CONFIDENTIAL ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN.
We have given such specific directions as have seemed to us necessary to form the gentleman. In many cases it has been necessary to repeat admonitions in order to impress on the mind of the reader the propriety of certain special observances. Let this excuse what may, at times, appear to be a repetition or a tautology. In this chapter we wish to address young men confidentially and candidly upon some of those habits and ways of life which serve to mold the character of the man to a considerable degree, and, hence, are of vital importance in their relations to society and to individuals.
A young man who starts out in life without any settled purpose in mind, is laboring at great disadvantage. He will waste several years in useless and aimless endeavor to "get along," which he ought to have given up to settling and systematizing his life-occupation. If he is to learn a trade, let him resolve upon it at as early a moment as is practicable, and once resolved upon, let all his energies be devoted to his pursuit. Success will be sure to follow such an endeavor; and the age of twenty-five will, beyond a doubt, if health does not fail, find the young man a respected member of community, an efficient workman earning a liberal living, and well qualified to enter upon the business and responsibilities of wedded life. If, on the contrary, the young man allows his majority to find him still deficient in a knowledge of the trade he knows he must or ought to follow, it is almost a moral certainty that he never will attain to the efficiency, the industry, and self-reliance which, otherwise, must have marked him. Learn your trade, then, ere your majority comes; and, when once learned, remember that,
Through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
spring those blessings and rewards which almost inevitably follow upon endeavor rightly directed.
If you propose a commercial life, let there be no hesitation in the decision; but go at it bravely, cheerfully, persistently, that your majority may find you enjoying the confidence of employers, and on the high-road to your own independence. Remember, solemnly remember, that incorruptible honesty, integrity unimpeachable, virtue uncontaminated, are the best riches the heart of man can ever attain—that wealth gained at a sacrifice of any of these qualities is a leprosy of gold which will cover the very soul with loathsomeness. If the author of this chapter had a million of dollars to bestow, it would be joyfully hurled into the sea, to be lost forever, if its possessorship could impair the virtue and moral excellence of its recipients. View wealth, as honorable only when honorably attained and rationally enjoyed; and your life will be one which you, your friends, and your children will call blessed.
If you design a professional life, it should be determined on before the years of school-life are ended, that you may direct your studies and mold your thoughts into the most effective channels. As in a commercial life, remember that the key-stone of success lies in your honesty. A man who enters upon the practice of the law, or of medicine merely for gain, is starting out with a bad principle, which will not fail to produce bad results even though wealth be obtained; for, if purity of heart, disinterestedness, self-respect are all gone, of what avail is money? The veriest vagrant, who comes honestly by his poverty, is a nobler being than he who comes dishonorably by his wealth.
As has been said, in previous pages, gentility has much to do with success in life. It opens a way for progress where no rudeness would avail—it unlocks sympathies, awakens friendships, commands confidences which are better than mortgages and bonds in our dealings with men; and we therefore commend earnestly to your attention what we have said on previous pages in regard to the rules and observances of the good-breeding which indicates true gentility.