“You Don’t Have to Yell at Me”
Mr. H— was the prosperous owner of a general store and had about everything he needed except normal hearing. He was deaf, unmistakably deaf, but with the pathetic obstinacy of some thus afflicted, he would not admit it.
Late one afternoon a well-known citizen called at the store on an errand for his wife. Others were waiting as the following transaction was pulled off, and not strange to say, seemed to find it rather amusing.
“I want a half pound of cream tartar.”
The storekeeper seemed unusually impressed.
“Freem Parker,” said he. “What’s happened to him?”
Freeman Parker was a well known and popular citizen of the vicinity.
“A half pound of cream tartar, I said,” the customer replied, raising his voice.
“Freem Parker is dead,” said the merchant.
“Why, when did it happen?”
“I want a half pound of CREAM TARTAR,” was the reply in a very loud voice.
“Oh! you want cream tartar, do you,” said the dealer in icy tones.
“You don’t need to yell at me. I’m not deaf.”
As before suggested, it is good policy in a rural district to cultivate reasonably cordial relations with one’s neighbors. Therefore it was probably poor tactics for a certain exasperated farmer to set a bear trap in his corn crib. To be sure, he was eminently successful, finding an exceedingly undesirable citizen the next morning securely fastened by one hand in the savage jaws of the trap. But it may be taken for granted that the farmer, who released the man at once, must have felt easier when the man left the neighborhood which it is hoped he soon did. Another farm owner was much more diplomatic.