Letters to Persons Who Are Engaged in Domestic Service

by Catharine Esther Beecher

A Story.

Once there was a very good king, and he had a large residence at some distance from his court. At this residence there was a large household of servants, whose business it was to keep it in constant readiness, so that whenever the king wished, he could go there and find every thing in order.

Now these servants were very apt to be

careless and negligent of their business, and often became so engrossed in their own amusements, that they forgot entirely the business they were placed there to do. In consequence of this, the king used often to send messengers to them, who would strive to keep them in order, and who wrote down in a book the rules that should guide them in the performance of every duty. But there still continued great havoc, waste and misrule. At last the only son of the king, who was a very tender-hearted prince, and loved these servants very much, came among them; for he feared that unless something was done, when his father arrived, they would all be turned away, and become miserably poor and wretched. So this excellent prince came and staid a long time with these servants; he worked with them himself, and showed them by his own example, the right way of doing every thing; and then he wrote down the rules in a book, and placed it so that every one could go to it and learn their duties.

But it was not a long time after the prince returned to his father’s court, before all the servants

were divided up into parties about the proper way of doing the work. All agreed that the prince told them that his father would soon come, that he would come suddenly and unexpectedly—and that it was his will that every part of the house should be cleansed, and every thing put in order. There was no dispute about this.

But the parties were divided in this manner: A large portion of them maintained that the most important thing to be done was to have the water for cleaning house kept very hot, and that it must be hot all the time—and so they spent most of their time in getting fuel and blowing the fire—and they would sit up sometimes half the night to make fires and keep the water hot. And they considered themselves as the best servants in the house for their care and diligence in this respect, and upbraided their companions for allowing so much coldness to get in the water they were to use.

Then there was another portion that were very much excited about the manner in which the water was to be used.

They seemed to think it was indispensable

that it should be poured on all over the floor, so as to cover every part of it, before commencing the use of the mop or floor cloth. They insisted on it that this was the way the prince directed them to use it—that he had it put on in this manner himself, and that, in the book of directions, he was very exact in stating that it must be used thus. And they insisted upon it, as one of the most important of all their duties, that the water should be used in this particular way, so that their thoughts and efforts were much taken up with this matter.

Then there was another party, and they thought that it was of the greatest consequence that the servants should understand who were to be their overseers to direct in the way the work was to be done. They maintained that the young prince had expressly directed who should be overseers and who should not, so that even if a man was well qualified to direct, and his fellow servants were willing to be directed by him, it would not do to go on so. And they spent a great deal of time and labour and feeling, in arguing with their fellow-servants to try to convince them that most of the

overseers were not put in their place in the proper way, and did not direct others in the proper manner.

Then there was another large party, who insisted that it was indispensable, that their fellow servants should believe every thing that was written in the Book of Directions, exactly according as they understood them. They maintained that if men did not believe right they never could work right. They were sure that they themselves did understand and believe the Book of Directions, just as the prince intended, and they spent a great deal of time in arguing and contending about what was to be believed. And they insisted, that before any man went to work in their part of the house he should declare what his belief was, and how he understood the meaning of the directions in the book.

Now all these things no doubt were important. It certainly was needful to have the water hot, and it was desirable that it should be put on the floors in the way directed by the prince, and it was important that the proper overseers should direct the rest, and that they

should do it in the proper way, and it was very important that the Book of Directions should be understood and believed, in the sense intended by the young prince.

But the difficulty was, that they became so much engrossed about the particular points where they differed, that they were in danger of forgetting the great thing about which they all agreed, viz. the cleaning of the house. And some of them got into such contentions about these matters, that instead of cleaning the house, they really made it more disorderly and unclean.

But there was a considerable number in all these parties, who looked at these things more wisely. And they managed matters in this way. They concluded, that as it was needful to have the water hot, they would not hinder those who were heating it, but get all the warm water they could from them, or from any one else, and go to cleaning the house with it. They concluded that as they could not all agree as to the proper way of putting on the water, that each should put it on in the way he believed the prince had taught, and not quarrel

with the rest, who thought another way was right. They thought it was important to have the right overseers, and to have them direct the rest in a proper manner, but as they could not bring this about, they concluded to go to any place where they could do the most work, and put themselves under the overseer who was there, and do as well as they could.

They also concluded, that though it was exceedingly important that all should understand and believe the directions written in the Book, yet as all did not agree in every thing, it was best to join together in the point where they all did agree, viz. in cleaning the house. And they comforted themselves in thinking of the promise of the young prince, “If any man will do his will he shall know of the doctrine.” So they concluded that the best way to satisfy their own minds and to convince others of the proper way of doing the work was, to do it so diligently, so orderly, and so well, that others would be convinced “by seeing their good works,” and so would follow their example.

And it was these servants who really cleaned the house, and, so far as they could do it,

had every thing in readiness. And when their Lord and King arrived, they met him without fear, while he blessed them with a benignant smile, and said unto them, “Well done, good and faithful servants, enter ye into the joy of your Lord.”

Now, my friends, this story illustrates what I wish to explain to you, about religion and religious meetings.

We are placed in this world to form a character like that of God, to become holy as he is holy, for this is the only way to be happy. Jesus Christ is “God manifest in the flesh,” and “in him dwelleth all the fulness of the Godhead bodily,” and one great object he had in coming into this world was, to show us what the character of God is, that we may know how to become like him.—And while here, he set us an example of the way in which we are to “cleanse our hearts” from all evil, so that he and his Father can come and make their abode with us. He did every thing which we shall be called to do, as a perfect example for us, and when he returned to his Father’s court, he left a Book of Instructions for us all

to use, that we may learn how to cleanse our hearts and lives from all sin.

Now, we find that there are many parties among the servants of Christ, that differ a great deal about the best way of doing this great work. Some think it is very important to have a great many meetings, and to read and pray and sing a great deal, in order to keep our feelings warm, and this they think is more important than any thing else.

Others think it is very important that we should be baptized in the proper manner, and at the proper time. Others think it very important, that those who are rulers and overseers in the church, should be ordained in the proper manner, and that they should direct their people aright, as to the forms and rites of the church.

Others think it very important to believe in the right doctrines of religion, and that it is best to take great care, not to have any belong to their particular church, who do not believe the doctrines of the Bible as they do.

But they all agree, that the great work to be done, after all, is to cleanse the heart and life,

by following the example of our Lord Jesus Christ.—He taught us to live not for ourselves but for Him—and to make it (as he did) our meat and drink to do the will of our Father in heaven. He taught us to deny ourselves daily, by restraining all harmful passions and desires, and, as he did, to go about doing good, in the humblest sphere in which we may be placed. Now, there is no dispute at all about this great duty. And all agree, that the things they differ about, are of no importance, except as they tend to promote a conformity of heart and life to the character and example of Christ. Those who spend the most time in religious exercises and meetings, consider that it is important to do so, only because it tends to make them more like Christ—and those who think so much of baptism, and ordination, and of believing the true doctrines, suppose that these things are important, only because they will lead us to become like Christ. There is not any minister of any denomination, who, if you ask him about these things, will not tell you, that I am right in all I have said about this matter. Now, if this is true, then we have a rule for judging how

much it is proper to go to meetings and to attend to religious exercises.

We go to such meetings, and attend such exercises, to warm our feelings and excite our minds, in order that we may do all our duties better. There is no merit in reading and singing and hearing, nor is there any use in great enjoyment or great feeling, unless these things tend to make us more gentle, meek, humble, faithful and diligent in our duties to God and men. And if we are baptized in the right way, and have the right ministers, and the right services, and the right doctrines preached, it is all of no value to us, unless we improve them so as to become more and more like Christ. Remember, then, that your object in reading and praying and in going to meetings should be, that you may become more faithful, kind, obliging, industrious, and exemplary in all respects.

I fear a great many people pray, and read the Bible, and go to meetings and try to get up a great deal of feeling, and think that this is being religious. But this is no more being religious than heating water is cleaning a house.

It is only a course of means appointed by God to enable us to accomplish the great object of life; which is to form such a character as prepares us for Heaven; or in other words, to become like Jesus Christ.

I would advise you, therefore, when you are deciding whether you shall go to a meeting, and how long you shall stay, to inquire, Will this best prepare me to be patient, long-suffering, meek, industrious and faithful in all my duties?

And if you think, that by going, you shall run the risk of injuring your health, and so of lessening your usefulness, or that you shall stay so late as to be tired and sleepy next morning, or unfitted in any way to perform your duties well, I pray you not to go. And if you think that religious privileges do not tend to make you more and more like Christ, I beseech you remember the dreadful condemnation of those who are exalted by privileges even to Heaven, only to be thrust down to Hell.

Now I hope you will not misunderstand what I have said. I do not say that you or any body else go to meetings too much, or think

too much of religious teachings, singing and prayer. I am afraid that most of us do not value these blessed means enough. But I am afraid that there are many of you who look upon these things as religion, when in reality they are nothing but the means God has appointed, in order to lead us to become religious. A true Christian, a really converted person, is one who is making it the chief interest and aim of life to become like Christ, and all these religious means are of no use, except so far as they tend to produce conformity of heart and life to the precepts and example of Christ.

If this be the case, then persons who go to meetings to meet companions, or to while away time, or to get their feelings wrought up to a high state, and do not use their religious privileges as means to make them more humble, submissive, gentle, kind, industrious and faithful in every duty, are making their blessings a curse.

And when you take time from your ordinary employments, or time from the hours usually given to sleep, I hope you will always ask yourselves this question: “Am I going to this meeting

in order that I may come home and be more and more like Jesus Christ?” And if you do not find that this is your reason for going, beware lest the awful condemnation that awaits those who abuse and pervert religious privileges, fall upon your guilty head.

And here I would add, that no rule can be given as to how much we ought to attend religious exercises. Some persons are reflective, and serious, and remember and feel what they hear a great while. Others are light, trifling and forgetful, and very soon lose any serious impressions. The first class do not need such frequent instructions and opportunities as the last class. And every person must judge for herself, how much time and attention is needful for her to give to religious duties, and not be censorious on others, who think it best for them to take another course.

---

LETTER XI.
ON HEALTH.

Importance of health to domestics. Modes by which they injure health.

My Friends:

Much of the ill health among persons in your employment is entirely needless. You have employments, usually, that tend to strengthen the constitution and maintain firm health, and as a class you have far more health and strength than those who do not labour.

Now, good health is the greatest of all blessings, for without it, no matter how many other blessings we have, we cannot enjoy life. Many and many a woman in this land, who has wealth, and ease, and education, and friends, and every thing that wealth can purchase, goes about gloomy and sick at heart, because disease has spread its dark shroud over all the enjoyments of life.

But it is a far greater misfortune to persons in your situation to lose health, than to

persons who have wealth and a comfortable home.

When you are sick, you have no parents or family friends around you, to nurse and sympathize; you know that the family you live in have not only lost your services, but are obliged to wait upon you, and you feel that you are a burden. You may have no home to go to, or your home may be so comfortless that you had rather stay among strangers; your wages stop, and if you have any little earnings laid up, they must go to pay for medicines and a physician.

All these things make it of the utmost consequence, that you take good care of your health. And yet, I am sorry to say, that I know of no class of persons who seem to be so careless and imprudent in regard to health. We see domestics go out from the wash-tub in a profuse perspiration, to stand in the wind and hang out wet clothes, and that too, without any thing on the head, or any shawl or cloak on. We see them go out in leaky shoes and wet their feet, and then sit a whole evening in

company, or a meeting, with their feet wet and cold.

We see them sleeping in close chambers, or sitting hour after hour in crowded rooms for religious worship, breathing an atmosphere that is absolutely poisonous, without knowing that they are thus injuring their health. And there are many other ways in which they are wearing down their constitutions, without being aware of it.

I do not think I can possibly make you feel the importance of the advice I am about to offer, without your understanding more than you do, about the construction of your own bodies. And I wish I could get you to read a few chapters in a book I have written called “Domestic Economy,” in which I have described how the interior of your bodies is formed, and drawn pictures to explain what I say, so that I think you could easily understand the matter. And if you ever come across that work, I hope you will read the Chapter on the Care of Health, and the five or six chapters that follow it.

But I will here tell you some things, which I think you can understand without any pictures.

