Chapter Two.
The “Garret.”
The children all thought that Pennie’s best stories were about a certain lumber-room in the vicarage which was called the “Garret.” They were also the most dreadful and thrilling, for there was something about the garret which lent itself readily to tales of mystery and horror. The very air there was always murky and dim, and no sunlight could steal through the tiny lattice window which came poking out from the roof like a half-shut eyelid. Dust and cobwebs had covered the small leaded panes so thickly that a dusky gloom always dwelt there, and gave an unnatural and rather awful look to the various objects. And what a strange collection it was! Broken spindle-legged chairs, rickety boxes, piles of yellow old music-books and manuscripts, and in one corner an ancient harp in a tarnished gilt frame. Poor deserted dusty old things! They had had their day in the busy world once, but that was over now, and they must stay shut up in the silent garret with no one to see them but the spiders and the children. For these last came there often; treading on tiptoe they climbed the steep stairs and unlatched the creaky door and entered, bold but breathless, and casting anxious glances over their shoulders for strange things that might be lurking in the corners. They never saw any, but still they came half hoping, half fearing; and they had, besides, another object in their visits, which was a great great secret, and only known to Pennie, Nancy, and Ambrose. It was indeed a daring adventure, scarcely to be spoken of above a whisper, and requiring a great deal of courage. This was the secret:
They had one day succeeded in forcing open the rickety lattice, which was fastened by a rusty iron hasp, and looked out. There was a steep red-tiled piece of roof covered with little lumps of lichen which ended in a gutter and a low stone balustrade; there were tall crooked chimneys, and plenty of places where cats and children could walk with pleasure and safety. Soon it was impossible to resist the temptation, and one after the other they squeezed themselves through the narrow window, and wriggled cautiously down the steep roof as far as the balustrade. It scraped the hands and knees a good deal to do this, and there was always the danger of going down too fast, but when once the feet arrived safely against the stone coping, what a proud moment it was!
Standing upright, they surveyed the prospect, and mingled visions of Robinson Crusoe, Christopher Columbus, and Alexander Selkirk floated across their brains. “I am monarch of all I survey,” said Pennie on the first occasion. And so she was, for everything seen from that giddy height looked strange and new to her, and it was quite like going into another country.
The old church tower with the chattering jackdaws flying round it, the pear-tree near the nursery window, the row of bee-hives in the kitchen-garden, the distant fields where the cows were no bigger than brown and white specks, all were lifted out of everyday life for a little while. No one had forbidden this performance, because no one knew of it, and the secrecy of it added to the mystery which belonged to everything in the garret.
It was not difficult to keep it hidden from the elders, for they did not go into the lumber-room from year’s end to year’s end; so the spiders and the children had it all to themselves, and did just as they liked there, and wove their cobwebs and their fancies undisturbed. Now, amongst Pennie’s listeners when she told her tales of what went on in the garret after nightfall, Ambrose was the one who heard with the most rapt attention and the most absolute belief. He came next to Nancy in age, and formed the most perfect contrast to her in appearance and character, for Nancy was a robust blue-eyed child, bold and fearless, and Ambrose was a slender little fellow with a freckled skin and a face full of sensitive expression. He was full of fears and fancies, too, poor little Ambrose, and amongst the children he was considered not far short of a coward; it had become a habit to say, “Ambrose is afraid,” on the smallest occasions, and if they had been asked who was the bravest amongst them, they would certainly have pointed out Nancy. For Nancy did not mind the dark, Nancy would climb any tree you liked, Nancy could walk along the top of a high narrow wall without being giddy, Nancy had never been known to cry when she was hurt, therefore Nancy was a brave child. Ambrose, on the contrary, did mind all these things very much; his imagination pictured dangers and terrors in them which did not exist for Nancy, and what she performed with a laugh and no sense of fear, was to him often an occasion of trembling apprehension. And then he was so afraid of the dark! That was a special subject of derision from the others, for even Dickie was bolder in the matter of dark passages and bed-rooms than he was. Ambrose was ashamed, bitterly ashamed of this failing, and he made up his mind a hundred times that he would get over it, but that was in the broad daylight when the sun was shining. As surely as night came, and he was asked perhaps to fetch something from the schoolroom, those wretched feelings of fear came back, for the schoolroom was at the end of a long dark passage.
Nancy, who was always good-natured, though she laughed at him, would give him a nudge on such occasions if she were near him, and say:
“Never mind, I’ll go;” but Ambrose never accepted the offer. He went with a shiver down his back, and a sort of distended feeling in his ears, which seemed to be unnaturally on the alert for mysterious noises.
He always made up his mind before he got to the passage to check a wild desire to run at full speed, and walk through it slowly, but this resolve was never carried out.
