BOOK IV.—TINY AND BABY GO HOME

So Tiny and Baby came back to That Country, and staid with the mothers, one hour with each mother: for that is one of the rules.

And when they were gone, each mother sat down all day in the table in the window in the sun, and wrote round: four sheets to everybody, four hundred sheets in all.

And Baby's mother chuckled, because she was so happy; and she thumped her envelope with her fist: but Tiny's mother cried, because she loved that best; and she smoothed hers with the flat of her hand.

Then Tiny went down the Tumbledown Hill to the Town, Baby on arm.

And the Town is an old ancient street with the Church on one side, and the Inn on the other, and the Policeman between; and that is all: for it is only a country town, although the capital of That Country.

And at the back of the Inn is the market with pens inside a wall.

And there the people come every Thursday to sell their things.

And when Tiny and Baby got there it was market-day.

So all the people were trying to sell their things to each other.

Only everybody wanted to sell, and nobody to buy; which is often the way.

So that made it rather difficult all round.

But when Tiny and Baby came in they stopped arguing, and began to stare instead.

And the Queen was there trying to sell a white moo-calf, because she said she wanted the money to buy her a bonnet.

THE QUEEN WAS THERE

So everybody came round and pinched the Queen's calf, though nobody bought it.

And when Tiny saw that he went and pinched it too very shrewdly, saying,

"Ha!" and "Hum!" with his hat a bit on one side: for Tiny didn't want to buy the Queen's calf himself, but he liked the Queen to think he did.

And the vet was there running up and down on a string a little rough, round pony that pattered, trying to sell it, because he said he'd outgrown it.

And when Baby saw how rough and round the pony was, and how it pattered, she clapped her hands and cried,

"Oh, the duck!" and asked the vet if she might run it up and down on the string a bit.

And when the vet, who was rather hot and panty, said,

"Suttinly, Miss," she ran it up and down till she could run no longer; and after that she went into a corner out of the crowd with the vet, and gasped,

"How much?"

So the vet whispered,

"I'll leave it to you, Miss, because it's to a good ome."

Then Baby turned her back, and gave him some out of her sixpenny purse.

And she christened the pony Puck, and led him away by the string.

And a little further on the Junior Subaltern's mother was trollying a little go-cart about with the King in his crown in it, to try to sell it, because she said her son didn't care for it any more.

And the King, now he'd had his ride, said, nor did he, and got down, and, after taking off his crown very courteously, bustled off to join in pinching the Queen's calf; which was rather depressing for the Junior Subaltern's mother after all her trouble.

But Baby came up with Puck, and kissed her to comfort her; and after that she bought the little go-cart out of her penny purse, which comforted the old lady still more.

Then Baby harnessed Puck to the go-cart, and tied him by his string to the wall, while she ran and got Tiny away from the Queen's calf.

And they went round the pens together, and chose out some things, and some servants.

And there were about four things, and three servants.

And one servant said her name was Phyllis; and she was plump and brisk: but the Others didn't seem to know what their names were; and they were dressy and draggly.

And really the Others didn't belong to That Country, but had got in by mistake from Abroad, one Bank Holiday.

And Baby only took them because they wanted a home: for you mayn't sleep out in That Country except in the summer, when you mayn't sleep in.

And people only have one servant in That Country, except at the Castle, where they have none: for there the Queen does it all.

Then they shoved the things under the seat of the little cart; and Tiny and Baby got up; and Baby cracked the whip; and Tiny tugged the reins; and Puck started off for Cosy Cottage at a run-away patter; while Phyllis walked and the Others trailed behind.

And when they got to the Common everything was exactly as they had left it, with Methuselah just nodding off to sleep under the thorn; and by the yew the Colonel standing with his shako off, and little Marwy on a string, visiting her mother's grave.

For it was about evening by now.

And they could see the Fort on the Hill in the sunset, and some of the Fellows playing pranky on the wall: while the Junior Subaltern was hiding behind a buttress, gulping the sponge-cake they swab out the great cannon with.

And the rooks were cawing home in the dusk; and the starlings whirred and chirred among the gorse; and old Goly rolled down the Hill from the Fort with the letters, the Boy holding on to his tail, because he said he would do brake.