You know that we take food and drink into our stomach to support and continue life. Now this food is changed into a soft mass in the stomach, and then passes through long winding intestines, that are folded up below the stomach. As it passes through these intestines, there are multitudes of little hollow tubes, small as hairs, that pump out the nourishment and carry it to a particular blood-vessel, when it is emptied into the heart, and mixes with the blood. This is the way the blood is constantly renewed. Now it is the blood that thus conveys strength and nourishment to every part of the body. There is no part of the body, within or without, that has not a vast many small blood-vessels, running in every direction, that carry the blood to nourish all parts. But there are more blood-vessels in the skin than anywhere else, so that the quantity of blood in our skin is greater than all that is to be found, in all the rest of the body put together. All the matter received from our food which is nourishing and

useful, is taken up by the different parts of the body, and the rest is thrown out by the lungs, the bowels, the bladder and the skin. When we draw air into our lungs, the noxious and useless portions of the blood in the lungs, combine with it, and are then sent out of our lungs. The bowels and bladder also, eject a portion of useless matter from the body. But the chief labour of relieving the body from useless matter in the blood, is done by the skin.

If you could look at the skin through a microscope, you would see the little mouths of the blood-vessels all over the skin, which are constantly pouring out this useless matter from the blood. If, in a warm day, you bring a cool mirror near your skin, yet not so as to touch it, you will see a thin dew, or vapour, settle on the mirror. This is the invisible exhalation, which is constantly coming out from the mouths of the small blood-vessels, all over the skin. Experiments have often been made, to find out how much matter is thus thrown out of the body by the skin, and it is found that in a grown person, it is never less than a pound and a quarter in twenty-four hours, and most men that have

experimented say that it is much more. But all agree, that the skin throws out more of the useless and noxious matter from the body, than the lungs, bladder and bowels all together.

You can now understand the evil done by sitting with wet feet, or going into cold and damp air without proper covering. Cold always operates to make the skin shrink up, and the little mouths of the blood-vessels are thus closed, so that the skin cannot perform its office properly. In consequence of this, the blood is not relieved of its noxious matter. The effect of this, is sometimes one thing, and sometimes another. Sometimes, stopping the action of the skin produces a fever, and then the body is tormented with restlessness, pain and heat. Sometimes, when the skin stops its labours, the other organs try to do double duty, to relieve the body. In this case, either the bowels or bladder become affected and discharge profusely, or the lungs accumulate a great quantity of this useless matter, which is coughed up in the form of phlegm. Sometimes the head and throat are affected, and water runs from the eyes and nose, while the lungs also cough up phlegm.

What is commonly called a cold in the head, or a cold on the lungs, is caused by the shutting up of the blood-vessels of the skin by cold, so that the lungs, eyes, and head are obliged to perform a part of the offices that the skin ordinarily performs.

Now when a person is labouring by a fire, or at washing or ironing, the blood is made to circulate much faster, and the noxious matter is thrown out more abundantly. At such times the matter thrown out by the skin becomes visible in the form of drops of sweat. Of course the more of this matter is to be thrown out by the skin, the more dangerous it is to have the openings of the skin shrunk up by cold. Therefore, it is very important for persons who labour, to take very great care not to allow themselves to be chilled when in a state of perspiration. Wetting the feet often produces the same effect on the body, as chilling the skin in a perspiration. You understand now, why it is that I earnestly entreat you, never to go out and stand in the cold, when you are in a perspiration, and always to be careful to dress warm whenever you go out doors for any

purpose, and never to sit with damp feet. One single act of carelessness in these respects, may bring on a fever, or a bowel complaint, or an affection of the lungs, or liver, or eyes, or head, that may lay you up for months, or even end your life. What I have told you about the construction of the skin, shows the importance of another piece of advice I would give you. Do you know, that we are almost the only well informed nation in the world, that do not frequently wash the body all over? There were some nations in old times, that knew that this was so important to health and comfort, that they always had public baths made, so that rich and poor might bathe every day without expense. And in many countries, the best informed people would not think of going two days without washing the whole of their bodies, any more than you would think of going so long, without washing your face and hands. And the reason of this is, that the skin is interrupted in its duties by any accumulation of matter upon it. The little mouths of the blood-vessels must be kept open and free, or they cannot fully perform their offices. Now, as the

skin throws out at least a pound and a half a day, of this useless and noxious matter, where the clothing comes tight to the skin, it cannot all pass off freely, and a part is deposited on the skin. This ought to be washed off every day, or else the skin has its pores to some extent filled up, and its duties are impeded. In consequence of this, humours on the skin, or in the eyes, or some affection of the head, or lungs, or liver, or bowels, or some other part of the body, often ensue. Some people have such strong constitutions, that they can bear to go all their lives, and never wash their bodies properly, and yet never seem to experience any injury, but there is no doubt that many are suffering painful and troublesome affections, that never would have come upon them, if they had taken proper care of their skin. For this reason I advise you to keep a bowl and pitcher of water in your room, and to sponge your body all over when you go to bed, either in lukewarm or cold water. It will not take you more than ten minutes, and it may save you from much trouble.

I have told you, that the lungs also are

employed to help purify the blood. It is done in this way. The air we breathe is made so, that when it comes into the lungs, it combines with the noxious portions of the blood in the lungs, and then is returned again, when we breathe out the air. If, therefore, a person is shut up in a small, close room for a long time, the air of the room, after a while, is filled with this injurious matter which is sent out of the lungs. In this state it is unfit to breathe. Breathing it sometimes produces drowsiness, weakness, stupidity of feelings, and sometimes sickness at the stomach, or fainting. Indeed, there is no suffering so horrible as that produced by breathing air, which is entirely made of air breathed from the lungs. To illustrate this, I will mention a case of some gentlemen, who were once shut up by a cruel tyrant in a very small room, with a very little window in it. There were so many that they had not room to lie down or even sit, and in a few hours, so many breaths had filled the room entirely, with this noxious vapor. The distress thus produced was horrible. They groaned and screamed for mercy to the guard of soldiers. They begged them to shoot them and

put an end to their torments. At length they began to fight, to get at the only opening there was for air, and struggled and fought for breath, and tried to strangle each other, till all were dead except the few, who could get their faces near the window; and these in the morning had not strength to stand, and looked more like corpses than like living men.

There is nothing, then, more pernicious to health, than sitting, or sleeping in rooms where the air is loaded with the air breathed out of the lungs. For this reason, I advise you never to go to bed, till you have secured a good supply of pure air. Open your door into an entry, or make a crack in your window, or contrive some other way to keep pure air in your room. If you have an open fire-place, this is sufficient, as then, the fresh air falls down the chimney from out doors. But if you have a close stove in your room, or have a room with no fire-place, be sure always to have your door open, or a small opening in your window. If you do not take this precaution, though you may not feel the evil, because it is so slow and gradual, you may be sure that your constitution is

gradually growing weaker, so that diseases will more easily be induced, and thus that your life will be shortened. One other thing about the lungs. Any person who wears clothing so tight, that they cannot expand the chest as easily as they can when undressed, is doing the same sort of mischief. When the waist is constrained by tight clothing, some parts of the lungs are so impeded and compressed, that the air cannot enter the air vessels. The consequence is, the blood is not properly purified, and often, from this cause, ulcers form in the lungs. Tight dressing is one of the most frequent causes of consumption and dyspepsia, for dyspepsia is often brought on by such tightness of dress, that the stomach and the other organs around it, are impeded in their duties.

It is very important for health, that persons who labour should have enough sleep, and it is also important that they do not sleep too much. If they do not sleep enough, the strength and health slowly decay, and if they sleep too much, the same effect is produced. Seven or eight hours, is the amount of sleep that is needed

by persons who labour, and none ought to sleep more than eight hours, unless they are sick.

If you will take care of your teeth, by washing them with fair water and a brush, when you go to bed and get up, you probably will save yourselves from teeth-ache, and from the early loss of teeth. Not that this care will always prevent these evils. A disordered stomach, or a weakness of the nerves, will often induce pain and decay, for which there is no prevention, or remedy. But your chances of keeping your teeth, and of escaping tooth-ache, are much increased by removing with a brush, every night and morning, the tartar which the spittle deposits on the teeth and gums, during the night and through the day. This tartar injures the gums, and tends to make the teeth decay.

There are some other causes of ill health that I will point out. One is, drinking strong tea or coffee. These drinks always stimulate the nervous system, in a way similar to the effects of intoxicating drinks, and though they are not so injurious or dangerous, yet, in many

cases, they produce weak nerves, indigestion, teeth-ache, head-ache, and various nervous complaints. If, then, you use these drinks, I advise you to use them very weak. In my youth I did not love them, but after I was twenty, I learned to love them quite strong, and did not love them weak. When I was convinced that they were injurious, I began to drink them very weak; and though at first they seemed very flat, I persevered, until I learned to love them weak, and now I do not love them strong. I mention this to show that our taste can be changed. I advise you therefore to try the experiment, and after you have drank them a month or two very weak, I think you will love them as well as you now love them strong. At any rate, you will escape the dangers that always attend the use of tea and coffee, as most persons drink them. And I believe that it is sinful to run any risk of injuring one’s health, for the sake of drinking what we love best, when another drink is just as good for us, and is far more safe.

In regard to eating, I believe a person in health, who labours all day, may eat almost any

thing with safety. But a person in delicate health, or with a disordered stomach, ought to be careful to notice what food produces uncomfortable feelings, and avoid it. For nothing wears down health faster, than to eat food that the stomach cannot digest, and when this occurs a warning is often given by unpleasant feelings after eating.

Eating too often, is a frequent cause of disease. This is done, because people do not know how hard the stomach has to work, after food is put into it. But if we could look within us at all that is going on, we should see, that as soon as any food is put into the stomach, its muscles are all set to work to move the food about and mix it with the gastric juice which is to dissolve it, so that the stomach actually is working as hard as the arms would work, in sweeping or in hammering at the anvil. Now the stomach needs to rest awhile, after its work, and therefore, four or five hours ought to elapse after eating, before any more food is put into the stomach. This gives time for the stomach to do up its work, and have a little time to rest. But a person, who is frequently putting food

into the stomach, keeps it at work all the time, and thus it becomes weak and disordered from over-working. For this reason, I advise you not to eat except at your regular meals.

If you have weak eyes, always shade them from the glare of the fire or candles in the evening, and never use them before breakfast either to read or sew. The eyes are weaker before breakfast than at any other time. The reason is, that they have been long shut up, so as to be unused to the light, and sleep always weakens the body to a certain extent, until a new supply of food gives the blood the nourishment it has lost, by the exhalations of the body during the night.

Taking food or drink very warm, is injurious to the teeth and stomach. If you should hold one of your fingers in hot water, half an hour, three times a day, you would find that it was very much weakened. The same effect is produced on the nerves of the mouth, teeth, and stomach, by the use of hot food and drinks. Pepper, mustard, and spices also tend to injure the health of the stomach, by stimulating it too much.

---

LETTER XII.
ON DRESS, MANNERS, AND LANGUAGE.

Dress should be conformed to means and to occupations. Rules of good manners.

My Friends:

I have shown you, in a former letter, that the chief reason why so much difference is made, between domestics and other members of the family, is their deficiencies in education, dress and manners. If domestics were universally well educated and well bred, and if they paid a proper attention to their dress and persons, then parents would feel that their example would be useful instead of injurious to children, while their presence would be agreeable and not offensive to visitors.

It is therefore very desirable, on your own account, and that you may raise the respectability of your station, (as well as on account of parents and children,) that you pay great attention to these particulars.

I will therefore point out some of those respects, in which you need to attend to your manners, in order to be a good example to children, and to be fitted to appear well in any society in which in after life you may appear.

Good manners are the outward expression of kindness and good will, by which we endeavour to promote the enjoyment of others, and to avoid all that gives needless pain. Good manners lead us to avoid every thing that offends the taste of others, and to regard all the rules of politeness and propriety. Good manners lead us to avoid all rude and coarse language or actions, and to refrain from all remarks that would trouble those about us in any way.

I will now point out some particulars. In the first place, there are rules of good manners in regard to our superiors in age, character, station or office, which demand attention. In addressing such, it is proper to speak in a respectful tone and manner, and to add “sir” and “ma’am” to “yes” and “no” when we reply to them. This should be done by young persons to older ones, by children to parents, by scholars to teachers, and by domestics to their

employers, and to visitors in the family. At the same time, it is proper to offer the best accommodations of all kinds to one who is thus to be treated as a superior.