Before he had gone two steps in the darkness there would be a sense of something following close behind, and then all was over, and nothing to be seen but a panic-stricken little boy rushing along with his hands held over his ears. How foolish! you will say. Very foolish, indeed, and so said all the other children, adding many a taunt and jeer.
But that did not do poor Ambrose any good, and he remained just as timid as ever. Nevertheless there were moments of real danger when Ambrose had been known to come gallantly to the front, and when he seemed to change suddenly from a fearful, shrinking boy into a hero. Such was the occasion when, alone of all the children, who stood shrieking on the other side of the hedge, he had ventured back into the field to rescue Dickie, who by some accident had been left behind among a herd of cows. There she stood bewildered, holding up her little pinafore full of daisies, helpless among those large horned monsters.
“Run, Dickie,” shouted the children; but Dickie was rooted to the ground with terror, and did not move.
Then Ambrose took his courage in both hands, and leaving the safe shelter of the hedge, ran back to his little sister’s side. As he reached her a large black cow with crooked horns detached herself from the herd, and walked quickly up to the children lashing her tail. Ambrose did not stir. He stood in front of Dickie, took off his straw hat and waved it in the cow’s face. She stood still.
“Run back to the others, Dickie,” said Ambrose quietly, and, Dickie’s chubby legs recovering power of movement, she toddled quickly off, strewing the ground with daisies as she went. Covering her retreat, Ambrose remained facing the cow, and walked slowly backwards still brandishing his hat; then, one quick glance over his shoulder assuring him of Dickie’s safety, he too took to his heels, and scrambled through the gap.
That was certainly brave of Ambrose; for though Farmer Snow told them afterwards, “Thuccy black coo never would a touched ’ee,” still she might have, and for the moment Ambrose was a hero.
The children carried home an excited account of the affair to their father, penetrating into his very study, which was generally forbidden ground.
“And so it was Ambrose who went back, eh?” he said, stroking Dickie’s round head as she sat on his knee.
“Yes, father,” said Pennie, very much out of breath with running and talking, “we were all frightened except Ambrose.”
“And why weren’t you frightened, Ambrose?”
“I was,” murmured Ambrose.
“And yet you went?”
“Yes. Because of Dickie.”
“Then you were a brave boy.”
“A brave boy, a brave boy,” repeated Dickie in a sort of sing-song, pulling her father’s whiskers.
“Now I want you children to tell me,” pursued the vicar, looking round at the hot little eager faces, “which would have been braver—not to be frightened at all, or to go in spite of being frightened?”
“Not to be frightened at all,” answered Nancy promptly.
“Do you all think that?”
“Yes,” said Pennie doubtfully, “I suppose so.”
“Well,” continued the vicar, “I don’t think so, and I will tell you why. I believe the brave man is not he who is insensible to fear, but he who is able to rise above it in doing his duty. People are sometimes called courageous who are really so unimaginative and dull that they cannot understand danger—so of course they are not afraid. They go through their lives very quietly and comfortably, as a rule, but they do not often leave great names behind them, although they may be both good and useful.
“Others, again, we are accustomed to consider cowards, because their active, lively imagination often causes them to see danger where there is none. These people do not pass such peaceable lives as the first; but there is this to be remembered: the same nature which is so alive to fear will also be easily touched by praise, or blame, or ridicule, and eager therefore to do its very best. It is what we call a ‘sensitive’ nature, and it is of such stuff very often, that great men and heroes are made.”
The children listened very attentively to what their father said, and if they did not understand it all they gathered enough to make them feel quite sure that Ambrose had been very brave about the cow. So they treated him for a little while with a certain respect, and no one said “Ambrose is afraid.” As for Ambrose himself, his spirits rose very high, and he began to think he never should feel afraid of anything again, and even to wish for some great occasion to show himself in his new character of “hero.” He walked about in rather a blustering manner just now, with his straw hat very much on one side, and brandished a stick the gardener had cut for him in an obtrusively warlike fashion. As he was a small thin boy, these airs looked all the more ridiculous, and his sister Nancy was secretly much provoked by them; however, she said nothing until one evening when Pennie was telling them stories.
The children were alone in the schoolroom, for it was holiday time. It was just seven o’clock. Soon Nurse would come and carry off Dickie and David to bed, but at present they were sitting one each side of Pennie on the broad window-seat, listening to her with open ears and mouths. Nancy and Ambrose were opposite on the table, with their legs swinging comfortably backwards and forwards.
All day long it had been raining, and now, although it had ceased, the shrubs and trees, overladen with moisture, kept up a constant drip, drip, drip, which was almost as bad. The wind had risen, and went sighing and moaning round the house, and shook the windows of the room where the children were sitting. Pennie had just finished a story, and in the short interval of silence which followed, these plaintive sounds were heard more plainly than ever.
