Klytia: A Story of Heidelberg Castle

by Adolf Hausrath

CHAPTER VIII.

"In truth I shall have to end up by going to the Hirsch if I wish to see that brother of mine," thought Master Felix, after he had waited the whole of another day expecting that his brother would come up to the Castle. So he set his chisel and apron aside and went down to the Market-place, and from thence entered through the well-known door of the hotel into the back-room, in which the clergy of Heidelberg were wont to meet round a large oaken table. He found the room still empty; the low, arched parlor was only lighted by a single lamp, and at the table sat a stout gray-headed man dressed in black, with a vinous countenance and a bottle nose. "God's word from the country," thought Felix, taking his seat after a profound bow near to the Parson, whom he thought he had already seen somewhere.

"Have you managed to finish this measure by yourself, reverend Sir?" he asked of the complacent toper.

"Man is a weak and timorous creature," answered the Blackgown sanctimoniously, "at first I thought not to be able to master it by myself, but now through God's help I am about to order a second."

"Without his divine aid you will be scarcely able to recognize your front door," said the artist laughing.

"What do you know about that?" rejoined the Parson with a severe look. "He whom a merciful Deity has blest with the capacity of carrying his four measures of Bergstrasser, is ungrateful to his Maker when he only drinks three." Saying this he clapped the tin cover of his stone measure in an audible manner and a hoarse voice answered from a neighbouring room: "Coming, Your Reverence, coming." And forthwith a jolly looking little figure with a big red head appeared and took away the Parson's jug.

"And to you, Sir Italiano, shall I bring once more a bucket of water and a thimbleful of wine?" asked the small man, who knew Felix from his former sojourn at the Hirsch.

"As usual, Klaus," answered Felix laughing, whereupon a small glass of wine and a bottle of water were set before him.

When Felix had looked more attentively at his neighbor, and then cast a glance at the quaint looking waiter, he felt positive, that he had seen the two together somewhere within a few days. "Was it not Klaus, that I saw in your company lately in the ante-chamber of the new hall?" asked he of the Parson. Mr. Adam Neuser, for he was the quiet soaker, pulled down his mouth, as if his red wine tasted of the cork. "Formerly he was court-fool," he said. "But the new-fangled pietists have abolished the office. The foreign court parsons prefer making a fool of our gracious sovereign. They would not even grant him a pension; at that he wished to complain to the Kurfürst in person. All of no avail. Who knows, perhaps, I shall come down to being waiter at the Hirsch, if I do not wish to starve." And he grimly poured a beaker of red wine down his throat.

"Hallo, Neuser, how does the early rising agree with you?" said a deep voice belonging to a portly looking cleric who now entered the room. "It was a first-rate idea of our mutual friend Olevianus, to punish you by appointing you to conduct morning prayer, ha, ha, ha."

"I have scored him down for that, Inspector," rejoined the ruddy faced Neuser, "and I think the time is coming when we shall drive the Trevians, Silesians and French out of South Germany, where they have no business."

"You forget the Italians," inserted Felix laughing.

"No one has up to the present had to complain of your brother," here put in Parson Willing, who had entered the room together with Inspector Sylvan, a slight fair man with interesting but unclerical features, who looked as if he willingly played chess, but unwillingly preached the Gospel. "Magister Laurenzano acts in a modest manner, as befits a foreigner, he is a pleasant companion, and he does not love Calvinists any better than we do, therefore may he play secretly at popery. Ten Bishops would never have plagued us as does this one Olevianus."

"Yea verily," continued here Neuser, "I speak of him and of all the starvelings who have tumbled down on our fair Palatinate like a sow on a bag of oats, and are now so full of grub that nothing is good enough for them. Do you know, what that Silesian Ursinus lately wrote in a report to the Kurfürst, when His Grace stopped at Amberg? 'To answer in a few words,' he wrote, 'it is my belief as a Christian that there are not six competent clergymen in the whole of the Palatinate.' Those were his own words. May the Königstuhl and Heiligenberg fall on his proud, Silesian pate, if we are not christian enough for him."

