CHAPTER XIV.
It was now highly important to find Ernst. We left the house before day-break; Bertha was still sleeping.
I permitted Martella and Rothfuss to conduct me to the hospital in which the Colonel was lying. I was scarcely conscious where I was, or whither I was going; I felt as if there was a heavy burden upon my shoulders, and could not help looking to the right and left, as if something was threatening me. But I could endure it and could proceed without assistance.
Rolunt seemed to have expected me. He said the Colonel was in about the same condition, neither better nor worse. I bade him send one of the female attendants to Bertha; I could not tell him who it was I sought.
When we left the house, my grandson, the vicar, approached me. "Grandfather, I know all," said he, "but at such a time one can bear manifold troubles. I also endure them; I have just come from my sad duties at a deathbed."
I told him that we were seeking Ernst, and we thought he might be with those with whom, just before the march, he had held a brief divine service. We went with him. The day began to dawn.
The graceful figure of Martella seemed to hover in the gray twilight, and as she turned and looked upon me, it seemed to me that the extraordinary depth of the sockets of her eyes was greater than ever. There was something sadly brilliant in her glance, and it seemed directed to a distance.
Before the village, on a plain in front of a small hill, the regiments were formed in deep squares, presenting masses that looked like church walls.
We searched around. Martella went to the left, Rothfuss to the right. They came back; they had not found Ernst, and yet he must be there. Martella stood quietly near me; only once did she look up at me, and her eye was piercingly brilliant. She folded her hands together convulsively, apparently, also, to conceal her trepidation.
A chorale was performed by the band, in which all the troops present joined, while the heavens reddened as the vicar, with steady steps, descended the hill, and wended his way towards us. Every one held his breath; perhaps Ernst is down there among them.
The vicar spoke with a clear voice. He had pleased by his written words, but when he spoke, it was still better and more inspiring.
"See here!" he exclaimed. "I have come here without any Bible. Holy is the Book of Revelation, thrice holy. With it the world has learned to comprehend itself and God, and will gather instruction from it to all eternity.
"I carry it in my heart, and from my heart I call out to you in the words of the Apostle Paul (Romans xiv. 7): 'For none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself.' That should be in your soul, in your memory, should your soul be in a struggle, and, if it must be so, in death. Thou art not for thyself in this world, and goest not for thyself from this world. Thou art called, thou art mustered for the great universal battle for the holy kingdom of the spirit, of honor, of freedom, of unity.
"Just imagine, ye who have achieved the victory and must again win it, how it would be if all these things were reversed.
"The spirit of darkness hovers in the air like millions of black ravens, hiding the sun and blighting everything that hath life. Through the streets of thy native villages rage the wild hordes of Asia, and murder, robbery, outrage, and fire prevail everywhere.
"Thou who mournest thy brother, or thy fallen comrade, thou that liest wounded, forget thy pain. Open thine eyes! Through thee, through thy comrades, the light of the world is rescued: knowledge, justice, decency, honor, integrity. I say it to you and you may say it to each other; for thus has God willed it.
"And thou who still holdest the weapon in thy firm grasp, be of cheerful heart! The saints hover over the banners that you shall victoriously bring home; and when the bloody, cruel, terrible work is done, then you will permit no other pride to possess you, than that you were summoned to labor for the kingdom of freedom and unity, for the kingdom of the spirit, in which there is no enemy to be conquered, but in which each shall be a moving temple of the Holy Spirit. Keep yourselves firm: for none of us liveth to himself, and no man dieth to himself. Amen!"
A quiet prayer was offered up; then the regiments moved into column, and the whole army set itself in motion.
The vicar came to me, and for a long while held me by the hand. We uttered no word. Then he followed the army, and I went with Rothfuss and Martella back to the hospital.