VI. HONOR TO WHOM HONOR IS DUE
Lincoln always seemed to be far more proud of his fist fight with Jack Armstrong of the Clary gang than of his near-duel with Shields and his political ring. He had many an occasion to refer to the Clary boys, but never to the Shields crowd.
It was not Lincoln’s disposition to have personal quarrels.
Only one other is known. He got into a verbal encounter with a man named Anderson at Lawrenceville. Anderson wrote him a harsh note demanding satisfaction.
Lincoln replied, “Your note of yesterday is received. In the difficulty between us of which you speak you say you think I was the aggressor. I do not think I was. You say my words ‘imported insult.’ I meant them as a fair set-off to your own statements, and not otherwise; and in that light alone I now wish you to understand them. You ask for my ‘present feelings on the subject.’ I entertain no unkind feeling toward you, and none of any sort upon the subject, except a sincere regret that I permitted myself to get into such altercation.”
Mr. Anderson was “satisfied” and henceforth counted himself as one of Lincoln’s friends.
Another example shows Lincoln’s idea of quarrels. It ought to be impressed upon every boy’s mind, as the belief of this great leader of men.
In the midst of the war a young officer had been court-martialed for a quarrel with one of his associates, and Lincoln had to give him an official reprimand. It was as follows:
“The advice of a father to his son, ‘Beware of entrance to a quarrel, but, being in, bear it that the opposed may beware of thee!’ is good, but not the best. Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper, and the loss of self-control. Yield larger things to which you can show no more than equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly your own. Better give your path to a dog than to be bitten by him in contesting for the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite.”
Lincoln and His Cabinet at the First Reading of the Emancipation Proclamation.
But the Shields’ quarrel and its skyrocket burlesque had another effect probably of priceless consequence to Lincoln. There was a certain whole-souled, self-effacing championship in it of the two girls who had written the last “Rebecca letter.” Mary Todd appreciated it, and she had to express her appreciation to the man whom she knew loved her, but who feared that he could not make her happy. Merely to be made happy is not all that a real woman of true womanhood is concerned with in her choice of a husband. Doubtless, she saw in him qualities to love rather than form or manners. She had abundance of time to consider all things and we may well believe that she was wise and good in her choice. Considering their differences, it is really a great testimony and tribute to her that so little could ever be found for cruel gossip about incompatibility and unhappiness in the Lincoln household.
Mary Todd ignored the coldness that Lincoln’s sensitiveness had brought between them, in the mutual adjustment of courtship, and she thanked him for keeping her out of the Shields’ gossip and controversy. The coldness disappeared and never returned. They were married, and we must believe that humanity owes her a priceless debt, that she was one of the three great souls who made the immortal man, that together in glory are three great names, Nancy Hanks Lincoln, Sarah Bush Lincoln and Mary Todd Lincoln.