Another rule of good manners is, to return thanks to any person who does us any kindness. It is deemed very ill bred to receive a present, or any little act of attention, without any manifestation of pleasure or gratitude.

Another rule is, never to use what belongs to another without asking leave, and never to ask questions about the business or dress, or concerns of other people, unless we are on intimate terms with them. Another rule of good breeding is, never to make remarks to others on their personal defects, or dress, or faults, and never to speak in such a way of their opinions, or their friends, as to vex or mortify them.

Always, when persons speak to you, look them in the face, and reply in a courteous manner. Never laugh or whisper in company so that others cannot hear, lest they may imagine that you are ridiculing them, or speaking against them. Loud laughing and

talking in company, and whispering, and smiling at church, are deemed rude and vulgar. Interrupting a person when talking, and flatly contradicting, are considered rude.

There are some personal tricks which should be avoided, as vulgar and offensive, such as fingering the hair, picking the teeth, or cleaning the nails, picking the nose, spitting on the floor, snuffing, instead of using the handkerchief, or using the handkerchief in a disgusting manner, fingering the shoes, throwing about the feet, lolling on chairs, tipping chairs backward, staring at people, calling persons by nicknames, running out bareheaded into the street, calling to persons in the street, running in the street, and eating in the street, or in a public assembly.

Another branch of good breeding relates to table manners. When at table, avoid all these things: reaching over the plates of others; standing up to reach articles; instead of asking to have them passed to you; using your own knife for butter or salt, when it is the custom of the family to use a butter knife and salt spoon; setting dripping cups on the table cloth

when cup mats, or plates, are provided; using the table cloth instead of your handkerchief; eating fast, and in a noisy manner; putting large pieces in the mouth; looking, and eating as if you were very hungry, or very anxious to get at certain dishes; sitting too far from the table, or too near to it; projecting your elbows when using the knife and fork; dropping food in your lap; laying the knife and fork on the table cloth, instead of on the bread, or your plate; putting your own knife or fork into the dishes, instead of asking to be helped; taking too large a share of some favourite article; making a noise in sipping tea, or eating soups; leaning on the table with your elbows; lolling back in your chair at table, and taking food with your own fork from the dishes, instead of asking to be helped.

---

In regard to dress, the great rule of propriety and good taste is, always to dress clean and tidy, and always to have your dress suited to your means, and your employment.

This is the rule that regulates persons of good sense and good taste, in all classes and

ranks. If a woman wears ever so elegant and expensive clothing, and yet her hair is in disorder and her dress untidy, every one feels that she is dressed in bad taste. If a woman has a small income, and yet appears in dresses and ornaments that are suitable only for persons of great wealth, every one pities or laughs at her for her want of taste and propriety.

If a woman puts on expensive and handsome dresses to work in, no matter how rich she is, every one feels that it looks vulgar and improper. There is nothing that more surely marks the well bred, well educated woman, than the style of her dress. If she has small means she will dress simply and economically, if she is very wealthy, she will wear rich and handsome clothing, but not tawdry finery or loads of ornaments. If she is doing work that soils clothing, she puts on dark and cheap articles, if she is going on a journey, she puts on a dress that dust will not injure, and leaves off all her ornaments. If she is going out in the cold and wet, she puts on stout and warm covering for her feet and person.

Now there is no point where domestics so

often show their want of good education and good taste, as in the choice of their dress. Every one knows that the income of a domestic is very small, and that they are daily employed in work that soils a dress. When, therefore, domestics appear in dresses suitable only for persons who have wealth, and employments that do not soil dresses, every one feels, that for want of a good education, they are deficient in good taste and a sense of propriety. The same opinion is formed of all persons who have small means, and who labour for a support, when they rig out in showy and expensive dresses.

A domestic who has good sense and good taste, will always dress neatly, plainly, and in materials suitable to the work she performs.

There are few things more annoying to visitors, or to the master and mistress of a family, than to have food served at table, by domestics whose hands, hair, and dress are untidy. I have repeatedly known the gentleman of the house whisper to his wife to send the person waiting on table out of the room, because he had rather wait on himself, than to have such a disgusting object before his eyes.

I would therefore earnestly recommend, that always before you come down in the morning, you put your hair in neat order, and that you so braid or tie it up, that it will not get out of order while you are at work. Also, that you take pains to have dark clothing for your work, and that it always be kept neat and tidy. It is a good plan, also, to keep a supply of large, clean aprons, to slip on when you cannot change your dress, and yet wish to go into the parlour.

And I pray you not to spend all your earnings in showy dresses, that, to all sensible people, make you appear foolish and ignorant of all propriety. It is far better to buy strong, and plain dresses, and lay up your earnings to buy furniture, if you ever become a housekeeper, or to support you in sickness, or old age, if you never marry. There are Savings Banks in almost all our cities, where you can lay up small earnings, and receive interest for them, so as to increase their value every year; and there is less risk in putting money into these banks, than in any other way, because their business is arranged for the purpose of making them safe.

There is another point, to which I would especially urge attention, and that is, to the improvement of your mind by reading, and when you can do so, by study.

The greatest disadvantages domestics have to meet, are caused by their want of a good education. It is owing to the want of such advantages, that they are so apt to be untidy in appearance, rude and disrespectful in manner, and vulgar in their pronunciation and language. Now, though you may be in such a situation that you cannot go to a school, yet if you will be diligent and economical in time and dress, you can do a great deal to improve your education. There are few families where there is not some lady, who would be willing to hear you read, or recite a lesson for half an hour every day, if you expressed a wish so to do. And you would also be provided with books to read and study, at little or no expense, if you appeared to be anxious to learn, and were faithful and diligent, in order to gain time.

And the more you read and study, the more your character, manners, and habits will be likely to improve. Some persons imagine that

a good education injures persons in your station, by making them proud and discontented. But this is a great mistake. The most faithful, diligent, agreeable, and respectable domestics I ever saw, were those who had the best education, while those who are ignorant, have not sense and information enough, to see the propriety of conforming to their situation and duties.

If this country were thrown into the situation in which the shipwrecked company were, and every one had to draw lots to decide who should be employers and who domestics, there would be some well educated and some very ignorant persons put together in the class of domestics. In this case I should much prefer to hire a well educated person, for I should expect that such a one would be far more likely to have respectful and courteous manners, and that she would conform to the duties of her lot with far more propriety than an ignorant and vulgar person.

I hope, therefore, that you will improve every opportunity you can gain to read and study, and I would advise you also to notice

how well educated persons pronounce, and try to acquire a similar way of speaking.

In selecting books to read, get some judicious friend to choose for you, and in studying, never be so foolish as to study French, or Latin, or try to play the piano, or any such accomplishment, which is suitable only for persons who have wealth and leisure.

By following this advice about your manners, dress and language, and by faithfully endeavouring to perform all your duties to God and your fellow creatures, you will find, that every day, you will gain in the esteem and good will of all around you, and that few will be found with that silly pride which will make them shun your society because you are a domestic. On the contrary, your employers and their children, will love and respect you, and be pleased to procure for you all the comforts and advantages they can secure, consistently with the convenience and prosperity of the family.

---

LETTER XIII.

Trials of domestics and remedy for these trials. Fault-finding. Want of comforts and conveniences, &c.

My Friends:

Every situation in life has its peculiar trials, and it is wise beforehand, to understand what our trials must be, and what is the best way of meeting them. God did not put us into this world to find enjoyment by gratifying all our desires, but he intended that we should form such a character, as will enable us to feel happy in giving up our will and wishes to him and to others, whenever it is needful.

Those, therefore, are not the most fortunate, who have the fewest trials to meet, but those rather, who best learn to be patient and cheerful, whatever may be their lot, or the trials which it involves. Many are apt to suppose, that when people have beautiful houses, and fine clothes, and a plenty of money, and opportunities to read, and visit, and see the

world, that they must be happy. But the most miserable persons I have known, were persons who had all these things; while some of the happiest persons I ever saw, were those whom the world call poor, and who had none of these advantages.

The rich have as many wishes and wants ungratified as the poor, for the more they get the more they want. At the same time, as they often have nothing to do but to amuse and gratify themselves, they are not so likely to form those habits of self-denial, patience, and benevolence, which are the true source of enjoyment. This is the reason why the Saviour says, “How hardly shall they that have riches, enter the kingdom of Heaven.” The kingdom of Heaven consists, not in meat and drink and costly raiment, nor in any earthly goods, but in “righteousness and peace.” And this righteousness and peace are much more easily found in humble life, than among the rich, the proud and the gay. It is true that it is a blessing to be rich, if we only use riches in the proper way. But riches bring such temptations, that few have strength and wisdom sufficient

to stand, so that it is often that riches are a curse rather than a blessing.

Why is it so common to see the children of rich parents growing poor and vicious, while the children of the poor grow up industrious, virtuous and rich? It is because the children of the rich are brought up in ease and indulgence, while the children of the poor are brought up to industry and self-denial. If any person will count up the rich men in our country, he will find, that not one in ten had rich parents. And then if he will look at the descendants of rich families he will find, that probably more than half are very poor, and a great many are miserable vagabonds in society.

I mention these things to lead you to realize, that your happiness in this life consists not in being rich, or well dressed, or in any outward advantage, but rather in such a character as enables you to meet the duties and trials of your lot with patient cheerfulness, and faithful diligence.

I will now mention some of the trials which domestics are most frequently called to endure, and point out the proper way of meeting them.

One of the greatest and most frequent trials of domestics is, the fault-finding to which they are constantly exposed. Now, whether a person deserves to be blamed or not, this is a great trial to the patience. If we are to blame, we not only are pained to see the mischief we have done, but we are pained to be reproached by others, and at the same time to feel that it is indeed our own fault, and that we deserve it. If we are not to blame, it seems very hard to be upbraided, but in many cases this is not half so hard to bear, as to be blamed when we know we deserve it.

Now there are two dangers to which we are exposed from this cause. If we live with a person who finds fault a great deal, the first danger is, that we shall grow sullen, or irritable, and then show a bad temper, by disrespectful and angry words and deportment. The other danger is, that we shall become so used to it as not to care any thing about it. I have seen the children and domestics of women who find fault a great deal, look and act as if they did not care one cent about what was said to them, and sometimes they look as if they were

more amused than pained at the anger and impatience displayed by those who rule over them.

Now, it is our duty, if we really have by forgetfulness, or ignorance, neglected or illy performed our duty, not only to be sorry, but to show those whom we have thus troubled, that we feel sorry. Nothing so soon ends such troubles, as for the person who has done wrong to appear as if she was really sorry for it. Whenever therefore you have your mistakes or faults pointed out, do not seek to justify yourself, and do not, if possible, show any anger. If you feel irritated, do not speak till you can speak without anger, and then say, “I am sorry,” or something else of the kind, that shows regret on your part for the trouble you have caused. After you have said this, then is the proper time to tell your excuses. If you begin to justify or excuse before you have expressed any regret, in nine cases out of ten, it does more harm than good. Another thing will very much aid you in bearing this evil, and that is, trying to imagine yourself in the situation of the one you have displeased, and thinking

whether you should do any differently yourself. How do you behave when you depend on some child or companion to do something, and by ignorance or carelessness the thing is left undone or is spoilt? Do you shut up your mouth and utter not a word of complaint, or fault-finding? Try for one week to go without finding fault with any body, or any thing that crosses your plans or wishes, and see how hard it is to refrain!

Now a housekeeper is constantly having things done wrong, or not done at all, which she feels anxious to have accomplished properly, and it is one of the most difficult duties in the world to bear silently and patiently all these vexations and disappointments. You should therefore try to feel kindly for these troubles of your employer, and when you see her patience fails, think how many cares and perplexities she meets, and how difficult you would find it, if you were in her place, to bear them patiently.

There is another thing you must consider, and that is, that many women think it is their duty always to tell the persons whom they employ

whenever they do wrong, and they do not suppose that it is wrong to show anger and impatience at such trials. At least, they talk as if it was right for them to manifest anger and impatience, if there is just cause for displeasure.

