§16
I wished to see once more the girl who had cheered me before and to press her hand as I had pressed it in the churchyard nine months earlier. At that interview I intended to part with the past and greet the future.
We did meet for a few minutes on April 9, 1835, the day before my departure into exile.
Long did I keep that day sacred in memory; it is one of the red-letter days of my life.
But why does the recollection of that day and all the bright and happy days of my past life recall so much that is terrible? I see a grave, a wreath of dark-red roses, two children whom I am leading by the hand, torch-light, a band of exiles, the moon, a warm sea beneath a mountain; I hear words spoken which I cannot understand, and yet they tear my heart.[[78]]
[78]. Herzen’s wife, Natalie, died at Nice in 1852 and was buried there under the circumstances here described.
All, all, has passed away!