CHAPTER LXI.—SMUDGEOGRAPHY; OR, HOW TO TELL THE CHARACTER BY HANDWRITING.
This is a portrait of Billy Baker ([Fig. 1]). It is not by the famous Flemish artist Van Daub, whose works are to be found in every gallery in Europe, but by his distant relative Von Smudge, whose efforts need only to be known to be equally appreciated. It is understood to be a successful attempt to tell Billy’s character ‘from his handwriting.’ It is not a flattering likeness. We are afraid Von Smudge found that the hand was not in due submission to the will. It, however, shows Billy as having a deal of breadth and very substantial understanding.
Fig. 1.
It is his own fault if he did not ‘come out’ better. All that he had to do was to write his ‘usual signature’ with a thickish pen dipped heavily into the ink, and while it was wet and easily blottable Von Smudge folded the paper so as to divide it in the middle, gave a little pat with his finger where the head ought to be, a rub with his thumb where the arms should come, and an artistic flourish all along the line, and, lo! this was the ‘character’ he produced.
The parents of Billy were much flattered at the result, and, having ‘great faith in the system,’ proceeded to inquire whether their son would do best as a Rapparee or a Nigger corner-man. They were informed, however, that ‘as the handwriting changes the character develops,’ and agreed to wait before deciding, and in the meanwhile let Billy have six lessons from a professional writing master. This was done, and now Billy’s writing, like Billy himself, has no character at all!
Fig. 2.
Martin Jones was another of Von Smudge’s sitters. He also ‘wrote his usual signature,’ and in like manner did ‘the artist’ fold the paper on which it was written and produce the accompanying Napoleonic figure ([Fig. 2]). As Martin is a fat-faced stunted little fellow with no chance of reaching five feet two, he decided long ago to go in for ‘brain power and command,’ and the Bonapartish portrait is said by him to be ‘characteristic.’ So it is—of Von Smudge.
Fig. 3.
Von Smudge’s theory is, that no matter what name be written, ‘the character will always be that of the writer.’ In an unguarded moment he consented to sign himself as Walter Scott, and this is the ‘character’ that was revealed ([Fig. 3]). There must be some truth in Von Smudge’s theory, for this is not in the least like Sir Walter, whereas in general Janusfacedness and clumsiness it may be taken as a fit symbol of ‘the artist.’
Fig. 4.
Miss Jenks was persuaded to have her ‘character indicated.’ It was ‘indicated’ with a vengeance ([Fig. 4]).
She has not called again. Von Smudge says she used too fine a pen. ‘Freedom, perfect freedom, is necessary in the handwriting.’ To which we may add that the thicker the lines, the more the ink, and the harder the paper, the better the result.
Fig. 5.
One success Von Smudge did have, that in the case of Ellis Ferris, whom he managed to hit off to a nicety—in a caricature, of course. We give the portrait of Ellis in [Fig. 5]. He is not pleased with it himself, but his friends and enemies assure him it is ‘very like.’ Ellis signed his name with a skewer dipped half an inch in the inkpot, and so gave himself a chance.
Von Smudge has not patented his invention, so that all can try it who care to do so. And it is not a bad amusement for a stray half-hour. The important point is not to be too scratchy in the writing or too careful of the ink.
It is also capable of development. If the paper, instead of being folded in the middle of the signature, be folded above or below it, a duplicate will be produced; if a portrait be drawn and folded down on to the paper while the ink is wet, a reverse copy will be printed off; and if an ornamental design be drawn on paper, it can also be reproduced in reverse by smudgeography, and, owing to the copy taking off the surplus ink and the original being thus reduced to about the same intensity, the pattern will be much more equal in tone than would be thought without trial. All sorts of outline decorative work can be done in this way, and with careful management of the ink the labour of drawing duplicates can be saved.
However, we began this chapter merely with a view of popularising Von Smudge’s new method of character-reading, which does not prosper in his hand quite so much as he expected. In fact, he has taken to saying, ‘There is the idea, let others try if they can make anything out of it.’ And others may as well. They will be just as near the ‘character’ by this means as by any other. It will take them some time to beat the sketch of Ferris the Fierce.
CHAPTER LXII.—THE LUDION.
By the late Dr. Scoffern.
There is a toy more patronised by French boys than by English ones, though I have seen it here. The English name for this toy I do not know, but in France it is called the ‘Ludion.’ Being easily made, and instructive when made, you shall have a picture of the ludion and instructions for making.
