PRAISE OF DRUNKENNESS
[ THE]
PREFACE.
If ever preface might serve for an apology, certainly this ought to do so. The bare title of the book is enough to have it universally cried down, and to give the world an ill opinion of its author; for people will not be backward to say, that he who writes the Praise of Drunkenness, must be a drunkard by profession; and who, by discoursing on such a subject, did nothing but what was in his own trade, and resolved not to move out of his own sphere, not unlike Baldwin, a shoe-maker’s son, (and a shoe-maker), in the days of yore, who published a treatise on the shoes of the ancients, having a firm resolution strictly to observe this precept, Ne sutor ultra crepidam.
To this I answer, I am very well contented, that the world should believe me as much a drunkard, as Erasmus, who wrote The Praise of Folly, was a fool, and weigh me in the same balance.
But some will say, what good can a man propose to himself in being a panegyrist for drunkenness? To solve this difficulty I shall make use of a comparison.
M. Pelisson, in his History of the French Academy, says, that Menage did not compose that famous Requete des Dictionaires, in which he ridicules all the academics, on account of any aversion he had to them, but purely to divert himself, and not to lose the witty turns that came into his head upon that subject. In the same manner, I declare that I did not undertake this work on account of any zeal I have for wine, you must think, but only to divert myself, and not to lose a great many curious remarks I have made upon this most catholic liquid.
It may farther be objected, that this work is so stuffed with quotations, that they hinder the book itself from being seen; like what I heard say of a country fellow, who complained when he left London, that he could not see it for the houses. As an excuse for all the others, I shall make use of one quotation more, and this I shall borrow from Mr. Bayle.[1] “There is no room to doubt,” says he, “but some readers will judge, that there are a little too many quotations in this work, which is no less a disorder, they will say, than what happens in some cities, where the strangers are more numerous than the citizens. But of what importance is it to travellers, that such disorder appears in any country, provided they find in it honest folks. There is no reason why reading may not be compared to travelling. We should therefore be very little concerned, whether, according to the ancient country frugality, we are entertained with what is of its proper growth; or if, instead of the flesh of domestic animals, and the fruits of our own vineyards and gardens, we are served with what comes from the market. That which really is of consequence is, that the meat be wholesome and well dressed, and the wine good, &c. Unde habeat quærat nemo, sufficit habere.”
As to the rest, I am very far from the sentiments of a certain writer, who having found in his book one fault only, consulted one of his friends, whether he should put down Errata or Erratum. For my part, I subscribe with all my heart to the Errata of Benserade, and in his words frankly own, that
Pour moy, parmi des fautes innombrables,
Je n’en connois que deux considerables,
Et dont je fais ma declaration,
C’est l’entreprise et l’execution,
A mon avis fautes irreparables,
En ce volume.
Though num’rous faults I see in this small book,
(And so may any one that will but look),
I know but two of much consideration,
Of which I here make public declaration,
The undertaking and the execution,
Faults too extravagant for absolution.
[1.] Pref. des Rep. aux Quest. d’un Pr. T. 1.
[CONTENTS.]
| Page. | |
| [CHAP. I.] That one must be Merry | 1 |
| [CHAP. II.] That Wine drives away Sorrow, and excites Mirth | 16 |
| [CHAP. III.] That it is good for one’s Health to get Drunk sometimes | 29 |
| [CHAP. IV.] That old People ought to get Drunk sometimes | 35 |
| [CHAP. V.] That Wine creates Wit | 38 |
| [CHAP. VI.] That Wine makes one Eloquent | 46 |
| [CHAP. VII.] That Wine acquires Friends, and reconciles Enemies | 49 |
| [CHAP. VIII.] That the Custom of getting Drunk is most ancient | 53 |
| [CHAP. IX.] That the Primitive Christians got Drunk | 57 |
| [CHAP. X.] Of Churchmen | 61 |
| [CHAP. XI.] Of Popes, Saints, and Bishops, that used to get Drunk | 67 |
| [CHAP. XII.] A Catalogue of some illustrious Topers | 73 |
| [CHAP. XIII.] Of Philosophers that used to get Drunk | 78 |
| [CHAP. XIV.] Of Poets that used to get Drunk | 85 |
| [CHAP. XV.] Of Free Masons, and other learned Men, that used to get Drunk | 88 |
| [CHAP. XVI.] Of Nations that used to get Drunk | 104 |
| [CHAP. XVII.] Of the Drunkenness of the Germans | 112 |
| [CHAP. XVIII.] Of Nations that get Drunk with certain Liquors | 121 |
| [CHAP. XIX.] Other Considerations in favour of Drunkenness | 126 |
| [CHAP. XX.] An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness causes infinite Evils | 130 |
| [CHAP. XXI.] An Answer to the Objection, That the Mirth which Wine inspires is chimerical | 133 |
| [CHAP. XXII.] An Answer to the Objection, That one loses one’s Reason in getting Drunk | 142 |
| [CHAP. XXIII.] An Answer to the Objection, That one cannot trust a Man that gets Drunk | 150 |
| [CHAP. XXIV.] An Answer to the Objection, That Drunkenness makes one incapable of performing the Duties of civil Life | 152 |
| [CHAP. XXV.] Burlesque, ridiculous, and out-of-the-Way-Thoughts against Drunkenness | 157 |
| [CHAP. XXVI.] A ridiculous Aversion that some have to Wine | 160 |
| [CHAP. XXVII.] Rigorous Laws against Wine and Drunkenness | 164 |
| [CHAP. XXVIII.] Rules to be observed in getting Drunk. I. Not too often. II. In good Company | 169 |
| [CHAP. XXIX.] Third Rule, With good Wine | 171 |
| [CHAP. XXX.] Fourth Rule, At convenient Times | 177 |
| [CHAP. XXXI.] Fifth Rule, To force no one to drink | 181 |
| [CHAP. XXXII.] Sixth Rule, Not to push Drunkenness too far | 184 |
| [ Postscript] | 193 |