“Hark,” she said, holding up her finger, “how the Goblin Lady is playing her harp to-night! She has begun early.”
“Why does she only play when the wind blows?” asked Ambrose.
“She comes with the wind,” answered Pennie, “that is how she travels, as other people use carriages and trains. The little window in the garret is blown open, and she floats in and takes one of those big music-books, and finds out the place, and then sits down to the harp and plays.”
“What tune does she play?” asked David.
“By the margin of fair Zurich’s waters,” answered Pennie; “sometimes she sings too, but not often, because she is very sad.”
“Why?” inquired Ambrose, ruffling up his hair with one hand, as he always did when he was getting interested.
Pennie paused a moment that her next remark might have full weight; then very impressively and slowly she said:
“She has not always been a Goblin Lady.”
This was so unexpected, and suggested so much to be unfolded, that the children gazed speechless at Pennie, who presently continued:
“Once she was a beautiful—”
“Is she ugly now?” hastily inquired David.
“Don’t, Davie; let Pennie go on,” said Ambrose.
“I want to know just one thing,” put in Nancy; “if it’s dark when she comes, how does she see to read the music?”
“She carries glowworms with her,” answered Pennie; “they shine just like the lamps in father’s gig at night, and light up all the garret.”
“Now, go on, Pennie,” said Ambrose with a deep sigh, for these interruptions were very trying to him. “Once she was a beautiful—”
“A most beautiful lady, with long golden hair. Only she was very very proud and vain. So after she died she could not rest, but has to go flying about wherever the wind will take her. The only pleasure she has is music, and so she always tries to get in where there is anything to play. That is why she goes so often to the garret and plays the harp.”
“Why doesn’t she go into the drawing-room and play the piano?” asked Nancy bluntly. Nancy’s questions were often very tiresome; she never allowed the least haze or uncertainty to hang over any subject, and Pennie was frequently checked in the full flow of her eloquence by the consciousness that Nancy’s eye was upon her, and that she was preparing to put some matter-of-fact inquiry which it would be most difficult to meet.
“There you go, interrupting again,” muttered Ambrose.
“Well, but why doesn’t she?” insisted Nancy, “it would be so much easier.”
“Why, of course she can’t,” resumed Pennie in rather an injured voice, “because of the lights, and the people, and, besides, she never learnt to play the piano.”
“I wish I needn’t either,” sighed Nancy. “How nice to be like the Goblin Lady, and only play the harp when one likes!”
“I should like to see her,” said Ambrose thoughtfully.
“You’d be afraid,” said Nancy; “why, you wouldn’t even go into the garret by daylight alone.”
“That was a long time ago,” said Ambrose quickly. “I wouldn’t mind it now.”
“In the dark?”
“Well, I don’t believe you’d go,” said Nancy. “You might perhaps go two or three steps, and then you’d scream out and run away; wouldn’t he, Pennie?”
“Why, you know he was brave about the cow,” said Pennie, “braver than any of us.”
“That was different. He’s quite as much afraid of the dark as ever. I call it babyish.”
Nancy looked defiantly at her brother, who was getting very red in the face. She was prepared to have something thrown at her, or at least to have her hair, which she wore in a plaited pig-tail, violently pulled, but nothing of the sort happened. Nurse came soon afterwards and bore away David and Dickie, and as she left the room she remarked that the wind was moaning “just like a Christian.”
It certainly was making a most mournful noise that evening, but not at all like a Christian, Ambrose thought, as he listened to it—much more like Pennie’s Goblin Lady and her musical performances.
Pennie had finished her stories now, and she and Nancy were deeply engaged with their dolls in a corner of the room; this being an amusement in which Ambrose took no interest, he remained seated on the table occupied with his own reflections after Nurse had left the room with the two children.
Nancy’s taunt about the garret was rankling in his mind, though he had not resented it openly as was his custom, and it rankled all the more because he felt that it was true. Yes, it was true. He could not possibly go into the garret alone in the dark, and yet if he really were a brave boy he ought to be able to do it. Was he brave, he wondered? Father had said so, and yet just now he certainly felt something very like fear at the very thought of the Goblin Lady.
In increasing perplexity he ruffled up his hair until it stood out wildly in all directions; boom! boom! went the wind, and then there followed a long wailing sort of sigh which seemed to come floating down from the very top of the house.
It was quite a relief to hear Nancy’s matter-of-fact voice just then, as she chattered away about her dolls:
“Now, I shall brush Jemima’s hair,” Ambrose heard her say to Pennie, “and you can put Lady Jane Grey to bed.”
“I ought to be able to go,” said Ambrose to himself, “and after all I don’t suppose the Goblin Lady can be worse than Farmer Snow’s black cow.”