Very few persons are aware how much better it is not to speak at all, when they are angry, and how much more good it does to talk with children and domestics about their faults or mistakes, in a kind way, when neither side feels out of humour. There are a great many women who would be more considerate and careful in this matter, if they only supposed it was their duty so to do. And here you should inquire of yourselves too, “Do I feel it to be a duty not to complain, or find fault when I feel angry? Can I command my temper and tongue so as not to reply in angry and disrespectful tones when others blame me? Do I set a guard on my lips, that I sin not with my tongue? Do I every day pray to God to enable me to be patient at the faults of others, and meek in receiving rebuke for my own? Do I, when I have sinned by angry tones and

language, confess my sin to Christ, and ask for his strength to enable me to follow his example of meekness and patience?” Let any of us try ourselves with these questions, and we shall be much more meek and patient, when hearing the complaints or upbraidings of those whom we have troubled.

There is another method, which, in many cases, will be of great service. Many amiable and excellent women, really do not know how much they do find fault, nor how severe and unpleasant are their tones and manner. If, therefore, you find yourself very much tried in this way, seek some opportunity of conversing with your employer, when both feel kindly to each other. And then, in a respectful manner tell her, that if she will not find fault quite so often, or will tell your faults to you, at times when neither you or she feel disturbed in mind, that it will be a great deal pleasanter to you to serve her, and that you shall be much more likely to try to do your duties well. Such a measure as this, will be far better than to speak out your mind at times when she is reproving you, when both feel angry or impatient. I think a

time will come, when both parents and employers will feel it to be a duty to refrain from finding fault when they are angry, and make it an object to wait, until by calm reflection they can say the most judicious things in the most judicious manner. And if you wish to have this period arrive, remember you can do something towards hastening it, by trying to form such a habit yourself. And then, if you ever become the employer of a domestic, you will be prepared for this most important part of your duty.

Another trial, to which domestics are exposed, is a neglect of their comfort and convenience by their employers.

Sometimes domestics have not comfortable rooms and beds; sometimes, the proper conveniences for work are not provided; sometimes they have so much required that they have not time for rest, and for taking care of their clothes; sometimes they are obliged to leave their meals before they have done, to wait on the family; sometimes the children of the family vex and incommode them; sometimes they are treated harshly and rudely; sometimes the mistress of

the family does not know how to plan work, and more is exacted than they can perform, or needless trouble and work are caused. Now there are two ways of preventing these evils, to a certain extent. One is, by making proper terms with an employer beforehand. It is a good plan for a domestic, always to inquire of an employer, before she agrees to come, respecting all these matters. It is always proper, to inquire about the conveniences in the kitchen, and to ask how much time you probably can have to do your own sewing, and whether you shall be allowed to sit undisturbed at your meals, and whether you shall be allowed to send the children out of the kitchen when they trouble you, and finally, to find out as much as you can beforehand, as to the kind of work that will be expected. Let these things all be talked over and understood beforehand, and many occasions for hard feeling and discontent will be saved on both sides.

After you come into a family, you will, in most cases, find some inconveniences and annoyances that you did not expect. In such cases, do not be angry or out of patience, but

bear them quietly, till you have a good chance to talk with your employer about them. Then simply state the trouble you experience, and if it can be remedied consistently, she probably will do it, and if it cannot, then make up your mind to bear it patiently and good humouredly. I have seen domestics go on, day after day, complaining and fretting about troubles, that often would be entirely removed, if they would go, in a pleasant and respectful way, to their employers and state their wishes. It is always best to take it for granted, that your employers are kind and reasonable people, for if they are not, it is the surest way to lead them to become so.

A keeper of a prison once asked a man who had been removed from his care to another prison, what the reason was that he behaved so much better with his new keeper. His reply was, “He treats me like a man, and so I behave like a man; but you treated me like a dog, and so I behaved like a dog.”

Now this prisoner was a fair picture of us all in this respect. If people treat us as if they think that we wish and intend to do all that

is generous and right, it is a strong influence to lead us to do so. But if we are treated as if it was expected that we should act unreasonably and wrong, it is a strong temptation to lead us to do so. And this anecdote contains a very important truth, that it would be wise for domestics, as well as employers, to bear in mind.

There is another trial that domestics often feel, which I have before alluded to. It is the fact that they are called “servants,” and are liable to be treated with disrespect or contempt, by persons who fancy themselves a little above them in rank. But my friends, this is a trouble which all classes have to experience, and some almost or quite as much as you. The mechanic’s daughter, or the sempstress, may call you servants, and feel above you, but some rich men’s daughters call them “only mechanics’ daughters,” or “only sempstresses,” and feel as much above them. And these rich men’s daughters find persons who will call them “vulgar rich folks,” and feel very much above them, because they themselves have some advantages of family or education, that those they look down upon do not possess. We find that it is

common to call persons who have wealth and education, “ladies,” and persons who have no education, and labour for a support, “women.” And if a person who considered herself among the first, should hear a person say, “there is a woman in the parlour,” instead of saying, “there is a lady in the parlour,” she would in some cases feel offended. What is the reason of this? She is a woman, why is she not pleased to be called so? Why simply because persons whom she regards as below herself are so called. Now this is exactly the case with you. You do not like to be called by the same name as is given to slaves in this land, and to the degraded servants of other countries. And it is probable every body would have something of this feeling, and therefore every well-bred person, who knew, that this name of servant was disagreeable to you, would not use it, unless from long habit it was difficult to remember to call you by another name. But you must not allow yourselves to be offended because people do not always know your feelings on this point, or do not always remember to regard your wishes.

Try to be polite yourselves to the poor Africans whom you regard as below you, and then you will find that you sometimes fail in this duty yourselves, and will learn not to judge so severely of those who fail towards you. True politeness and good breeding will lead every body to avoid whatever needlessly troubles others, however humble in life.

On this point I have felt some perplexity myself. Probably if I were in your place, I might not wish to be called a servant, just as many persons I associate with, choose to be called “ladies” instead of “women.”

As we must have some name to give to persons in your station, I have inquired what one is suitable. Now I cannot tell what would be agreeable to you all. But I know what I should like myself. The word domus signifies home, which is one of the dearest and pleasantest words in the world.

The word “domestic,” is made from this word domus, and it signifies, one employed in doing the work at home, and therefore it has a very pleasant idea connected with it. I cannot find any word in the dictionary to use for

this purpose, that I should like so much myself, and therefore I have used the word in writing to you. But if there was any other that I thought you would like better, I certainly would use it.

But remember, my friends, that Jesus Christ, the Lord of Glory, “took upon him the form of a servant,” and he it was that washed his disciples’ feet, to show them that they must not feel above doing the humblest of all duties. And the word “minister,” means the same as “servant,” and this was the name taken by the Apostles of Christ.

And we shall never be fully prepared for Heaven, till we have that humble spirit, which can be contented to see others raised above us, and to take whatever name and place belongs to us. The Bible teaches, that even in Heaven, there are different grades of intellect and greatness, and this is the time of probation, when we are to learn that submissive and humble spirit, which will prepare us to go to a world, where forever, there must be many far above us in knowledge, honour and power. Do not therefore indulge such feelings of pride about the

name, and duties of your station, but honour yourselves by walking in the footsteps of Jesus Christ.

In regard to all the trials that are to be met in your situation in life, it is wisest to look at the matter in this light. There is no situation where you can go, in which you will not find some disagreeable things to try your patience, and tempt you to complain and be discontented. Therefore, it is best to make up your mind, that you will first do all you can to remedy what troubles you meet, and after that, determine to be quiet and content with your lot.

It is very unwise to be roving from one family to another. It is very much for your interest to stay in one place and become interested in the family, and to make them all feel that you are a steady, and tried, and faithful friend. I know many domestics, who have become so much attached to the family where they have long lived, that no money would tempt them to leave. They seem to feel that all that interests the family belongs to them. They share the joys, the sorrows, and the hopes of the family, and are loved and trusted by all, as

kind and faithful friends, while every thing reasonable is done to make them comfortable and contented.

And I would advise every domestic to seek a place where she will be willing to stay for life, if she does not get a home of her own. And when she has found such a place, she should try, by her faithful services, and affectionate kindness, to make herself so necessary to the comfort of the family, that they will all feel that they cannot part with her, and will do all in their power to make her comfortable and happy.

There is one word of advice I would offer to domestics who do change their places, and that is, never to retail the private concerns of the family they leave. A great deal of trouble and ill will in society, is made by the scandal that is propagated by domestics, who go from one family to another. This ought not so to be. We have no right to talk about the faults of other persons, unless we can do some good by it. This the golden rule forbids; for we know we should not be willing to have our faults retailed about and talked over to strangers, and

what we are not willing to have done to us, we should not do to others.

I beseech you, therefore, to make it a rule never to retail the faults of those with whom you have lived. And if you find persons questioning you, to find out matters relating to the family in which you have worked, just tell them that you do not think it is right to speak of the faults of those with whom you have lived. Do this, and every body will respect you for your sense of propriety, and feel reproved if they have tempted you, by questions, to so ungenerous and wrong a course. The only case when it would be right to tell the faults of those you have lived with, is when a person comes to you for information and advice about going to live in that place. In this case, it would be proper to let them know both the good and the evil of the situation they inquire about.

There is one frequent cause of difficulty between employers and domestics, that ought to be taken care of, when first making an agreement. Employers always wish to hire the time of domestics, instead of hiring them to do some particular parts of family work.—But some

domestics feel that they are hired to do some particular part of the work, and when this is done, that their time is their own. Now this matter ought to be understood beforehand, for all employers would prefer to hire the time, even if they have to pay more wages. It is a great inconvenience to have domestics who feel that their time is their own, except when they are doing certain jobs they agreed to do. It is much the best for the comfort of a family, to have domestics who can be called on to help whenever they are needed. Of course there must be an understanding, in such cases, that domestics shall have time enough to do their own sewing and mending, and also for meetings and visiting to a suitable extent. All these things should be talked over beforehand, and it will save much trouble.

---

LETTER XIV. ON ECONOMY.

Economy a duty of all. Modes of economizing.

My Friends:

It is the duty of all persons, in every station of life, to practise that economy, which saves from waste, all the bounties of Providence, and which contrives to make every thing useful last as long as possible. The rich have a right to buy more expensive, and more numerous articles, than the poor, but they have no right to waste any thing; for what they do not use themselves they should save for the comfort and enjoyment of others.

And I think, generally, persons who are well off in the world, economize much better than the poor; because they have more knowledge to aid them in the choice and use of articles. And I think that persons who go to service, often practise very little good economy.

I will point out some of the ways in which

they waste much money. In the first place, they do not buy suitable dresses to work in. Dresses for work ought to be very strong and of fast colours, so that a working frock may last a great while, and yet retain a good colour. Now instead of this, they often buy common cheap calicoes, which cost as much time and money to have made up as any, and yet in a few weeks the colours will be washed out, and the stuff also soon be gone.

In buying a working dress, look for strong articles, which are of a dark colour and which will not fade badly.

In purchasing articles for dresses to wear to church, or for visiting, do not get light and expensive silks which soon soil, and become useless. In choosing a silk dress, especially a black one, which is apt to be injured by the dye, get several samples first. Then take these pieces and double them up and rub the edges of the creases against a carpet. You will find that some wear off much sooner than the rest, and the one that bears this trial best, will wear the longest.

You may be sure that every person of good

taste and good judgment will admire and respect you a great deal more, if you dress neat and plain, than if you put on fine and showy articles, that are suitable only for persons who have wealth. It is only persons of weak minds, or great ignorance of propriety, who would admire such extravagant and showy articles, as I am sorry to see, often worn by persons who earn a dollar or two a week by the labour of their hands.

There is often much want of economy too, in regard to the making and mending of dresses. It is no difficult matter to learn to make a frock, and it saves a great deal of expense. To do this, get a mantuamaker to fit and baste a frock for you, and not to sew it. Then take this, and first rip out a sleeve, and iron it out, and cut out a newspaper pattern of it. Then baste up the sleeve and fit it just as it was before, except do not set it into the arm-hole.

Then rip out one half the back, and one half the fore body, iron them out, and cut out patterns. If the fore body has the outside gathered or pleated on to the lining, cut out a pattern, both of the outside and lining. Notice

how deep the seams are, and prick them into the pattern, or make a crease to show where they should be. Restore the back and fore body to their places, and baste in the sleeve. Then take some cheap stuff, and cut out the sleeves and waist by these patterns, and fit them like the dress you are imitating, and make the skirt by the pattern also.

