! did your mother give you a cent?
Annie. Yes. See! (Holds it out.)
Celia. Want me to go with you to spend it?
Annie. Yes, come. There’s the shop.
Celia. Will you let me taste?
Annie. If you won’t taste very big.
Celia. I will only take just a little teenty teenty mite. (They cross over.)
Annie. Here’s the shop.
Clerk. Well, my little girls, what will you have?
Celia. She wants to spend her cent.
Clerk. That’s right. This is the place.
Annie. I want a stick of candy.
Clerk. Red candy?
Annie. No, sir. Mamma says white candy is best for little girls.
(Clerk wraps stick of candy in paper, and takes the cent. Little girls walk away, hand in hand. Annie lets Celia taste. Celia and Annie go out.)
(Enter Mrs. Highfly, fashionably dressed, with trail, veil, waterfall, reticule, parasol, &c.)
Clerk (with polite bow). Good-morning, Mrs. Highfly.
Mrs. Highfly. Have you any canary-seeds? I wish to get some for my bird.
Clerk. We have all kinds of flower-seeds, ma’am.
Mrs. Highfly. Those won’t do. Have you nice prunes?
Clerk. We don’t keep prunes. We have some very nice squashes, ma’am. (Takes long-necked squash from behind the counter.)
Mrs. Highfly. What do you ask?
Clerk. Six cents a pound.
Mrs. Highfly. I’ll take half a one. My family is quite small.
Clerk. Can’t cut it, ma’am. It sells by wholesale.
Mrs. Highfly. I’ll try some other store.
[Exit Mrs. Highfly in displeasure.
(Enter nice Old Lady, dressed in black; white cap-frill shows under her bonnet: she carries a work-bag, and wears spectacles (without glasses); makes a little courtesy.)
Old Lady. Good-morning, sir. I’ve come to town, and I want to buy some sugar-plums for my grandchildren.
Clerk. Large or small kind?
Old Lady. Which are the best?
Clerk. Large ones are better for large children, and small for the small ones.
Old Lady (counts her fingers). Let me see. There’s Sarah Emeline and Polly and Jemima and John Alexander and Hiram,—five. I’ll take five cents’ worth, mixed. (Takes out from her bag five old-fashioned cents.)
Clerk. Yes’m. (Attempting to wrap them in paper, Old Lady watching him.) ’Twill come to just five cents.
Old Lady (opening bag). Drop them right in here. (Clerk drops them in.)
[Exit Old Lady.
(Enter Mr. Jones with tall hat, overcoat or dress-coat, cane, stand-up dicky, &c.)
Clerk. Good-morning, sir. Wish to trade to-day?
Mr. Jones. I wish to buy some toys for my children.
Clerk. How old are your children?
Mr. Jones. All ages.
Clerk. Would you like a whip, sir? (Shows one, snapping it.)
Mr. Jones. Well, a whip isn’t a very good thing to have in the house.
Clerk. Would you buy a ball? These will every one bounce. (Shows various kinds.)
Mr. Jones. No, sir. I’m about tired of setting glass.
Clerk. These are warranted not to break windows. But here’s a trumpet. A trumpet is a very pleasing toy. (Shows one, blowing it.)
Mr. Jones (with a wave of the hand). Don’t show me any thing that will make a noise.
Clerk. How would a hoop suit you? (Showing one.)
Mr. Jones. I couldn’t think of spending money for hoops. A barrel-hoop drives just as well.
Clerk. Have they got marbles?
Mr. Jones. Yes, plenty. My Sammy got one in his throat, and came very near being choked.
Clerk. Try a jumping-jack. (Holds one up, pulling the string.)
Mr. Jones. Oh! they’d soon break the string.
Clerk. How would a knife please them? (Shows one.)
Mr. Jones. Well enough. But they’d be sure to lose it, or cut themselves. Jemmy’s got six fingers tied up now.
Clerk. Are they supplied with boats? (Showing one.)
Mr. Jones. I never let my children sail boats, for fear of their being drowned.
Clerk. How is it about a kite?
Mr. Jones. Kites are likely to blow away.
Clerk. Perhaps you’d like something useful.
Mr. Jones. My children don’t like useful things.
Clerk. Here’s a good hatchet. (Shows hatchet.)
Mr. Jones. They’d hack my fruit-trees.
Clerk. A hammer?
Mr. Jones. Nails would be driven in everywhere.
Clerk. Buy a doll for your little girl. (Shows doll.)
Mr. Jones. She has a houseful now.
Clerk. A silver thimble?
Mr. Jones. A pewter one does as well to lose.
Clerk. You are a hard customer, sir.
Mr. Jones. Not at all. Your wares don’t suit me.
Clerk. We expect a new lot of toys in soon.
Mr. Jones (going). I’ll call again. Good-morning.
Clerk. Good-day, sir.
[Exit Mr. Jones.
Note.—If the part of the clerk is too long for one small boy to remember, another one dressed as the storekeeper, with gray whiskers and wig (made of curled hair), might come in and take his place when Mr. Jones enters. In this case the clerk should sit down and look over his account-books, and appear to write. If the conversation with Mr. Jones is too long, part of it may be omitted; and, if the articles mentioned are not at hand, others may be substituted.