THE STORY OF THE LITTLE HUNCH-BACK.
There was in former times at Casgar, upon the utmost borders of Tartary, a tailor who had a pretty wife, whom he ardently loved, and by whom he was loved in return. One day, as he sat at work, a little hunch-back my lord came and sat down at the shop-door, began singing, at same time playing upon a tabor. The tailor was pleased to hear him, and had a strong mind to take him to his house to make his wife merry: This little fellow, said he to his wife, will divert us both very agreeably. In fine, he invited my lord, who readily accepted of the invitation; the tailor then shut up his shop, and conducted him in. The little gentleman being arrived at the tailor's house, his wife covered the table, and they sat down to sup on a good large dish of fish; but as they ate heartily, the little crooked gentleman unluckily swallowed a large bone, of which he died in a few minutes, notwithstanding all the tailor and his wife could do to prevent it. Both were mightily frightened at the accident, especially as it happened in their house; and there was reason to fear, that if the justiciary magistrates should hear of it, they would be punished as assassins. The husband, however, found an expedient to get rid of the corpse: recollecting that there was a Jewish doctor who lived just by, he formed a project, to execute which, his wife and he took the corpse, the one by the feet and the other by the head, and carried it to the physician's house. They knocked at the door, from which ascended a steep pair of stairs to his chamber. As soon as they bad knocked, the servant-maid came down without any light; and, opening the door, asked what they wanted. Pr'ythee, go up again, said the tailor, and tell your master we have brought him a man that is very sick, and wants his advice. Here, putting a piece of money into her hand, give him that beforehand, to convince him that we have no mind to make him lose his labour. While the servant was gone up to acquaint her master with the welcome news, the tailor and his wife nimbly conveyed the hunch-backed corpse to the head of the stairs; and, leaving it there, ran off.
In the mean time, the maid, having told the doctor that a man and a woman staid for him at the door, desiring he would come down and look upon a sick man they had brought with them, and the maid clapping the money she had received into his hand, the doctor was transported with joy; being paid beforehand, he thought it was a good job, and should not be neglected. Light, light! cried he to the maid; follow me nimbly. However, without staying for the light, he got to the stair-head in such haste, that stumbling against the corps, he gave it such a kick, as made it tumble down quiite to the stair-foot, and with difficulty saved himself. A light, a light! cried he to the maid, quick, quick! at last the maid came with a light, and he went down stairs with her; but when he gav that the stumbling-block he had kicked down was a dead man, he was so frightened, that he invoked Moses, Aaron, Joshua, and Esdras, and all the other prophets of his law. Unhappy man that I am! said he, what induced me to come down without a light? I have e'en made an end of the fellow who was brought to me to be cured? I am undoubtedly the cause of his death, and unless, Esras's ass[Footnote: Here the Arabian author ridicules the Jews: this ass is that which, as the Mahometans believe, Esdras rode upon when he came from the Babylonian captivity to Jerusalem.] comes to assist me, I nm ruined: mercy on me, they will be here instantly, and drag me from my house as a murderer! But, notwithstanding the perplexity and jeopardy he was in, he had the precaution to shut his door, lest any one passing by in the street should observe the mischance, of which he reckoned himself the author. He then took the corpse into his wife's chamber, upon which she swooned away. Alas! cried she, we are utterly ruined! undone! undone! unless we fall upon some expedient or other to turn the corpse out of our house this night! Beyond all question, if we harbour it till morning, our lives must pay for it. What a sad mischance is this! Why, how did you kill this man? That is not the question, replied the Jew; our business now is to find out a remedy for such a shocking accident. They then consulted together how to get rid of the corpse that night. The doctor racked his brain in vain; he could not think of any stratagem to get clear: but his wife, who was more fertile in invention, said, there is a thought come into my head; let us carry.the corpse to the leads of our house, and tumble it down the chimney into the house of the Mussulman, our next neighbour. This Mussulman, or Turk, was one of the sultan's purveyors for furnishing oil, butter, and all sorts of fat, tallow, &c. and had a magazine in his house, in which the rats and mice made prodigious havoe.