"Then must cursing be a part of Christianity," murmured the waiter, angry with the Parson, who in order to lay more emphasis on his concluding words, came down so heavily with his fist on the table that the glasses jumped and part of the contents of his beaker ran over.

"Ho, ho, do not be so peppery, beloved Colleague," here piped in a squeaky voice a fat little man, who funnily resembled a dressed out porpoise, and who was introduced to Felix as Parson Suter of Feudenheim. He added politely taking his seat next to Inspector Sylvan:

"Under the protection of my Inspector the Lützelsachsener tastes like Ingelheimer. But is not the way in which our Adam is treated, shameful," he continued clapping Neuser on the back, "a man, without whom the Hirsch could not exist."

"And who has the largest congregation in Heidelberg," snarled out Klaus.

"How the largest congregation?" asked the Inspector.

"Yes, of all who do not go to Church." The others laughed, Neuser however cast an angry look at the Fool. "Go to thy barrel, thou wine-spigot."

"He who fiddles the truth, catches it over the head with the bow," rejoined Klaus in leaving, while the room re-echoed with the laughter of the clerics at the anger of their already somewhat intoxicated colleague. By this time the pale face of Master Laurenzano appeared from out of the background, who held out to his brother with much grace his small white hand whilst he with a polite bow asked Neuser, the martyr of the hour, as to the state of his health. "I am well," said the fat gentleman spitefully, "and hope the reverend Father is the same." Paul paid no attention to the allusion but took his seat between the Inspector and his brother. He must however have overheard part of the discussion, for he said to Sylvan with a friendly smile: "Your Colleagues let me know pretty well every evening, that they do not like the presence of foreigners, and that they will not have in their country either Calvinists, Lutherans, or Papists. But whom do they then wish? A man must, so it seems to me, be a Heidelberger and drink a quantity of beer and wine, otherwise he will never be a good cleric in their eyes."

The stately Inspector shook his head. "I am myself not a native of the Palatinate, and yet no one has ever told me, that I was in his way."

The Jesuit looked over his man. "You are a Bavarian, Sir?"

"No, I am from Tyrol, and was a Papist and moreover a zealous one."

"May one ask what damped that zeal?" said Paul with curiosity.