And as they came to Cosy Cottage, the stars came out and shone, and the sparrows chattered as they went to bed in the creepers.

And when Baby saw that she trembled and whispered,

"I say, Tiny!" because she loved it so.

But round the corner the Commander-in-Chief waited at the Castle-window.

And when he saw them drive up he smiled.

Then as they got down, all of a sudden a merry little voice from the boot-hole began to sing,

"I'm Master Mischeevous,
My conduct's so grievous,
They've bottled me tight
In a hole—O!
But I laugh—ha! ha! ha!
And I sing—tra-la-la!
For they never can bottle
My soul—O!"

Then Baby clutched Tiny's arm, and whispered,

"Who?"

But Tiny only put his finger to his lips, and led round to the back on his toes. And there he unlocked the door of the boot-hole, and whispered,

"Look."

So Baby peeped round Tiny's shoulder.

And there was a dear little brown mannikin, only so high, with a winky way with him, who scuttled about on bandy legs, and nibbled a nut.

Then Baby whispered,

"Why?"

So Tiny answered,

"By order of the King."

And he told Baby how the mannikin really belonged to the King, who had taken him away from home, to try to make a better mannikin of him, for really he was so very naughty; and the King has to be very strict, although he is so good and kind.

And the King lent him Tiny (by the secret advice of the Commander-in-Chief) to spit on his boots for him. And in return Tiny was to keep him good and tight in the boot-hole, only when he let him out for a little run in the back-yard at dark; which he did now.

And after he had done him up again, he went and hung the key on the nail in the kitchen, where it lived.

Then Baby and Phyllis went down on their knees in the parlour and undid the things.

And after they had undone them, they arranged them round the wall in a row, while Tiny sat in an easy chair, and made remarks, which was the best he could do.

So after about a bit Baby said,

"Now you do some," and she plumped down.

Then Tiny stood on a chair in the parlour, and put his thumb against the wall, and hammered it; while Phyllis stood below with the picture; and Baby said from the easy chair,

"That's capital."

Only it didn't take Tiny quite that way: for he got off the chair and walked about the room with his knees up, and corked his mouth with his thumb, and so on etc.

Only when he saw Baby took no notice, he soon got over it; which is often the way.

And after that Tiny and Baby ran up and downstairs at the double.

And when they got to the top and bottom, they turned and ran down and up again.

And they got in Phyllis's way rather as she tidied up; but she didn't mind, only so long as they enjoyed themselves.

Then they stood at opposite ends of the Cottage, and gave the Others contradictory orders in loud voices.

But the Others didn't hear: for they had paddled out into the back-yard to find out what it was in the boot-hole screaming and scampering so.

And of course it was mannikin, who, when he heard them, came to the crack, and whispered them to undo him, and he would tell them something secret.

So they got the key from the nail, and undid him.

Then mannikin came out into the kitchen, where he wasn't really allowed, and sat on the edge of the table, sucking his thumb.

So the Others held each other, gasping,

"My!" and asked him what the secret was.

But mannikin only swung his legs and said he'd forgotten.

Then he heard Phyllis coming and scurried back to his hole in a terrible fright, and locked himself in, and shoved the key under the door.

And one of the Others came later and picked it up, to hang on the nail; only she forgot—and a good job too.

Then after tea Tiny stole out, and round the corner, and into the Castle by the back-door, to spy out the Commander-in-Chief, and the surprise he was getting ready for the Regiment.

And he crept along the passage and shoved the green-baize door, and peeped into the hall.

And there by the fire sat the King with his crown cocked over his eyes sound-asleep in the rocking-chair after the market; while the Queen churned in the dairy.

And in the darkest corner, under a shaded candle, sat the Commander-in-Chief with his hump up and his head down and wrote a letter very secretly.

And as Tiny looked, he sealed it with a black seal, and said with a snigger,

"Because of Goliath."

Then he rang for the Queen, and gave it her, saying,

"Important—Private—Secret. For Cooey in the morning."

THEN HE RANG FOR THE QUEEN

But Tiny crept home in the dark, with a little rainy wind in his face, and wondered.

Book V headpiece