The Jewish doctor approving the proposed expedient, his wife and he took the little hunch-back up to the roof of the house; and, clapping ropes under his arm-pits, let him down the chimney into the purveyor's chamber so softly and dexterously, that he stood upright against the wall as if he had been alive. When they found he stood firm, they pulled up the ropes, and left the gentleman in that posture. They were scarcely got into their chamber, when the purveyor went into his, being just come from a wedding feast, with a lantern in his hand. He was mightily surprised, when, by the light of his lantern, he descried a man standing upright in his chimney; but being a stout man, and apprehending it was a thief or a robber, he took up a large cane; and, making straight up to the hunch-back, Ah, said he, I thought it was the rats and the mice that ate my butter and tallow! and it is you that come down the chimney to rob me, is it? I question if ever you come back again on the same errand? This said, he fell foul of the man, and gave him a good many swinging thwacks with his cane: upon which the corpse fell down, running its nose against the ground, and the purveyor redoubled his blows: but, observing that the body did not move, he stood to consider a little; when, perceiving it was a corpse, fear succeeded his anger. Wretched man that I am! said he; what have I done? I have killed a man! alas, I have carried my revenge too far! good God, unless thou pityest me, my life is gone! Cursed, ten thousand times accursed, be the fat and the oil that gave occasion to the commission of so criminal an action. In fine, he stood pale and thunder-struck; he thought he saw the officers already come to drag him to condign punishment, and could not think what resolution to take.
The sultan of Casgar's purveyor did not observe the little gentleman's hunch when he was beating him, but as soon as he did, he threw out a thousand imprecations against him. Ah, you crooked hunch-back! cried he; would to God you had robbed me of all my fat, and I had not found you here! had it been so, I would not have been now so much perplexed for the sake of you and your nasty hunch. Oh! the stars that twinkle in the heavens give light to none but me in this dangerous Juncture! As soon as he had uttered these words, he took the little crooked corpse upon his shoulders, and carried it out of doors to the end of the street, where he set it upright against a shop, and then trudged home again without looking behind him.
A few minutes before the break of day, a Christian merchant, who was very rich, and furnished the sultan's palace with most things it wanted; this merchant, having sat up all night debauching, stepped out of his house to go to bathe. Though he was drunk, he was sensible that the night was far spent, and that the people would quickly be called to the morning prayers, which begin at break of day; he therefore quickened his pace to get in time to the bath, lest a Turk, meeting him in his way to the mosque, should carry him to prison for a drunkard. When he came to the end of the street, he stopped on some necessary occasion, and leaned against the shop where the sultan's purveyor had put the hunch-backed corpse; but the corpse being jostled, tumbled upon the merchant's back. The merchant thinking it was a robber that came to attack him, knocked him down with a hearty box on the ear, and, after redoubling his blows, cried out, Thieves! The outcry alarmed the watch, who came up immediately; and finding a Christian beating a Turk, (for crump-back was of our religion), What reason have you, said he, to abuse a Mussulman after this rate? He would have robbed me, replied the merchant, and jumped upon my back with intent to take me by the throat. If he did, said the watch, you have revenged yourself sufficiently; come, get off him. At the same time he stretched out his hand to help little crump-back up: but observing that he was dead, Ah! hey-day! said he, is it thus that a Christian dares to assassinate a Mussulman? So he laid hold of the Christian, and carried him to the sheriff's house, where he was kept till the judge was up, and ready to examine him. In the mean time, the Christian merchant grew sober, and the more he reflected upon his adventure, the less could he conceive how such single fisty-cuffs could kill the man. The judge having heard the report of the watch, and viewed the corpse, which they had taken care to bring to his house, interrogated the Christian merchant, who could not deny the crime, though he had not committed it. But the judge considering that little crump-back belonged to the sultan, (for he was one of his buffoons) would not put the Christian to death till he knew the sultan's pleasure. For this end he went to the palace, and acquainted the sultan with what had happened, and received from him this answer, I have no mercy to show to a Christian, who kills a Mussulman; go do your office. Upon this the judge ordered a gibbet to be erected, and sent criers all over the city to proclaim that they were about to hang a Christian for killing a Mussulman.
In fine, the merchant was brought out of gaol to the foot of the gallows; and the hangman, having put the rope about his neck, was going to throw him off, when the sultan's purveyor pushed through die crowd, made up to the gibbet, calling to the hangman to stop, for that the Christian had not committed the murder, but himself. The sheriff who attended the execution immediately put interrogatories to the purveyor, who told him every circumstance of his killing the little crump-back, and conveying his corpse to the place where the merchant found him. You were about, added he, to put to death an innocent person; for how can he be guilty of the death of a man who was dead before he saw him? My burden is sufficient in having killed a Turk, without loading my conscience with the additional charge of the death of a Christian who is not guilty.