"Why not?" said Sylvan. "The story is not pretty, but it is interesting for people like you, and cannot hurt me to relate, for it took place a long time ago. I come from Trieste, and was educated by Abbot Altherr in Innsbruck, and after being consecrated was sent as Chaplain in the neigbourhood of Salzburg, to aid an aged Priest who found his duties too much for him. Thus I came out of the Seminary into the world, with my head full of plans for the improvement and reformation of men. I got on very well with my fat old Colleague. He lived with his housekeeper, and every afternoon went to Salzburg to drink the good Strohwein at St. Peter's. That just suited me, as I then had the management of the parish to myself. I carried my wisdom up and down the mountains, preached the Gospel to the peasants till I perceived that they made fun of me, and that their favorite Priest was he who kept most out of their way. Feeling sore I concluded that if the peasants would not hear me I would sit down in the library of the parsonage and set the world on fire through some learned work. Whether I should write on the archangels or the church-tithes would entirely depend on the books I might find there to hand. But heaven only knows what the patristic writings were that I found there. Amadis of Gaul, Erasmus and Hutten, the works of Boccaccio and Sannazar, the Epigrams of Poggio, and the novels of Rabelais. It became suddenly clear to me why this good Priest required so much Strohwein to stupefy him. The love stories which I read, did me much mischief, but I soon cast them away from me; my zeal was awakened and I determined to do away with the scandal. One afternoon that the Priest had gone out, and that the housekeeper was visiting her nephews and nieces, I packed up the entire library of the Antichrist and carried them into the court. I had soon piled up the filthy works and rejoiced to see how well they burnt up. But in my ardour I had not remembered that at this very season the Föhn blew strongly. How could a young Saint only twenty years of age think of such a trifle, when the cause of God was in question. The burning paper went flying about the court and before I knew the shingles of the pig-sty were on fire. I run for water, pile dung on the burning sty, and whilst I am sweating and puffing, I suddenly notice that the flying bits of paper have set the shingle-roof of the parsonage on fire. I at once run to the Church and toll the alarm bell. People hasten from all sides. I would answer no question, see nothing, hear nothing. But whilst tolling I see how the Church itself is filling with smoke; it is evident that the roof is on fire, I toll all the more till at last the bell itself lies at my feet. It was time for me to step outside. Holy Florianus, when I look around me I see the whole place in flames! The wind carried the burning straw from roof to roof. I did not wait to receive from the peasants the reward of my pious efforts, but cut a stick and left the place as hard as my legs could carry me. Of an evening, I curled myself up in a cornfield and went fast asleep. Thus I at last reached Innsbruck where lived my Abbot. I confessed all to him. 'Thou wert zealous but foolishly,' said he, 'thy stay in Tyrol is no longer possible.' Thus I was obliged to come down from my mountains towards the empire, and could choose any of the sixteen corners from which the wind blows over the plain of Munich. It now became necessary to repress myself and to cringe, and I soon entirely lost the art of rooting the sins of others out by fire. When finally I reached France, my zeal had vanished. Bishop Zobel of Würzburg thought however that I was a thorough Tyrolean and knew how to behave myself, he therefore appointed me Canon and Court Preacher. If there was no Strohwein there was at least Steinwein. I found my Theresa and right or wrong as it might please God we lived together. But finally I thought the whole thing bad and asked in the Palatinate whether I could find employment, as Theresa was always dinning in my ears that I should marry her, and I felt I should like to have my children about me. Thus it was I came to Ladenburg. Instead of heavy Steinwein I now drink Lützelsachsener. The wine is not tasty, but only a small disrelish has to be overcome, and it is healthier. In short Inspector Sylvan is a happier man than the Canon of Würzburg ever was. That is my story, young man, and I think you will find something to copy therein."

"I thank you, Sir," said Paul smiling, "you may be certain that I shall not set your Heidelberg on fire. It catches fire without my aid once in every four weeks."

"Room for Chancellor Probus and the Church Counsellor," cried out Neuser eagerly, as Erast came in accompanied by a stoutly built portly man, who leaning on his sword sat down at the clerical table. The rows became closer and closer, and the young daughter of the court fool, a fresh country lass from the Palatinate, gayly attended to their wants. She appeared however not to notice Master Laurenzano. He sat there without being waited on till the host himself brought him a measure of wine.

"Who is the rough looking man with the huge forehead?" asked the artist. "I mean the individual who so quickly swallows down one beaker after another, and whose every remark calls out a shout of applause from those in his immediate neighbourhood."

"That is Xylander, our celebrated philologist."

"Hem," murmured Felix, "our great humanists look a little different. And the haggard looking man, who behaves in so condescending a manner, as if he feared to tread unawares upon us poor worms with his leonine paws?"

"Be quiet," whispered Paul, "that is the renowned Pithopöus, the great Aristotelean of Deventer."

"He may be stolen from me for aught I care," calmly replied Felix.

"The gentlemen may prepare themselves for severe trials," now began Chancellor Probus raising his voice to call attention. "The introduction of the Genevese Church discipline is almost a foregone conclusion. Presbyteries are to be formed which together with the ministry will carry out the Church excommunication. To sweep before strange doors will now be a profitable occupation. 'The office of the elders,' say Calvin's ordinances, 'consists in watching the life of others.' The quarters of the town will be divided among the elders, who will have to inspect the different houses and verify whether the fathers and the mothers have thoroughly studied the new Catechism, whether the family lives in peace, whether the husband gets drunk, or the wife rails at her neighbors, whether every one goes to Church and Communion, whether dice or cards are in the house, and whether the daughters dance round dances. The Parsons themselves will see to the reform of those denounced. In a word the observance of public order passes from the hands of the officials to those of the clerics."