After this, you will find little trouble in making another dress by these patterns.

When sleeves begin to wear out, they are made to last much longer, by ripping out and changing them. So the skirt of a silk frock, will last much longer by ripping it from the waist, and moving it so that the front breadth goes to one side, and the places of all the breadths are changed. In doing this, the slit behind must be sewed up, and a new one made.

For under garments, buy unbleached cotton, which will gradually whiten, and lasts a quarter longer than the whitened. The best petticoats, for winter, are made by taking two old dresses and making a quilt. Never buy white flannel for common wear, unless you mean to colour it. This you can do very easily thus.

Take a pound of cheap black tea, and a bit of copperas as big as a large hen’s egg. Put them to two gallons of water, and boil them three quarters of an hour in an iron kettle. Then strain it off, and clean the kettle thoroughly. Then put the strained dye into it again, and after wetting the flannel in warm water, put it in and boil it fifteen minutes, lifting it up and stirring it often. Then rinse it several times in cold water, and it will be a dark lead colour. You can make a dove colour by adding water to this dye. Home-made flannel coloured thus, is good for under petticoats. Cotton and woollen stockings, coloured thus, are good for common wear. I advise you to knit coarse cotton for common wear in summer and woollen for winter. Coarse knit stockings last four times as long as any you can buy, and this saves much mending. When stockings are worn in the feet, they can be cut down and made over. Strong double-soled shoes should be worn, except in warm weather, and if you will be careful to change your shoes often, so as not to wear them long on the same foot, they will last much longer.

It is a good plan to have a particular evening every week for taking care of your clothes.

Those who cook would do well to wear either a cap, or a square muslin handkerchief, put on for a turban, while cooking. The neatest persons in the world are liable to have hairs and dandruff fall from their heads, and this is the only sure way to keep such disgusting matters out of the food.

I think it probable that some of you for whom I write, will not like the advice I give about the quality of your dress. But I can assure you it is what I should do myself were I under the necessity of labouring for a support. And if I had a sister, or any friend in your situation, I should wish to have her follow this course. Good taste in dress is shown by accommodating our style of dress to our income, and when a domestic, who has not a hundred dollars a year, dresses like persons who have large incomes, every sensible and judicious person thinks it is foolish and in very bad taste.

Moreover, by using strong and durable articles you save money that you can lay up to

provide for your wants, if you should have a family of your own, or if you should be sick or aged, and unabled to work.

Besides all this, it is the duty of every person to give something of their possessions to promote the comfort and welfare of others.

When our Saviour saw a poor widow casting two mites into the treasury which was to support religion, he commended her, even though it was the whole of her living.

The reason of this was that a benevolent spirit is of more value to us than treasures of silver and gold, and none are so poor as not to need to cultivate this spirit. Now a person who spends all she gets on herself, loses one chance to cultivate this generous and benevolent spirit, which is so precious in God’s sight, and so needful to our own best good.

I hope, therefore, you will feel a pleasure in economizing, that you may thus increase your means, not only of providing for your own future independence and comfort, but also that you may have something to give to relieve many, who are suffering for the want of the comforts of this life, and still more for want of

good hope of a better life to come. Give something then, every year, to promote both the temporal and spiritual good of your fellow creatures, and thus also secure the great benefit to yourself, which results from the exercise of a generous and benevolent spirit.

---

LETTER XV.
ON THE CARE OF CHILDREN.

Patience very needful. Offering rewards. Never shame children for their faults. Never deceive them. Set an example of honesty and modesty.

My Friends:

I wish you could realize the great influence which you always must exert over the character and welfare of children, for then what I am now going to write, would secure a deep interest in your minds.

Children are creatures of imitation and sympathy, and they always feel and act very much as those do about them. Thus they are daily forming their tastes, habits and character from the pattern of those who are most with them. And their happiness, for time and eternity, is decided by the good or evil that thus surrounds them.

Almost all domestics have more or less to do with the children of a family, so that though

what I write is most important to those who nurse and take care of children, it should be deeply pondered by all.

The greatest and most important requisite in all who have the care of children is patience. Children have come into a world where every thing is new to them—where they cannot understand the mischief they make,—and more than all this, they are so thoughtless and forgetful, that they cannot remember when they do discover what is dangerous or wrong, as older minds can do.

Suppose you were suddenly put in a vast kitchen, with ten thousand new utensils to work with, and new sorts of work to do, and all the time in danger of doing something wrong—or forgetting something you were told. You would feel puzzled, and sometimes out of patience, and you would think it very hard if those who employed you had no patience, and no sympathy for you, in such difficult circumstances. You would think that you were more to be pitied than blamed, when you forgot, or made mistakes. And if your employers spoke kindly to you, and always seemed to feel for

your difficulties, and to be patient with your forgetfulness, you would find it much easier to do your duty.

Now children are in just such a situation. Just observe young children for one day, and see how many times they have to be told that they are doing wrong! Poor things!—they are ignorant, and forgetful, and have a thousand things to learn and to remember. And they often are blamed and found fault with for something every hour, and a great deal more than grown persons could bear. Have patience with them, and as much as possible keep from speaking in cross and angry tones.

I know persons who make it a rule never to speak cross to children. Instead of this, they wait till their own feelings are calm, and then kindly speak to them of their faults. And when they see a child doing mischief, instead of calling out in sharp and angry tones, they go up and take hold of the child and stop its mischief—or set it up in a chair—and take care not to speak till it can be done in a calm and gentle way. Children who are managed by such persons, have an example of patience,

gentleness and kindness before them that has a great influence.

And when such persons tell children that they must not act angry and speak cross, when any thing troubles them, it does far more good than it could do, if they see their advisers set them an example just contrary to their instructions.

One of the most successful ways of making children behave well is, to keep them good natured and happy. Very often, when children feel peevish, and when they get into contentions, some amusing story, or play, will make them good natured, and then all will go smooth again. Whereas, if those who take care of them fret at them, and tell them they are naughty and disagreeable, it only adds to their trouble and vexation, and makes them act worse rather than better. I have seen a person taking care of children, manage in this way.

A little boy is out of humour—he goes sullenly about, and if any one speaks to him answers in cross tones—and then he teazes some one—or strikes, or kicks some one who teazes him.

The nurse sees that the difficulty is, that the child feels irritable and unhappy, and that fault-finding will only make him feel worse. So she goes and takes him in her lap, and says, “Come here, children, and hear this story—or see this pretty thing—or hear me read something pretty to you”—so she contrives to amuse them a few minutes till all feel pleasant, and then she says to the offender, “Now, my dear little boy, you have been feeling cross and unhappy and have done wrong, but if you will try to be pleasant and speak kind for a whole hour, I will do so and so;—and you other children too, must try to make your little brother feel comfortable and happy, and not trouble him in any way.” Try such a method, and you will find it much better than fretting at the child yourself.

A person who takes care of children should economize her favors and kindnesses, and keep them to use for such occasions. If there are little enjoyments she can procure, or favours she can bestow, instead of giving them without any effort to gain them by the children—she should save them to use as rewards for

their endeavours to be patient, kind and obedient.

And in all the management of children, it should be a maxim to regulate them by love and hope, rather than by fault-finding and other penalties.

If you tell a child “If you try to do so and so, you shall have such an enjoyment,” then the child has something pleasant to think of whenever he is tempted to do wrong, and he is pleased in trying. But if you tell him “If you do so and so, you shall be punished,” or if he feels that he shall get a scolding if he does what he wants to do—then there is nothing pleasant before the mind, while trying to do right. He sees punishment coming if he does one way—and no good comes if he does the other way, and so he has no pleasurable feeling at all to lead him to do right. There are some faults that must be cured by punishment, but these a parent must manage and not the domestics who take care of children. Let me advise you then, to manage children as much as possible by keeping them happy, and by offering them rewards for efforts to be good.

And in offering these rewards, always have some particular thing that the child can try to do or not to do. Do not tell the child, “If you will be good all day I will do so and so.” For “being good” is so indefinite that the child cannot tell what he is to aim at.—But tell a child, “Now if you will go a whole hour without speaking one unkind word, or if you will do such and such a thing, you shall have a favour,” and then the child has some definite thing to try to do. And be careful not to have the time of trial too long, for an hour to a child is as long as a day to older persons, and if you can get a child to govern itself a short time, it is learning to do it easier and longer the next time.

When children have faults never try to shame them out of them. Nothing hardens a child so much as this practice. Telling other people a child’s faults, for the purpose of curing the fault, is a sad, sad mistake. Suppose, in order to cure you of some bad habit, your employer should take visitors into the kitchen to shame you by telling them of your faults. Do you think it would be a good way to cure you?

Surely not, and it is no better to treat children thus.

Instead of this, always treat children as if you thought they wished and intended to do right, and when they do wrong show sympathy and pity towards them, and try to conceal their faults from others as much as you can. This will make children love you, and try the more to do as you advise. When you have done wrong, if a person says, “It is always just so—I always expect you will forget, and do the wrong thing—I never can put any confidence in you”—does it not make you feel discouraged, as if there was no use in trying, and as if you were unjustly dealt with? But suppose your employer says, “Oh, I see you forgot this thing—or did that thing wrong—but I suppose you did not mean to. We all forget sometimes—I think you will remember better next time.” Does not such treatment make you feel as if you should try not to forget next time—far more than the first mode?

Take this same way with children. Always encourage them to try again, and make all the allowances and excuses you can, and

then they will feel that you are sorry for them, and they will wish and intend to do better next time.

And the worse children are, the more danger there is of their losing all hope of improving, and all sense of shame, and all desire to gain a good character. I have had young persons come to my care, who I saw had acted so badly and been found fault with so much, that they did not expect any thing else, and so they never tried. And when they saw I expected that they would do well, and pitied or excused their defects, and praised them for every thing that was at all commendable, they began to grow encouraged. And finding how pleasant it was to be praised, and to have some one that did not dislike them all the time for doing wrong, they made very great exertions, till they really became all that they saw I expected.

I have seen great changes made in very bad children, by merely stopping finding fault, and encouraging and praising as much as truth would allow. I advise you try the same method, when you have to deal with very bad

children. Stop finding fault; try to palliate and excuse as much as you can; try to convince them, you feel kindly to them; try to make them feel happy; act as if you expected they would try to do well; and every chance you can find, when they do well, commend them for it, and report their good conduct to their friends. Try this, and you will often find it will work wonders in improving bad children.

Be very careful, in talking with children, never to set an example of deceit. It often is as bad to deceive as it is to tell a direct lie, and a deceitful character is one of the worst and most disagreeable. For this reason never deceive children in any way, or for any purpose—and always express disgust if you see any deceitful tricks in them. Children soon learn to despise and dislike what others do, and if deceit is always spoken of as hateful and mean, they soon learn to feel so about it themselves.

Be careful to cherish feelings of strict honesty in children. Always advise them to ask leave to use each other’s things, and talk to them about the meanness and the danger of

taking or using what belongs to others without knowing that the owners are willing. Remember that “stealing, is using what belongs to others, without proper evidence that the owner is willing.” And the evil is not so much in the thing done, as in the want of an honest character in the person who does it. And this want of honesty can be shown, as much in little matters as it is in great ones. If a child sees you go and get a needle, or thread, or a bit of tape from its mother’s work basket, and knows that its mother would not be willing, your example leads it to steal also.—Remember these things, and beware lest you are the guilty cause of training children to deceit and dishonesty.

Always endeavour to make young children modest and delicate. Avoid vulgar and indelicate words and actions, and express great disgust when you see or hear any thing immodest or indelicate in them. Nothing saves children from future dangers so much as great care in this respect.

Try to cultivate in children a habit of industry. This is a great preservative from bad

tempers, and from mischief. Children love to be active, and they can easily be induced to be useful in one way or another. Try to contrive useful employment for them, and if you cannot secure it any other way, offer some reward for their services. But always try first, to get them to do useful things, for the pleasure of helping others, and of thus doing good. A great deal can be done in this way by trying, and thus you are helping to form habits both of industry and benevolence.