Provide yourself with a toilet water-decanter and take care that it has a good wide mouth, the wider in fact the better. Next purchase one of those toy porcelain figures which girls sometimes dress up as miniature dolls, and see that the decanter’s mouth is big enough to admit the figure passing readily through; finally, select a walnut, also not too big for easy entrance into the bottle, and now you may set about making your ludion.
First split the walnut into halves with a knife, taking care you do not impart ragged edges to the two sides of the shell, then scoop out the nut and eat it, and having done so cement the two half-shells together—sealing-wax will do, but shellac is better, and marine glue (a compound of shellac with india-rubber) is best of all. Marine glue can be purchased of tool-makers and others, and it is to be used exactly like sealing-wax, not dissolved in water like ordinary glue. When the two sides of your walnut have cooled and set, you must bore a hole about the diameter of a pigeon’s quill at one end.
All this being done, pass a loop of fine wire lengthwise over the walnut-shell, taking care that the hole you have bored shall face downwards. From the loop you see that a straight length of wire passes downwards and is then attached to the head of the little figure. The easiest way to effect this attachment is by passing a small loop of the wire round the little man’s neck.
The smaller the wire is you use, by so much the more invisible will it be, and therefore the prettier. If you can get hold of a wire-covered fiddle or guitar string, and from it strip away a suitable length of wire, nothing can be better.
From the neck-loop a straight length of the same wire descends, as you see represented in the picture, and ends by attachment to what our artist has depicted as a leaden bullet, but a weight of any other shape would have done as well, and I should advise you to use a piece of sheet-lead as affording easier means of attachment than does a bullet.
I have said nothing yet about one little matter you will have to see to—namely, some means of steadying and preventing from slipping the loop which passes round the shell lengthwise. This may be effected by sealing-wax, shellac, or marine glue; still, perhaps, better by passing a wire loop transversely round the walnut-shell, thus covering the wire of the first loop and obliging it to lie tight to the shell without shifting.
You had best now get a good large pail of water and regulate the weight of your little man and his belongings. The success of the manufacture altogether depends upon the care and accuracy with which this is done. Immerse the whole apparatus and see what happens. If it sink to the bottom of the pail, your leaden weight is too heavy, and you must cut away a portion—not too much, however, as that would destroy the balance you want to arrive at, and which is necessary to success. No rule other than what is called ‘rule of thumb’ can be set down for your guidance; but care, thought, and attention being given, you are sure to succeed at last.
When the proper weight has been attained, take your little man and his belongings out of the pail, and lower all in the water-bottle about two-thirds full of water, in which henceforth he is to dwell and perform his little gambols. Whether he can do so or not you will soon be in a position to see. Take a piece of thin sheet india-rubber and tie it over the decanter’s mouth, like a drumhead. If, on pressing the drumhead with a finger, your little man descends, bobbing up again when you remove the pressure, by this sign you shall know that the toy is complete. If otherwise, then it is proved that your weight is not heavy enough, so out your little man must come for emendation.
Now, how are you going to correct his balance? The most obvious way of doing so would be to attach a little more weight. That device would look ugly, however, and ugliness is to be avoided in a toy. Do you not see that putting a little water into the nutshell through the hole would effect the purpose? But how to get the water in is the problem; you cannot pour water in from a jug, or even a lipped glass. It might be done by using a syringe, but a far prettier, and at the same time more instructive device, is the one I will now show you. If you are an attentive young fellow, taking note of whatever has been once told you, the little instrument will come finished from your hands in ten minutes after your first setting about making it. If you are an inattentive fellow, I do not care about having anything to do with you. The little instrument about to be described must be made by a blow-pipe operation. This done, you will see how to make a good glass tool of this shape, and about this size:—
Over the mouth of it you are to stretch and lap with a piece of waxed string a thin film of sheet india-rubber. You want to get some liquid, water in our present case, into this apparatus. Well, dip the fine-drawn hollow spill into a vessel containing water, press the india-rubber drumhead with finger-tip, and air bubbles will come out. Remove the pressure, and water flows in. Removing now the immersed spill, water to any graduated amount can be injected into the walnut by pressure on the drumhead—and, what is more, taken out again if necessary. All this could be done by a syringe, but not so neatly or conveniently.
By exercising the necessary amount of care in adjustment, it would be quite possible to dispense with the leaden-weight attachment to your little man altogether. This is sometimes done, and when done the toy is all the prettier.
Of course, no long explanations are needed to explain the mode of action of the toy. Pressure on the drumhead transfers itself to the air volume inside the bottle; the compressed air in its turn presses upon the water. Now water, unlike air, is inelastic—it cannot be made to occupy smaller space by any force you could apply; so up goes a portion of water temporarily into the walnut-shell, only to come out again on removal of the pressure.