"That will cause some trouble, as the sparrow said, when called upon to lay a goose's egg," called out a shrill but somewhat husky voice.

The Chancellor wrinkled his brow. "Aha, our Klaus falls again into his rôle of fool," said the Inspector apologetically.

"He is not so wrong. Children and fools speak the truth," now spake out Erast, rubbing with his yellow wash-leather glove the lame arm which was paining him. "The clergy will not be strong enough to keep public order. The authorities will be there, but still under the orders of the Theologians. If the Magistrate Hartmann Hartmanni can preserve order by Olevianus' directions, I cannot see why he should not have been able to do so before. For one thing is certain, that the riotous living now carried on in Heidelberg can no longer be tolerated, the noise in the streets till late at night, that everlasting firing, music, and rioting. This the Magistrate could put a stop to without the clergy, were he not himself a gallivanter, and in every respect a boon companion, not to mention also, that he considers himself to be quite a humanist, and makes verses instead of sitting in the Court house."

"Verily a little discipline is necessary in Heidelberg," said Probus confirmingly, "and now punishment follows after its neglect."

The clerical gentlemen returned no answer but looked rather confused. An angel, or even two angels had time to pass through the room, before that the Philosopher Pithopöus helped these gentlemen to give expression to their thoughts, by jokingly remarking. "Then shall we not see our spiritual friends any more in the Hirsch, for if the Theologians must break the members of their flocks of the habit of sitting in taverns, they themselves must set the example."

"Thus, Herr Neuser, the whole advantage of an early morning service is lost to you, and all these nice free hours from eight o'clock on," added Xylander with an amused glance from under his eyebrows.

"If Olevianus' propositions take effect," said the Chancellor Probus, "you yourself will also be spared that trouble, Professor. The taverns will be closed, and in their place we shall have monasteries in which the unmarried citizens will be allowed to meet together of an evening under the supervision of Olevianus, Ursinus, or Zanchi. None will receive anything to eat or drink, till he has said 'Grace,' or as the Gospel has it, prayed in the corners, A resolution of the Presbyterium fixes the number of glasses."

A general groan of disapproval followed this incredible statement.

"You are joking, Sir Chancellor," said Parson Suter with a puzzled look.

"How," rejoined Probus, "have you not read the Geneva ordinances, which prescribe what the Genevese are allowed to eat and drink? Did not Calvin forbid them to eat the dried fruits of the South, did he not also refuse to allow the poorer classes to feast on baked meats, venison, or game? Did he not make it a law, that no Genevese should invite more than ten persons to dinner? Did he not order that none dare wear velvet, silk, or garments of a red color, although Geneva possesses the largest dye-works and velvet manufactures? If the Presbyterium can determine that Hans cannot tie the nosegay for Gretchen with costly ribbons or gold threads, as decreed by the Geneva ordinances, why shall it not cast a fatherly eye on the number of glasses, swallowed down every evening by Parson Neuser? Should that thirsty gentleman exceed the number limited, he must beg pardon of the congregation in the Church on bended knee."

"Then is it well to drink another beaker today," squeaked out Parson Suter in his thin voice, "here Klaus!"

"I was in Geneva," now began Parson Willing, with a diplomatic smile, while his cunning eyes winked slyly at the Chancellor. "I know from experience how things are managed. If a man lives too well, he is punished by flagellation and pillory. In my time a baker was imprisoned, for not eating meat on Fridays, as Master Calvin smelt Kryptopapism therein. A bereaved widow was even brought up before the Consistorium for having used the words over the grave of her husband 'requiescat in pace.' That young women should be flogged because their way of dressing the hair and the cut of their clothes was not pleasing to Calvin, is easily understood, but he also imprisoned the dressmaker, who made the clothes, and the friends who helped to dress them. It will be a nice time for Heidelberg, when the consumptive butter-colored faces, which Ursinus and Zanchi have called together, stick their noses in every pot. I remember right well, how in Geneva they ordered me to repeat the Catechism like a school-boy, looked over my books, sent elderly gentlemen and worthy women to the head of the hospital to learn to pray, and made us attend for a whole year the Sunday-school, so that we might obtain proper notions on the matter of praedestination."

