D.
The following rather neat parody, which appeared in a London evening paper at the time of the passing of the Light Railways Act, expresses a very reasonable doubt, in which I fully share, as to the specially beneficial effect of the measure on agriculture. Fortunately, the Act has been taken very quietly, and such schemes as have been promoted will, for the most part, be of considerable general advantage. Certainly there are some cases in which farmers would be the gainers by a light railway, but these are an infinitesimal proportion of their whole number.
THAT TIGHT LITTLE, LIGHT LITTLE
“Non si male nunc et olim
Sic erit.”
You farmers, who lately
Have suffered so greatly
From agricultural depression,
Shake off gloom and sorrow,
A brighter to-morrow
Will dawn in the course of the Session.
By no relaxation
Of rates or taxation,
By a certain sure-never-to-fail way,
Through Government’s pleasure
To bring in a measure
For giving some districts a railway:
A tight little, light little railway,
A nice little, light little railway,
O think of the joy
Of that exquisite toy,
A tight little, light little railway.
Your wheat may grow cheaper,
The pay of your reaper
May rise to a figure outrageous;
The weather may lay all
Your crops, and your hay all
Be ruined by tempests rampageous;
Your stock mayn’t grow fatter,
But that does not matter,
Except in a bargain and sale way:
What are these to the blessing
Of really possessing
A tight little, light little railway?
(Chorus.)
You may not have a fraction
Of produce for traction,
Not a stone’s weight to put in a wagon,
Not a horse in your stable,
No bread on your table,
Not a shoe to your foot, not a rag on:
All this would be frightful
Were it not so delightful
To see in as-slow-as-a-snail way
The trucks all go gliding
From track into siding,
From siding to track on your railway.
(Chorus.)
Then, oh fortunati
Agricolœ, wait, aye
Wait, for the clouds to roll by you:
Your troubles are over;
To-morrow, in clover,
You’ll laugh at the ills that now try you.
“Ex machinâ Deus
Is coming to free us,
Not in an old-fashioned or stale way.”
Let this be your chorus—
“A future’s before us;
Three cheers for the light little railway!”
(Chorus.)