Joe Reed's Mule Hunt.
One of the best natured fellows in the world, when he is not mad, is Joe Reed, of Logan County, Illinois, Joe is a staunch Republican—a real rip-rarer in the cause, and has given Uncle Abe the lift of a mighty broad pair of shoulders more than once, although at first he had a poor opinion of the rail-splitter. Thereby hangs a tale.
In 18—, (the date is forgotten on account of the coldness of the weather that winter,) Joe lost a couple of mules. After they had been gone for a long time, he chanced to hear of them in a settlement somewhere within the present bounds of Macon County. Illinois. At the first opportunity Joe started on a mule hunt, determined to find either the mules or some trace of them. On reaching the neighborhood in question, Joe was satisfied that an old fellow named Bosby Sheel, had his mules; and when he went in person, and saw them, the assurance of his eyes made "assurance double sure." He at once made claim, but the old fellow had heard that possession was nine points of the law—he declined to surrender them; Joe immediately appealed to old Squire P———, who at once summoned the holder of the mules to his Court. The Squire informed Joe that he would have to prove property; but Joe said he would only have to swear to his property. In this dilemma, the Squire adjourned Court till after dinner and remarked to Joe that he had better get a lawyer.
"There is young Abe Lincoln, he don't live far from here, and he'll be at my house after dinner."
As he was the only lawyer immediately thereabouts, Joe thought he had best employ him, in order to "have the law on his side."
Soon after dinner a stranger arrived, and the Justice (who was landlord of the only hotel in the settlement,) whispered to Joe, that that was the lawyer.
"What!" exclaimed Joe, "that lean, lank gawky? Why, I'll bet both of them mules I know more law nor he does, for I'm a 'Squire at home myself—I am."
"But his looks is mighty deceivin', I tell you," said Boniface. "He's gin out to be one of the piertest young fellows short o' Sangamon."
But Joe was decided, and the 'Squire re-convened his Court, he having the meantime laid the case before his young friend, the lawyer, and got his opinion.
Acting his own lawyer, Joe felt it due to his course to give a concise statement of the law. As he stood up, he still continued to read from a green-covered book that had engaged his attention most of the day It was one of Cooper's latest novels. As Joe gave his version of the law, it seemed to 'Squire P——— that he was reading the law.
"Is that really the law?" said he, as Joe finished his version of the law—not the book. "Let me see that book."
Joe mechanically handed it to him.
After pouring over it for some time, he handed it back, with an air of disappointment, remarking:
"Drat me! if I see any sich law in that book."
"Well, it ain't no wonder ye don't—that's the Red Rover, a novel and not a law book, and you've been and lost my place too," Joe found his place, and continued: "what I told you is what the law says, and I know it's so."
"Well, as you're a 'Squire, too, I reckon you ought to know. As the mules don't belong to old man Bosby Sheel and you swear they are you'rn, I hold he's bound to give'em up."
Joe rallied the old Squire rather hard about looking over the Red Rover for extra law, but finally "give a treat" and left the Squire and his friend in the best of humors.
Said Uncle Abe when he had the small-pox, "I now can give something to every one who calls."