The sultan of Casgar's purveyor having publicly charged himself with the death of the little hunch-backed man, the sheriff could not avoid doing justice to the merchant. Let the Christian go, said he, and hang this man in his room, since it appears by his own confession that he is guilty. Whereupon the hangman released the merchant, and clapped the rope round the purveyor's neck; but just as he was going to pull him up, he heard the voice of the Jewish doctor, earnestly entreating him to suspend the execution, and make room for him to throw himself at the foot of the gallows. When he appeared before the judge, My lord, said he, this Mussulman you are going to hang is not guilty: the crime rests with me. Last night a man and a woman, unknown to me, came to my house with a sick man they had brought along with them; and knocking at my door, my maid went and opened it without a light, and received from them a piece of money, with a commission to come and desire me, in their names, to step down and look upon the sick person. While she was delivering her message to me, they conveyed the sick person to the stair-head, and then disappeared. I went down, without staying for my servant to light a candle, and in the dark happened to stumble upon the sick person, and kicked him down stairs. In fine, I saw he was dead, and that it was the crooked Mussulman, whose death you are now about to avenge. So my wife and I took the corpse, and, after conveying it up to the leads of our house, moved it to the roof of the purveyor's house, our next neighbour, and let it down the chimney into the chamber. The purveyor, finding it in his house, took the little man for a thief, and, after beating him, concluded he had killed him; but that it was not so, you will be convinced by this my deposition; so that I am the only author of the murder: and though it was committed undesignedly, I have resolved to expiate my crime by keeping clear of the charge of the death of two Mussulmen, and hinder you from executing the sultan's purveyor, whose innocence I have now revealed. So pray dismiss him, and put me in his place, for I alone am the cause of the death of the little man.
The chief justice being persuaded that the Jewish doctor was the murderer, gave orders to the executioner to seize him, and release the purveyor. Accordingly the doctor was just going to be hung up, when the tailor appeared, crying to the executioner to hold his hand, and make room for him, that he might come and make his confession to the lord justice; which being done, My lord, said he to the judge, you have narrowly escaped taking away the lives of three innocent persons, but if you will have patience to hear me, I will discover to you the real murderer of the crook-backed man. If his death is to be expiated by another, that must be mine. Yesterday evening, as I was at work in my shop, and pretty merry, the little hunch-back came to my door half drunk, and sat down before it. He began to sing, so I invited him to pass the evening at my house. Accordingly, he accepted of the invitation, and went with me. We sat down to supper, and I gave him a plate of fish; but, in eating, a bone stuck in his throat; and though my wife and I did our utmost to relieve him, he died in a few minutes. His death affected us extremely; and from fear of being charged with it, we carried the corpse to the Jewish doctor's house, and knocked at the door. The maid coming down and opening it, I desired her to go up forthwith, and ask her master to come down and give his advice to a sick person that we had brought along with us; and withal, to encourage him, I charged her to give him a piece of money, which I put into her hand. When she was gone up, I carried hunch-back up stairs, laid him upon the uppermost step, and then my wife and I made the best of our way home. The doctor, in coming down, kicked the corpse down stairs, and thereupon he supposed himself to be the author of his death. Now, this being the case, continued he, release the doctor, and let me die in his room.
The chief justice, and all the spectators, could not sufficiently admire the strange emergencies that ensued upon the death of the little crooked gentleman. Let the Jewish doctor go, said the judge, and hang up the tailor, since he confesses the crime. It is certain this history is very uncommon, and deserves to be recorded in letters of gold. The executioner having dismissed the doctor, made every thing ready to tie up the tailor. While the executioner was making ready to hang up the tailor, the sultan of Casgar, wanting the company of his crooked jester, asked where he was. One of his officers answered, The hunch-back, sir, whom you inquire after, got drunk last night, and, contrary to his custom, slipped out of the palace, went a sauntering into the city, and was this morning found dead. A man was brought before the chief justice, and charged with the murder of him; but as he was going to be hanged, up came a man, and after him another, who took the charge upon themselves, and cleared each other. The examination has continued a long while, and the judge is now interrogating a third man who avows himself the real author of the murder.
Upon this intelligence, the sultan of Casgar sent a hussar to the place of execution. Go, said he to the messenger, make all the haste you can, bring the arraigned persons before me immediately, with the corpse of poor crump-back, that I may see him once more. Accordingly the hussar went, and happened to arrive at the place of execution at the time when the executioner was going to tie up the tailor. He cried aloud to the executioner to suspend the execution. The hangman, knowing the hussar, did not dare to proceed, but untied the tailor; and then the hussar acquainted the judge with the sultan's pleasure. The judge obeyed, and went straight to the palace, accompanied by the tailor, the Jewish doctor, and the Christian merchant; causing four of his men to carry the hunch corpse along with him. The judge, on appearing before the sultan, threw himself at the prince's feet, and, after recovering himself, gave him a faithful relation of what he knew of the story of the crump-backed man. The sultan found the story so uncommon, that he ordered his private historians to write it with all its circumstances. Then addressing himself to the audience, Did you ever hear, said he, such a surprising story as has happened on account of my little crooked buffoon? The Christian merchant then, after falling down, and saluting the earth with his forehead, spoke in the following manner: Most puisant monarch, said he, I know a story even more astonishing than that you have now spoken off; and if your majesty will give me leave, I will tell it you. The circumstances are such, that nobody can hear them without being moved. Well, said the sultan, I give you leave; and the merchant went on as follows.