Never allow yourselves to tell young children frightful stories. Sometimes children suffer agonies of fear, from having their imaginations filled with frightful images, that haunt them in the dark, or when they go to bed. When I was very young I was told by a young girl, who did not like to stay by me, that if I cried, or made any noise, the “bull beggars” would come down the chimney and carry me off. And many a night I lay with my head covered up, sweating with fear and distress that I shall never forget. Probably there is no distress of childhood so great as that of fear, and domestics should be very careful not to excite it, and

should be patient and kind to little children when they suffer from it.

Another thing I hope you will avoid, and that is, giving children good things to eat in order to coax or reward them. Remember that every time any thing is put into the stomach, all its muscles begin to work in moving it about, for an hour or two; for the stomach, in digesting food, works as hard as the hands work in kneading bread. The stomach needs time to rest after this effort, and children ought never to eat more than once between meals, and then they ought to have bread, or some other simple food.

Those, therefore, who give them cake, or candy, or nuts, and allow them to keep eating them every time they like, take a course which, unless the stomach is very strong, is sure to weaken and injure it. When children have nuts, apples, candy, or cakes, persuade them to eat them, either at their meals as a part, or else half way between a meal as a luncheon, and do not let them keep nibbling and tasting through several successive hours, thus keeping the stomach all the time labouring, and wearing out its strength.

---

LETTER XVI.
ON COOKING.

My Friends:

There are plenty of receipt books in this country, that direct as to the kind of ingredients for food, and as to the proper quantities; but no knowledge of receipts can ever make a good cook.

The great art of good cooking is taking care. Take care that your fire is not too hot, nor too low—that your oven is not too hot, nor too cold—that your bread is not too much raised, nor too little; that your mixtures have not too much, nor too little of any particular ingredient.—It is care, care, watch, watch, that alone can secure the art of cooking well. And there are few persons whose business it is to cook, who view their duty on this subject in a proper light. To illustrate my meaning, I will give an example. The domestic of a family in which I have

resided, was remarkable for always having good bread, at all seasons, even when the hot weather spoiled all other yeast but hers.

And such light, such sweet, such beautiful looking bread rarely is seen. Now the amount of pleasure and comfort given to this family by this one thing, few would appreciate. The master of the house always seemed to rejoice at every new baking, in seeing his family so well supplied. His wife always seemed pleased when her husband, children, and visitors praised the bread, and every member of the family, at every meal, felt a sort of satisfaction every time they looked at the bread plate. Now multiply these comfortable feelings at each meal, by the number of all the family, and then by the number of meals in a year, and what a large amount of enjoyment was thus made, simply by taking care always to have good bread! Change this bread to merely tolerable bread, and how much enjoyment would be lost!—Turn it to heavy and sour bread, and then how much discomfort would take the place of enjoyment!

Now is it not God who gives us all the common comforts of life, and do we not thank and praise him for them? And is it not worthy the aim of his creatures to follow his example, in contributing to the daily enjoyment of a family? And ought we not to dignify and ennoble all the common cares of life, by regarding ourselves, as co-workers with God in providing for the comfort and enjoyment of his creatures?

This view of the subject teaches us the true meaning of the direction: “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” Now the glory of God consists in that perfect benevolence of his character, which leads him always to find pleasure in providing for the comfort, and caring for the happiness of his creatures. And the more happiness is made, the more his glory is promoted. And the more we labour to promote the comfort and enjoyment of others, the more we are becoming like him, and are promoting his glory. Thus, in the humblest of all positions, every one of us can do something to add to the stock of happiness, which exhibits the glory of God, as the

author of all being, and the source of all enjoyment.

Now it is much to be lamented, that people should fancy that there are some particular ways of doing good, that are especially acceptable to God. This is not so. It is the temper of mind, that God looks at and approves, and not the particular thing done.—A woman may go about and visit the poor, and give money to send education and the gospel to others, with very little self-denial, and perhaps from the mere love of the credit thus gained. And in this case, in God’s sight, the offering is of little value. But the domestic, who in her humblest employments, goes about trying to do every thing in the best manner, aiming thus to serve God, by promoting the comfort of his creatures—she is the one who receives his approving smile—she is the one who, whatever she does, is doing all “for the glory of God.” I wish all who read this would thus regard their daily pursuits in the kitchen, and then they will not feel, as too many in humble circumstances are apt to do, that they have no way in which they can serve God, or

do much good in the world. None of us can tell who does the most, or the least good. God appoints each one of us our lot, and requires all to do what they can, to complete the great sum of enjoyment, which He designs to secure. And the great thing for each to aim at is, not to have some great thing to do, but to possess that benevolent and submissive temper of mind that will rejoice to do good, wherever God appoints the place.

In the first of Corinthians, you will find a chapter in which “charity” is described. Now when the Bible was translated from the Greek 200 years ago, this word “charity” meant what the word benevolence means now, and we should so understand it. In this chapter you find it thus written: “And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, (that is, benevolence,) I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity—it profiteth me nothing.”

Now this is the very thing I have been explaining.

A person may be the most learned person in the world, and may give all he has to feed the poor, and even suffer martyrdom for the sake of religion, and yet be destitute of that temper of true benevolence that makes him like God. All these great things may be done from a mere love of show, or the desire of applause, and then they are nothing in the sight of God.

But that patient, humble, kind, gentle, benevolent temper of mind, that loves to serve God and do good to man, in all circumstances, and at all times, this is precious in the sight of God. And this temper of mind can be cherished and exhibited, as much in the kitchen as it can in the pulpit.—It can be shown, as much in providing food for a family, as it can in those schemes of benevolence which send missionaries and Bibles to heathen lands.

And though it is the duty of all Christians to feel an interest in the spread of that blessed religion, which brings so much hope and comfort to us, and though we ought all of us to contribute something from our stock for this merciful and heavenly object, yet we ought to feel that this is only one way of showing our benevolent

feelings, and that we can have but a few chances of this kind in a year. But it is in every day life that we can all the time be showing forth the temper of benevolence. And here it is that Jesus Christ looks to see, whether or not, we are gaining that self-denying, benevolent, and submissive spirit, that alone can prepare us for His heavenly kingdom.

I will now point out some particulars in your every day duties, that demand special attention.

There is no one article of cooking, that is so important as good bread, for this is the chief dependence for food in most families, and the health of a family very much depends upon it. Poor bread is always unhealthy. There are three things that are requisite to secure good bread, viz. good flour, good yeast, and good care. The best kind of flour has a very white or a yellowish tinge, and the poorest looks as if ashes were mixed with it. Good flour too packs closely, and does not fly about easily. Grown flour makes bread that runs, and will not rise well. It is best always to try flour

in one or two batches, before getting a whole barrel.

Many persons secure good yeast the year round, by making yeast cakes. There are others who have tried them and do not like them. These are made by mixing Indian meal in a quart or two of the best yeast, till it is thick enough to work up into round cakes about three quarters of an inch thick, and two or three inches in diameter. These are dried in the sun, or what is better, in a drying wind. They are then kept in a bag, in a place where it is not damp, and where they will not freeze.

In using them, take one cake for a large batch of bread, and soak it in milk and water through the night, and then use it like common yeast. This yeast is good for hot weather when yeast spoils so often. The best time for making yeast cakes is in May and October, and they will keep six months or more. Success all depends on having the best of yeast for making the cakes.

Those who have most success in making bread, are very particular in heating their oven

exactly right. For this purpose they have oven wood kept in a pile by itself, and the sticks of nearly equal size. They then find out by trial, how many sticks heat the oven just right. Afterwards, they always use this number, and thus they are saved from much watching, and from many mistakes in baking.

Great care is needful also to put the bread in at just the right time. If the bread does not stand to rise long enough, it is too solid, either for health, or pleasure in eating. If it stands too long, it loses much of its sweetness, even if it does not become sour. A great deal of light and nice looking bread is not good, because it has lost its sweetness by being raised too much. The exactly right notch can only be found by trying, and after a while a cook will learn to know by the looks of the dough when it is just right.

Always smell of the dough, and if there is the least sourness, knead some dissolved pearlash in, and it will remove it. Nothing is worse than sour bread, and it can always be remedied by pearlash. To discover sourness, open a

place suddenly, and smell quickly before the gas escapes.

The following is the mode of making yeast and bread, practised by the domestic I have lived with, who makes as good bread as I ever saw.

For yeast, take a handful of hops, boil them in two quarts of water twenty minutes, strain off and mix in about three pints of flour, together with half a pint of distillery yeast, or a pint and a half of homemade yeast. Some molasses or sugar added, hides the bitter taste of the yeast, that sometimes is perceived in bread.

For bread, take a peck of flour, sift it, make a hole in the centre, and put in half a pint of distillery yeast, or nearly a pint of homemade yeast. Then wet up the flour with warm milk. The bread must then be kneaded for half an hour, until it is so thick and well mixed as to cleave from the hands without sticking at all. Raise it till it has cracks on the top and looks light and feathery. If sour at all, knead in a great spoonful of pearlash dissolved in a teacupful of milk. When the bread is baked, set the loaves on their ends, so that the bottom

may not steam, and cover it with a cloth. Some persons dampen the cloth to make the crust soft. Some persons put salt in bread, others do not. When bread is not wet with milk it needs salt, and a bit of butter is also an improvement.

In cooking vegetables, much depends upon boiling them the right length of time. This is especially the case with potatoes, which next after bread are the most important item in family cooking. Success in boiling potatoes well, depends almost entirely on taking them out of the water just as soon as they are done so as to be soft. If they remain after this point, they become water soaked. Therefore select the potatoes all nearly of one size, and try them often with a fork. As soon as it runs in easily, pour off the water, and hang them where they will be kept hot, keeping the cover off, to let off the steam. Even when potatoes are cooked in steam, they become water soaked, if they are kept steaming after they are cooked.

A very nice way to cook potatoes for a morning dish, is to pare them raw, and cut them in thin slices into a small quantity of

boiling water, so that when they are cooked, most of the water will be evaporated. Then salt them and add some cream. If no cream is at hand, use some butter. Cold boiled potatoes are very nice cut in slices, and fried on a griddle in drippings. The common way of roasting potatoes is improved by peeling them when raw, and then roasting them in a Dutch oven or cooking stove. It gives the outside a fine crisp, of which many are fond.

In boiling all vegetables, first put salt in the water, say a great spoonful to a gallon. It is important to select all of a similar size that all may cook alike. Never let your pot stop boiling till they are done, as it makes them water soaked.

The following may serve as some guide as to time for boiling. Potatoes require from half to three quarters of an hour, according to the size. Cabbage requires from an hour and a half to two hours; turnips one hour; carrots one hour; if quite old still more time; parsnips one hour and a half; squash, when cut up, half an hour; pumpkins cut up one hour; green corn one hour; beets from two to three hours; Lima

beans one hour; peas three quarters of an hour; if old, sugar and a little pearlash improve them; onions three quarters of an hour; asparagus half an hour; rice three quarters of an hour, pour off the water in thirty minutes and add some milk, and be sure and salt it enough. Hommony requires two quarts of water to one quart of hommony, and it must be boiled five hours. Eggs require three minutes when there are few eggs and much water, and four or five minutes when there are many eggs and little water. Eggs cook, in a tin boiler, in five or six minutes after the boiling water is poured on them, if the boiler is first scalded. Vegetables boil much sooner when young and tender, and judgment must be used in varying time. Always try all vegetables with a fork to see when they are done.

Coffee should boil not more than ten minutes. In making tea, first scald the teapot, then put in one teaspoonful of tea for each person, and be sure that the water boils when poured on. Tea is injured by standing long to draw.

In preparing vegetables for the table, always have the dishes to receive them warmed,

and never let any water remain in the bottom of the dish, and always wipe the edge of the dish clean with a damp cloth before carrying it to the table. Always contrive to have vegetables hot when carried to the table. If potatoes are old and watery, peel them before boiling; the moment they are done, pour off the water and hang them to dry a few minutes. Then empty them into a clean brown towel and shake them about in it. This makes them dry and mealy, as the towel absorbs much moisture from them. Potatoes are improved by mashing, putting in milk and butter and then baking them. Turnips when old and not sweet, are very much improved by mashing and squeezing the water out, and then adding a little white sugar. Be sure and squeeze the water thoroughly out of cabbage. Put your vegetables in nice order in the dishes, and set them on the table in a regular way.

