"There's Enough for All."
Uncle Abe was terribly bored by the office seekers, even before the Presidential house-warming had scarcely began. The Illinois politicians were the most ravenous pap-Suckers of all.
"Just wait a little," said Uncle Abe, "I can assure you, as L———d S———t did the swine, 'there's enough for all.'"
"Let us have the story, Uncle Abe," said one of the crowd, who evidently expected something rich.
"Why, you see," began Uncle Abe, "I attended court many years ago at Mt. Pulaski, the first county seat of Logan County, and there was the jolliest set of rollicking young Lawyers there that you ever saw together. There was Bill F———n, Bill H———n, L———d S———t, and a lot more, and they mixed law and Latin, water and whisky, with equal success. It so fell out that the whisky seemed to be possessed of the very spirit of Jonah. At any rate, S———t went out to the hog-pen, and, leaning over, began to 'throw up Jonah.' The hogs evidently thought it feed time, for they rushed forward and began to squabble over the voided matter.
"'Don't fight (hic),' said S———t: 'there's enough (hic) for all.'"
—The politicians couldn't see anything to laugh at, although the "snubbin" was plain enough.