A pause testified to the impression produced by the remarks of the experienced Parson. "Even Sunday-walks," continued he, "picnics, bowling, singing and dancing must the inhabitants of the Palatinate banish from their minds, for those lead to Church excommunication, and excommunication means imprisonment and banishment."

"The foreign gentlemen need not banish me," said Neuser angrily, "for I am about to leave of my own accord."

"Where will you go then?" rejoined Xylander. "To the Hugenots, there will you have to rise even earlier, as they have early service before sun-rise. To the Saxons? Think of their wretched beer, and the doctrine of Ubiquity. To the Hanseatic towns? With Hesshufen and Westphal you jump from the frying pan into the fire. Easier is it to throw thirteen spots with a pair of dice than find a Church, which respects your freedom. It is of no avail, brother, you must submit."

"I know of a place, and the Inspector and my friend Suter know it also. We shall soon have followers, if the foreigners have it here their own way. We quit."

"Klaus will also be of your company?" laughed Xylander.

"Klaus will become a Turk," put in the waiter, "there a man has but one God and three wives. That is better than the reverse way."

"Peace, blasphemer," said Probus.

"It is only a matter of essay, which is better, to be a Turk or a Palatine under Olevianus and Frederic the Pious," murmured Neuser.

"Our stout Neuser is a man capable of bartering three Heavenly Fathers and twelve Apostles for a cask of Deidesheimer," said Xylander mockingly, "but only remember that in Turkey wine is not allowed, the Prophet had a weak stomach."

The Chancellor arose, the conversation was becoming too frivolous, and he had attained his end in arousing a feeling against the Church Council. Erast and the Professors also withdrew after a short time, followed at last by Parson Willing.

The two brothers still kept their seats at the table with the clergy, who openly showed that they wished for their departure. Sylvan went even so far at to ask the artist if he did not feel like accompanying his brother to the Stift by such a beauteous moonlight, but in vain, it seemed as if Paul was bent on sitting out the others. He ordered a fresh supply from Klaus, and Felix delighted at finding himself once more with his brother, willingly joined him.

The Inspector at last got up and took another seat at the further end of the table away from Paul and Felix, where he was eagerly surrounded by Suter, Neuser, and a third Parson, whom they called Vehe, deacon of Lauter. The stately Sylvan seated between the wine-soaked Neuser, the porpoiselike Suter, and the coarse Vehe whose face seemed to consist entirely of underjaw, resembled Orpheus among the beasts. Whilst Paul was entertaining his brother with an account of his position, the Inspector brought out certain letters, and said to the other in a suppressed tone: "I went over to Speyer. Herr Kaspar Beckhess, the Chancellor of the Woywode received me in the most friendly manner. It would be very pleasing to him, if ripe and experienced Theologians entered into the service of the Transylvanian Church. But he thinks, that his Unitarians would be rather distrustful, lest the incoming Germans should introduce as many troubles as have the Italians, Belgians, and French in the Palatinate. Therefore we must clearly and distinctly abjure the doctrine of the Trinity, before that Superintendent Davidis sanctions our reception."

"To abjure the doctrine of the Trinity is rather a strong measure," said Vehe.

"That depends on the custom of the country," rejoined Sylvanus in measured tones. "What is in fact really known concerning this matter? The relation of the three persons of the Godhead is very like the declension of the three persons in the Grammar, here we decline: sum, es, est, there they decline: sum, sus, sut, which may also be correct."

"But if the affair gets known, before we have taken leave of the Kurfürst," piped Suter out in his squeaky tones, "then is the round tower our certain abode."

"I thought you would be afraid," said Sylvan laughing, "and therefore I will snatch the chestnuts out of the fire for you. I have already written a protest against the doctrine of the Trinity. I will send this to the body-surgeon of the Woywode, Blandrata. I will add that you think as I do, and I hope Davidis will be satisfied with this. Here is the protest."

