MESSAGE FROM MARS.
Alarm Lest the Americans Shall Gain a Foothold There.
Galveston, Texas. Dec. 21.—The meteoric message which has been expected from the planet Mars for several days, and which the astronomers located on Pikes Peak, Colorado, left Mars over two years ago, dropped in the bay off here to-day, striking the water with a sizzling sound. It was still quite hot when picked up and the metallic covering had to be broken up with an oceanic pile driver. The message was written on asbestos paper in non-fading ink, and a crude translation of it conveys the information that the high ruler of the combined continents of Mars died of gastronomic fright two years ago last November while watching an American Thanksgiving day celebration. He predicted before his death, that if the Americans ever got a foothold on this planet, they would ruin the incomparable digestion of every resident by the introduction of cranberry sauce, mince pie and plum pudding.