“But her head’s almost off,” put in Pennie’s voice. “You did it the last time we executed her.”
“If I went,” thought Ambrose, continuing his reflections, “they would never, never be able to call me a coward again.”
He slid off the table as he reached this point, and moved slowly towards the door. He stood still as he opened it and looked at his sisters, half hoping they would call him back, or ask where he was going, but they were bending absorbed over the body of the unfortunate Lady Jane Grey, so that two long flaxen pig-tails were turned towards him. They did not even notice that he had moved.
He went quickly through the long dimly-lighted passage, which led into the hall, and found that Mary was just lighting the lamp. This looked cheerful, and he lingered a little and asked her a few questions, not that he really wanted to know anything, but because light and human companionship seemed just now so very desirable. Mary went away soon, and then he strolled a few steps up the broad old staircase, and met Kittles the fluffy cat coming slowly down. Here was another excuse for putting off his journey, and he sat down on the stairs to pass a few agreeable moments with Kittles, who arched his back and butted his head against him, and purred his acknowledgments loudly. But presently, having business of his own, Kittles also passed on his way, and Ambrose was alone again, sitting solitary with his ruffled head leaning on one hand. Then the church clock struck eight. In half an hour it would be bed-time, and his plan not carried out. He must go at once, or not at all. He got up and went slowly on. Up the stairs, down a long winding passage, up some more stairs, and across a landing, on to which the nursery and the children’s bedrooms opened. He stopped again here, for there was a pleasant sound of Dickie and David’s voices, and the splashing of water; but presently he thought he heard Nurse coming out, and he ran quickly round the corner into a little passage which led to the foot of the garret stairs. This passage was dimly-lighted by a small low window, which was almost covered outside by the thickly growing ivy. Even in the daytime it was very dusky, and now it was quite dark, but Ambrose knew the way well, and he groped about with his hands until he came to the steep carpetless steps. And now his heart began to beat very quickly, for he felt that he was in the region of mystery, and that anything might happen at any moment. The wind had dropped, and there was no sound at all to be heard, though he strained his ears to the utmost for some signs of the presence of the Goblin Lady.
“Perhaps,” thought he, “she has finished playing and gone away again with the wind.” This was an encouraging idea, and though his knees trembled a good deal, he went on bravely until he came to the place where the stairs took a sudden sharp turn; but here he saw something which brought him to a standstill again, for underneath the garret door at the top there was a faint gleam of light. “That’s the glowworms,” thought Ambrose, “and she’s there still.” His spirits sank.
Could he go on? It must be now or never. With a tremendous effort he went quickly up the remaining steps, stood on tiptoe to unlatch the door, and pushed it open. It swung back with a creak upon its rusty hinges, and a cold wind rushed in Ambrose’s face, for the window was open. The room was faintly lighted, not with glowworms, but by the pale rays of a watery moon, which made some of the objects whitely distinct, and left others dark and shadowy. Standing motionless on the threshold, Ambrose turned his eyes instinctively to the corner where the harp was dimly visible. There was certainly no one playing it, but as he looked he heard a faint rustle in that direction. What was it? Again it came, this time louder, with a sound like the flapping of feathers. Could it be the Goblin Lady? But Pennie never said she had wings. Unable to go either backwards or forwards, Ambrose remained rooted to the spot with his eyes fixed on the mysterious corner. Rustle, rustle, flap, flap, went the dreadful something, and presently there followed a sort of low hiss. At the same moment a sudden gust of wind burst through the window and banged the door behind him with a resounding clap. Panic-stricken he turned and tried to open it, but his cold trembling fingers could not move the rusty fastening. He looked wildly round for a means of escape, and his eye fell on a bright ray of moonlight resting on the lattice window. He rushed towards it, scrambled up on to a box, from thence to the window-ledge, and thrust himself through the narrow opening. If the thing came after him now, he could go no further than the balustrade, unless he jumped down into the garden, “and that would kill me,” he thought, “Pennie has often said so.”
He stood on the rough tiles, holding on to the iron window frame with one hand; behind him the dark garret, where the thing still flapped and rustled, and before him the sloping roof, the tall chimneys, the garden beneath, partly lighted up by the moon. He could see the nursery window, too, in an angle of the house, brightly illumined by the cheerful fire within. Dickie and David were snugly in bed now, warm and safe, and Nurse was most likely searching everywhere for him. If they only knew!
“If ever I get back,” he said to himself, “I never will try to be brave again; it’s much better to be called a coward always.” He had hardly come to this conclusion before, with a tremendous whirring noise, something came banging up against the shut part of the window from within the garret. Ambrose gave one wild scream, let go his hold, and went rolling over and over quicker and quicker, down—down—down.