Vehe took the papers and read out the title: "Against the idolatry of the Trinity and the worship of the two-fold Nature." "That title is rather strong," said he, casting his wolfish eyes distrustfully in the direction of the Italian.

"The stronger the better," rejoined Sylvan. "The Ambassador of the Woywode, and our friends in Transylvania must be convinced, that we seriously mean going over, otherwise we shall never receive any suitable livings. I am leaving here, because I have been thrust to one side, and these Northgerman and French starvelings have been stuck under my nose. A beggarly parish in Transylvania will therefore not suit me. I am better off in Ladenburg; are you not also of my opinion, Neuser?"

The latter raised his wine-sodden head. "What, another Superintendent," said he, "who requires a covenant? Is the whole world filled with this breed that one cannot live even in Klausenburg as one likes. Klaus is right, rather under the Turks than under the Superintendents; I will to-day write a memorial to the Sultan Selim. I will be freed from these bloodsuckers. Shall I leave the Palatinate to let myself be knocked about in Klausenburg."

"Don't shout so loud," said Sylvan, yon Jesuit pretends to be busily conversing with his brother, but I see how he pricks up his ears. I know these gentry from my experience at Würzburg.

"Klaus," cried Parson Vehe in his coarse voice to the waiter, "why have asses such long ears?"

"Because their mothers did not put caps on their heads when they were young."

"A bad guess."

"So that they may better hear the sermons from the streets, since the Clergy forbid their entrance into the Church."

"That is better," said Vehe with a spiteful glance towards the Italian: "that they may overhear."

"Let us away from such a crowd," roared Neuser. "Nowhere now is a man at peace. Everywhere is listening, spying, ferreting out, denouncing, counting the drops in one's glass, I will be a free man."

"We are in the way here," said Felix to his brother, who apparently undisturbed by the conversation at the other side of the table, fixed his eyes on his brother's face, but none the less had kept his ears open to what had been said by the Parsons.

"Let them leave first," replied Paul in the Italian language, "it looks less remarkable." In fact the four parsons rose at the same moment and left the room in a noisy manner, without honoring the brothers with a bow.

"German politeness," laughed Paul.

"They are beasts," said the artist, "Could I but saw away the façade of the new building and send it off to Florence, I should consider it a good action;" washing down by a last swallow of water the bad impression made on him, he took his brother's arm and went out on the Market place, where the dark massive Church opposite stood out boldly in the quiet square now resplendent with the light of a clear moon. Felix made his way towards the Schloss, Paul towards the bridge. The young Priest saw naught of the metallic gleam of the moonlit river, naught of the mist, which rolled in fairylike play around the valley, he was full of the blasphemies, which he had heard, of the plans of the wicked Priests, who wished to swell the army of those who deny the holy Trinity. It seemed to him not improbable, that all the influential and important men, who that day had gathered round the table, were secret allies of the Arians, But with one blow would he destroy this nest of Satan, this was his inward vow, and if he had known but one sentiment of mercy, when the cause of God was in question, it would not have availed in this case, opposed to the thirst for revenge of the Neapolitan, who had apparently treated the vulgar insults of these coarse men with contempt, whilst in reality his heart was fired with the desire, to pay them back in his own peculiar coin. Sylvan especially, that handsome man vain as a peacock, was the principal object of his wrath, a man who had been granted the highest honors of the Catholic Church, and who to-day openly admitted the fundamental principle of all gregarious animals, ever to hasten thither where the best pasturage was to be found. As soon as Paul had reached his room, he drew up in a secret cypher a full report of what he had heard on this memorable evening. "Up to the present," thought Paul dipping his pen, "I have only slain small foxes and wild boars, who were desolating the vineyard of the Lord, to-day has a spotted royal stag, who breaks through the forest with spreading antlers, received an arrow in his heart." With a feeling of triumph did he lie down, to be in readiness to forward his letters the first thing in the morning from the town to Speyer.