In regard to cooking meats, very much depends, in roasting, on the size of the fire, on the heat of the weather, and on whether the meat is fresh killed or not; for meat cooks faster in warm than in cold weather, and fresh

killed meat is longer cooking than meat that has been kept. Of course much depends on the care and judgment of a cook, but as some calculation must be made beforehand, as to how much time each article will require, the following may be of service as a guide. Boil a chicken twenty-five minutes; a hen forty minutes; a small turkey an hour and a half; a large one two hours; a leg of mutton of nine lbs. two hours and a half; a neck two hours; a piece of lamb weighing five lbs. two hours; a half round of salt beef three hours; pickled pork, soak six hours, and boil a piece weighing seven or eight lbs. three hours and a half. Boil two pounds of bacon one hour and a half. To cook ham, soak it through the night, then put it in cold water, heat it slowly for an hour, then let it simmer gently four or five hours, if it weighs as much as fifteen pounds. Soak tongues over night, put them in cold water and boil them slowly four or five hours. Try with a fork to see when they are done.

All boiling of meats should be done by simmering, for a galloping boil takes out both

sweetness and tenderness. Leaving cooked meat in the water lessens its flavour and sweetness.

Roasting may be regulated somewhat by the following directions. Roast a sirloin of fifteen lbs. three hours and a half. Ribs of beef the same.

Mutton is very much improved by long keeping, and all meat is better when not fresh killed. Roast a leg of mutton of eight lbs. two hours; the chine, or saddle weighing ten lbs. two and a half hours; a shoulder of seven lbs. one and a half hours; a loin, one and three quarter hours; the breast one hour and fifteen minutes; a leg and part of the loin weighing fifteen lbs. three and a half.

Veal. Roast the fillet weighing sixteen lbs. five hours; a stuffed loin three hours; a shoulder three hours; a neck two hours; the breast two hours.

Lamb. Hind quarter of eight lbs. one and three quarter hours; fore quarter of ten lbs. two hours; a leg of five lbs. one and a half hours; a shoulder one hour; ribs one and a quarter; neck one hour; breast three quarters of an hour.

Pork. Leg of eight lbs. three hours; sparerib of nine lbs. three hours; a thin sparerib one and a quarter; a loin of five lbs. two hours. A three weeks old pig one and three quarter hours.

Fowls. A turkey—let it warm for half an hour, then roast a large one three hours, a middle size two hours; a small one, one and a half hours. A large hen one and a quarter hours; a middle size hen one hour; small chicken forty minutes. A goose, from one and a half, to one and three quarters.

A duck from one half to three quarters of an hour. The more you baste in roasting the more you improve the flavour of the meat.

In broiling, cut the slices three quarters of an inch thick. If cut thicker they brown too much before the inside is cooked. Broiling is best, done quick, and eaten soon.

A cook has great opportunities for practising economy. For this end she should visit the cellar and pantry every day, to see that all the food is safely preserved, and that all spoilt articles are removed. She should save all small bits of butter, all drippings that can be

used in cooking, and all grease that can be used for soap. She should preserve all good bits of bread, which can, when dry, be boiled in water or milk, to eat with butter and sugar—a favourite dish for children. Dry bread is also good for rusk puddings, and for stuffings.

Always use the dry bread before it becomes mouldy.

A cook also should practise economy in the use of fuel. Domestics are very apt to burn out far more fuel than is needful to keep themselves comfortable, or to do the cooking properly. This is very wrong, for we have no right to waste even our own things, far less to waste what belongs to another.

Remember that when our Saviour had power, by one word, to supply five thousand with bread, still he commanded his disciples, “Gather up the fragments, that nothing be lost.” This was done for the instruction of all who have the charge of food, or any of the bounties of his providence. Remember then, that in taking care of fragments of food you are following the example of him who thinks nothing is too small for his care and attention.

In hot weather be careful always to cover meat from the flies. In preserving fresh meat, cut out all kernels, and fill the holes with salt, then rub salt all over. Always keep cheese covered closely. Cake, bread and cheese are best kept in tin boxes with tight covers.

The grand maxim for kitchen work, as well as all other work is, “A place for every thing, and every thing in its place.” Much is gained by forming a habit of putting up things and cleaning things as fast as they are used. You will see some domestics get a kitchen in fine order, and in a couple of hours every thing will be in disorder again. This is because, when they make a slop they do not wipe it, when they dirty the hearth they do not sweep it, when they use articles they never put them in their places. Instead of this a neat and orderly person not only puts things in order, but keeps them so.

I have heard some housekeepers express the opinion that it was out of the question to get a domestic that was neat and orderly, and yet good tempered. It seems to be taken for

granted that neat habits and a sharp temper go together.

Now this is owing to the fact, that when persons are neat and orderly, it troubles them far more than it does untidy persons, to have any matters of theirs disarranged, and so they gradually acquire a habit of fretting, or scolding.

This ought to be carefully avoided, and I hope all who read this will try and see if there cannot be at least a few, who can be neat, orderly, and yet good tempered domestics, so that it will not be said of them, as I have often heard of others, “Yes, she is very neat and orderly, but her temper is as sharp as a steel-trap.”

---

LETTER XVII.

On setting tables. Washing and ironing, and other house work.

My Friends:

Those who are good housekeepers are generally very desirous to have their tables set neatly, and in a proper manner. Few things are more annoying to such persons, than to see the table set askew, the table cloth tumbled and put on awry, the knives, tumblers, plates, and dishes put on without any order; the pitchers soiled outside and in, the butter pitched on the plate without any care, the bread cut with a mixture of junks and thin slices and thrown on the plate carelessly, and all other matters in similar disorder. Nothing will give more satisfaction to employers than carefulness and order in this particular. The following rules will serve as a guide in this duty.

Rules for setting Tables.

1. Lay the table rug square with the room; the right side up, and smooth and even.

2. Set the table square with the room, and see that the leaves and legs are properly fixed, so that all will stand firm, and then put on the table cloth smooth and even, so that the creases will run straight across the table.

3. For breakfast and tea, set the waiter on square, put the cups and saucers in front, and the sugar and slop bowls, and cream cup the back side. Put a sugar spoon, or tongs, by the sugar bowl. Then set the plates around the table at regular distances with a knife in front, and a napkin on one side and a cup mat the back side of it. Put mats for dishes of food in a regular manner, and set these dishes on, square and orderly. Set the tea or coffee either on the waiter, or on a mat at the right hand.

4. For dinner, set the caster exactly in the middle of the table, and put the salts at two oblique corners of the table between two large spoons crossed. If more spoons are

needed lay them each side the caster. Lay the salt spoons across the salt dishes, and the mustard spoon beside its cup. Place the knives and forks at regular distances, so that the knife will be at the right hand and the fork at the left. Place a tumbler and napkin so that they will be at the right hand side of each plate. In cool weather, set the plates to warm till dinner is ready. Place the two largest mats opposite the master and mistress of the family, and the others in regular order. Put the two principal dishes on these largest mats. Set the bread on a side table, or with a fork lay a piece on the napkin by each plate.

On clearing Tables.

Always wipe the salt spoons and lay them beside the salt dishes in the cupboard. Also cleanse the mustard spoon. Fold the napkins neatly and lay them up in good order. When all the dishes are removed, fold up the table cloth so that it shall double in the same creases as were ironed in, and lay it away smoothly.

On waiting at Table.

Always have a clean apron on, and your hands clean, and your hair in order, when waiting on table. Stand on the left side of the lady of the house, and always go to the left side of a person waited on.

In removing covers, be careful to turn them wrong side up before bearing them away, so as not to spill the steam on the table cloth, or on the dresses of those at table. In pouring out water, never fill the tumbler higher than an inch from the top. It is not considered good manners when waiting on table, to address persons at table, or join in the conversation at all, unless you are addressed by persons at the table.

On Washing and Ironing.

Success in washing well, depends very much on the abundant use of water, and it is very important to employers, who are anxious to have their clothes well washed, that they provide easy modes of getting water and of heating it. In the work of mine on Domestic

Economy, which I have before alluded to, is a plan by which, at a trifling expense, water can be raised, conducted about, and heated with far less labor than is commonly used.

Common mode of Washing.

Assort the clothes and put the white ones in soak over night, as it loosens the dirt. Next day, wash the fine clothes first, and then rub them again in a second suds, turning all wrong side out. Put them in a bag and boil them half an hour, and no more. Then rinse them in a plenty of water and throw them into the bluing water. The nicest washers use two rinse waters before the bluing water. Starch those to be stiffened, and bang them out. Then wash the common white clothes, then the calicoes, then the flannels.

Never leave calicoes long damp, or standing in water; do not wash them in very hot water, and when the water looks dingy, change it or they will look dirty. Never rub on soap, but mix it in the water so as not to have any lumps, and use hard soap. Never let calicoes freeze in

drying, and dry them wrong side out and in a shady place. All these cautions are needful to preserve the colours. Wash flannels in two suds, as hot as the hand can bear, and rinse in a hot suds. If not very dirty, two hot suds will answer.

If they are to be blued, then the rinse water must not be suds, as it makes the bluing go on in specks. Never put flannels in any but very hot water. Starch and shake them before hanging out.

Soda Washing.

This mode saves just one half the work done by the common mode.

Make the soap thus: Boil six pounds of common soda with six pounds of bar soap in thirty quarts of water two hours. Then let it grow cool, and set it away for use.

In washing, put one pound of this soap to each pailful of water. After soaking the white clothes in lukewarm water over night, boil them in this mixture one hour and no more, or they will be injured. Then take them into a tub of cold water, and proceed just as you do

in the common mode after you take them out of the boil. That is, rinse them in one or two waters and put them in blue water. The boiling in this mixture saves the rubbing in two suds, which is the common mode. If there are spots very much soiled, put on soap and rub them in the first rinse water. Flannels and calicoes cannot be washed thus. The mixture can be used twice or thrice, and then is good to wash floors with. Always wring clothes very dry the last time.

On Sprinkling, Folding and Ironing.

Wipe the dust from the ironing board or table. Take lukewarm water and sprinkle all the articles, laying the coloured ones separately and the fine ones by themselves. Turn each article right side out. Fold and roll each piece separately, putting the fine ones in a towel and laying all in a basket, separating the white and coloured ones by a towel. Do not let the coloured clothes be damp long, but wait till you can iron them as soon after folding as will answer. Shake, stretch and

fold the sheets and table linen. Iron all lace and needle work on the wrong side. Iron calicoes with an iron not very hot. Frocks are to be ironed thus; first the waist, then the sleeves, and then hang them on a chair, and iron the skirt. Keep the skirt rolled, while ironing the waist and sleeves.

Shirts are ironed thus; first the back, then the sleeves, then the collar and bosom, then the front. Iron stockings on the wrong side. Wipe the dust from the clothes frame before putting on the clothes, and remove the clothes as soon as aired, to save them from smoke or flies.

Other Kitchen Work.

Be careful to keep your sink in order by frequent scalding. Keep a slop pail at hand to receive all refuse matter. Always keep a kettle of warm soft water over the fire.

Be very careful to wash dishes properly, as this is a matter very often done amiss. I will tell you how those persons do this kind of work, who are ranked as the best domestics.

In the first place, they always keep a good supply of dish cloths. They have at least three in daily use, one for dishes that are not greasy, one for greasy dishes, and one for pots and kettles. These are put in the wash every week, and clean ones taken in their place. This prevents the musty, greasy smell that dish water so often leaves on dishes and dish towels.

When a large number of dishes are to be washed, they have two dish pans, one for hot suds and one for rinsing; also an old waiter, on which to drain the dishes when taken out of the rinsing water.

They also keep their suds hot and change it often. Before washing the dishes, they scrape all the plates and dishes clean and set them in regular piles, the largest at the bottom. Then they wash the glass, silver and other metal dishes first, wiping them while hot and rubbing them till bright and clear. Then they wash the dishes not greasy; and then take another dish cloth and wash the greasy dishes, rinsing them before putting them to drain. They keep two or three towels in use, so as to lay one aside when it becomes wet. One towel is

usually kept for the dishes that are not greasy. Last of all, they take another dish cloth, and getting fresh water, wash the roasters, gridiron, pots and kettles. The metals they dry by the fire before setting away. For the nicest dishes, a swab made of stripes of linen tied to a stick like a small mop, is very convenient, and saves the hands from the hot water.

Be very careful to keep the cellar clean. Decayed vegetables in a cellar always endanger the health of a family. Many terrible fevers and epidemics have been caused by storing vegetables in cellars and leaving them to send out the poisonous gas that is always exhaled when they decay. Always remove any vegetables when they begin to decay. Watch the barrels of salt food to see that the meat keeps under the brine.

Care of Lamps.

This matter demands far more care and neatness than is generally bestowed. This is the way I have seen it managed by those most neat and careful. An old waiter is provided to

hold all the articles used, the oil pot has a small turned-up nose that will not drip and is set on a plate, the wick yarn is kept in a basket and sharp scissors are kept for trimming. Great pains is taken to keep all the articles free from oil, and the rags and towels used are frequently washed and changed. After all the lamps are done, each lamp is carefully examined to see if it is secured properly, and wiped entirely clean. Then every article used is made so clean and nice that no smell of oil will be caused by using them next time. Some housekeepers always do this job themselves, because they cannot get persons who will do it carefully.

Nothing makes work go off so easily as having some system in doing it. Where the mistress of the family does not arrange your work, always try to have some plan yourself. For example, have a particular day of the week for doing particular kinds of work, and go by the clock as much as you can.

On Friday or Saturday, see that your cellar, closets, pantry, are all in order. See also that you have a supply of holders, dish cloths, and all the articles you need for washing and

ironing. If you will devote one day each week to examining every department and putting all in order, you will save much time and trouble.

On the Care of Parlours and Chambers.

In sweeping the nicest parlours, it is common to cover the tables, books, sofas and chimney ornaments with old sheets. Then cleanse the fireplace and hearth and jambs. Then sweep the carpet. It saves a carpet very much to have a very large flat tin dust pan, with a handle a yard long, fixed straight up, so it will stand alone. This can be moved about without stooping, and much of the dirt swept into it with the broom, instead of sweeping all across the carpet. This saves much dust as well as wearing of the carpet.

After the dust settles, dust the articles with old silk handkerchiefs and feather brushes. Use a painter’s brush for dusting ledges. Shake and wash your dust cloths often, or they get filled with dust and soil the walls and furniture.

In dusting, be careful not to rub your

duster against the wall. Set all the furniture straight and in regular order—never leave the chairs standing awry, as if dancing a jig with each other. Make them square with the wall. When doing chamber work, observe the following directions about making a bed.

To make a bed.

Open the windows, lay off the bed covering on two chairs at the foot, and let the bed air some time before making it. When ready to make it, shake the feathers from each corner into the middle, then take up the middle part and shake it well, then push about the feathers and turn the bed over. Then push the feathers so as to make the head a little higher than the foot, and the sides as high as the middle part. Then put on the bolster, and then the undersheet so that the marking shall be at the head, and the right side of the sheet upward, tucking in all around. Then place the pillows so that the open ends shall be at the sides of the bed. Then spread on the upper sheet so that the marking shall be at the head, and the right side

downward. This arrangement of the sheets is designed to prevent the part where the feet lie from being turned so as to come to the face, and to prevent also the parts soiled by the body from touching the bed tick and blankets. Then put on the other covering, tucking in all except the outside one. Then smooth the cover and draw the hand along the side of the pillows, to make an even indentation. When the pillow cases are smooth and clean, hem over the upper sheet, and put them on the outside.

---

Sweep clean under beds, and remove all articles that can be moved, so as to sweep behind them. Wash the bowl and pitcher and tumbler on the wash stand every day. Once a week, scald all the vessels used in a chamber. Dust the doors, ledges, window sashes, and every article of furniture.

Never allow yourself to look in boxes or drawers, as it is a temptation to honesty, besides, being contrary to the wish of employers. Never allow yourself to take the most trifling article that belongs to another. Nothing is more important to a domestic than a character

for honesty, and nothing grows so fast as habits of dishonesty. If you will steal needles, thread, pins, cord, or tapes, you will soon take more valuable things. And it is not the value of the thing taken which makes it an act of theft. Stealing is “taking or using any thing that belongs to another, without evidence that the owner is willing.” And no matter how small the thing is, it is theft, as much as if it were greater. And it is not the harm done to another that is most to be feared, it is the injury done to yourself in forming a habit of dishonesty, and thus searing your conscience, and ruining your character. Always remember that you are committing a sin, when you are handling or using any thing that belongs to another, if you would be unwilling to have the owner suddenly appear and see you doing it.

---

LETTER XVIII.
The Way to be Happy.

My Friends:

Before concluding this little book, I will attempt to make one thing plain to you, which often puzzles many minds. From the pulpit, and in many other ways, you are often urged to become religious. And this duty is spoken of in a great variety of ways, so that there is a perplexity and difficulty in knowing exactly what it is that you are urged to do. You are sometimes urged “to become religious,” to “become pious,” to “become Christians;” at other times you are told, that you must “repent;” that you must “be converted;” must “submit to God;” must be “born again;” must have “a new heart;” must “believe in the Lord Jesus Christ;” must have “faith in Christ.” I have no doubt but that you sometimes feel, that you do not exactly understand what you are required to do, and that if any one would explain

the matter so that you knew exactly what to do, you should be willing to do it. Now this is what I am going to attempt, and I think I can make it clear by a simple illustration.

Suppose a long and lingering sickness should suddenly appear in the place where you live, and the nurses and physicians could find no cure for it. At length a man appears who claims, that all who will come to him and obey his prescriptions, will be cured. Some say they believe in him, and some say they do not.—Some say they have faith in him, and some say they have not. Some come to him and get his directions, and obey them exactly; some do not even ask his advice; others ask for it, and when it is written out, lay it up in a drawer and never use it. Now, in this case, who are the persons who really believe in him, and really have faith in him? Surely it is not those who say they believe in him, it is only those who go to him, take his advice, and to the best of their understanding, obey it.

Now, suppose all who really obeyed his advice were healed, and then others who had neglected and despised him, should come to them,

and ask what they should do, to be cured of that sickness. A variety of answers would be given. It would be said, you must “turn and repent” of your past neglect—you must “submit” to this physician—you must “believe” in this physician—you must “have faith” in this physician.

All these directions mean the same thing, that is, you must come to the physician for his directions, and then you must obey them. Merely believing that his prescriptions are good, or going to get them, without obeying them, is “faith without works, which is dead, being alone.”

Now this illustrates exactly the state of things in this world. God has created us to be happy, and this is the great aim of all his dealings with us. But the only way for us to be happy is, to form that holy, benevolent, self-denying character which Christ came to exhibit on earth. Such a character as this, none of us have, when we are born. On the contrary, we all form habits of living merely to seek our own selfish enjoyments. Young children find it hard to practise any self-denial, even for

their own good, and we all find it hard to practise self-denial for the good of others. And yet, submission of the will to God, and self-denial in securing our own good, and in doing good to others, are habits that are indispensable to our present and eternal happiness.

Now, Jesus Christ came into the world to save it from that long, lingering disease, which will certainly end in eternal death, if not remedied before we leave this world. And he comes to creatures, who have long been living in entire neglect of his advice and requirements, and in his holy word, he teaches them how to be healed.

You now can understand that all the directions given, mean one and the same thing. We become Christians when we submit to Christ as our Lord, and set out to obey his commands. And the terms “to become pious” and “to become religious,” mean the same thing. We “repent” when we are sorry for past neglect, and show that we are sorry by our future obedience. To be “converted” means to be “turned about,” and this is done when we cease to neglect the directions of Christ and

begin to obey them. To be “born again” means, to come into a new state of being, and this is true of us, when we cease to live for ourselves and begin to live for Christ. We “submit to God” when we take Jesus Christ as our Lord and Master, and submit our will in all things to his. When we are much engaged in any thing, we say we “give our whole heart to it,” and when we cease to give the feelings of our hearts to our own pleasures, and become most interested in pleasing Christ, then we have “a new heart,” that is, our chief interest is entirely changed. We were most interested in pleasing ourselves, but now we are most interested in doing the will of Christ. So we “believe in Christ,” and “have faith” in him, when we not only seek to know his will, but earnestly endeavor to do it.

So you perceive, my friends, there is no real confusion or difficulty in this matter. You can all of you begin, this very day, to be the followers of Jesus Christ, and thus to walk in that path, which secures true peace in this life, and eternal happiness beyond the grave. I hope, therefore, if you have not done it before, that

you will, this very day, take the Bible, which contains the directions of Christ, and go to your room and resolve to begin immediately to serve Christ, and pray to him to help you to persevere. And then every day, go alone and read in this blessed book, and pray for help in trying to conform all your conduct to it. This is the way to begin to be a Christian, and keeping on thus, and improving every day more and more, is the way “to grow in grace.”

But you will ask, perhaps, Can I convert myself? Is it not the Holy Spirit that changes the heart? To this I reply: No, you cannot convert yourselves, and it is the Spirit of God that changes the heart. All your determinations, and good resolutions, and continued efforts would be of no avail, without the help of God’s Spirit. But you have got one part to do, and the Bible teaches us thus, on this point: “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God that worketh in you to will and to do, of his own good pleasure.”

This then is our great encouragement to begin to do our part, and to keep on in our efforts to obey Christ. We are not left to our

own unaided efforts.—While we are working out our own salvation, God is working in us “to will and to do,” and this is our grand hope for success in our efforts. But perhaps you will think, that you must wait till you feel some great distress of mind, and have convictions of sin, and such other feelings as you do not find in your own mind. But, my friends, there is no need of waiting for any thing. Many persons begin to be Christians, without any such previous anxiety and distress. Begin, then, this very day to serve Christ by “denying all ungodliness.” If you are inclined to be careless, or to be fretful, or to be indolent, or to be heedless and forgetful, these are the points where you are to begin to “take up your cross” and follow after Christ. It costs us a good deal of self-denial, when we have careless habits, to cure them, or when we are irritable and fretful, to become meek and patient, or when we are indolent, to become industrious, or when we are negligent and forgetful, to become thoughtful and attentive. And it is in all such matters that Jesus Christ prescribes to us, “Deny

thyself daily, and take up thy cross and follow me.”

And we are very apt to undervalue our opportunities of doing good to others, and to forget that we can imitate Christ by “going about doing good.” The domestic who sets a good example to young children, and by words and acts helps to form their character aright, or who by her labours in the kitchen is contributing to the daily comfort of a household, and aiding the wife and mother to make a happy home to her husband, and to train up her children aright, she surely has a right to feel that she can imitate Christ by “going about doing good.”

Let us then, my friends, set about the duties of the lot our Saviour has appointed us, daily “looking unto him” as our pattern, our guide, and our Lord; daily praying to him for his help and protection, and then when he, who is Master of all the families of earth, shall appear, each of us shall hear his voice saying, “Well done, good and faithful servant, enter thou into the joy of thy Lord.”

---

Transcriber’s Notes

Variations in spelling and hyphenation remain as in the original.

The following corrections have been made to the original text.

Page 11: soon reached the[original has “t e”] ears

Page 16: on them by the benevolent[original has “enevolent”] king

Page 37: become lazy,[comma missing in original] ignorant[original has “gnorant”] and vicious

Page 62: twelve or fourteen[original has “orf ourteen”] hours of hard labour

Page 63: and it is[original has “it s”] becoming more and more

Page 73: become a neat[original has “eat”], industrious

Page 83: always secured for her[original has “he”] if possible

Page 85: way of raising the respectability[original has “respectablity”] of your employment

Page 85: never will be withheld[original has “witheld”]

Page 93: Eccles. 5:[original has a period] 19

Page 93: and setteth up kings.”[quotation mark missing in original] Dan. 4:[original has a period] 32

Page 134: shoot them and put an[original has “and”] end

Page 138: when this occurs a[original has extraneous comma] warning

Page 175: good plan to have a particular[original has “particalar”] evening

Page 185: you should try not to[original has “to to”] forget next time

Page 185: Always encourage[original has “enconrage”] them to try again

Page 189: would come down the[“the” missing in original] chimney

Page 190: labouring, and wearing out its[original has “ts”] strength

Page 196: all he has to feed the[original has “the the”] poor

Page 207: cut the slices three quarters of an[original has “and”] inch

Page 208: too small for his care and attention.[period missing in original]

Page 221: Where the mistress[original has misress] of the family does not arrange your work, always try[original has “alwaystry”] to have

Page 225: not the value of[original has “o”] the thing