IN NEVADA
Like an awful alligator
Breathing fire and screeching hell-some,
With a pack of hounds behind him,
As if hunted by the devil,
Came the smoking locomotive,
Followed by the cars and tender,
Down among the mountain gorges,
Till it stopped before a village
As the starry night came on.
Just before a mountain village,
Where there was a howling shindy
Just around a bran-new gallows,
With a roaring blazing bonfire
Casting a red light upon it,
While a crowd of roughest rowdies
Shouted, “Cuss him! darn his vitals!
Bust him! sink him! burn him! skin him!”
Evidently much excited
As the starry night came on.
On the gallows stood a culprit
Shrieking painfully for mercy.
As the train and engine halted,
Louder yelled the gasping victim.
Then out cried the grim conductor,
“What in thunder is the matter?
What’s ye doin’ with that feller?
Why’ve ye got both fire and gallows?”
And unto him some one answered,
As the starry night came on:—
“This all-fired, skunk-eyed villain,
Whom you see upon the gallows,
Lately stole the loveliest mewel[[11]]
That you ever sot your peeps on,
For a hundred shiny dollars,
Went and sold it to the Greasers;
But, as you perceive, we’ve nailed him,
And at present we’re debatin’
Whether we had better hang him,
Or else roast him like an Injun,
Ere the starry night comes on.
“And I think ez ther ar’ ladies
Here to grace this gay occasion,
In the train, and quite convenient,
We had better take and burn him.
’Twould be kinder interestin’,
Or, as folks might say, romantic,
To behold an execution,
As we do ’em here in Hell Town,
In the real frontier fashion,
Ere the starry night comes on.”
Up from all the assembled ladies,
And from all the passageros,
Went a scream of protestation,—
“What! for nothing but a mewel!
Only for a hundred dollars
Roast alive a fine young fellow!
Never, never, never, ne—ver!”
Falling on her knees, a damsel
Begged the maddened crowd to spare him,
And to her replied the spokesman,
As the starry night came on:—
“Since the lady begs it of us,
And as we ar’ galiant fellers,
We will smash the tail of Jestis,
And will spare this orful miscrint,
Ef you’ll raise a hundred dollars
To replace the vanished mewel.
Then this fiend, unwhipped, undamaged,
May go wanderin’ to thunder,
Soon as he darnation pleases,
Ere the starry night comes on.”
Straight among the pitying ladies,
And the other passageros,
Went the hat around in circle.
Dollars, quarters, halves, and greenbacks
Rained into it till the hundred
Was accomplished, and the ransom
Paid unto Judge Lynch in person,
Who received it very gracious,
And at once released the prisoner,
Sternly bidding him to squaddle,
Just as fast as he could make it,
Ere the starry night came on.
And the lady who by kneeling
Had destroyed the path of justice,
Seized upon the fine young fellow,
He who had the mulomania,
Or who was a kleptomuliac;
And she led him by the halter,
While the reckless population
Made atrocious puns upon it;
And she stowed him in the Pullman
As the safest sanctuary,
As the starry night came on.
It was over. Loud the whistle
Blew a signal of departure;
Still the dying bonfire flickering
Showed on high the ghastly gallows,
Seeming like some hungry monster
Disappointed of a victim,
Gasping as in fitful anger,
Pouring out unto the gallows
Or the sympathetic scaffold
All the story of its sorrow,
As the clouds passed o’er the moon-face,
And the starry night came on.
Soon the train and those within it
Reached and passed a second station,
And was speeding ever onward,
When at once a shriek came ringing—
’Twas an utterance from the lady
Who by tears had baffled justice;
Loud she cried, “Where is my hero?
Where, oh, where’s the handsome prisoner?”
And the affable conductor
Searched the train from clue to ear-ring,
But they could not find the captive.
He had clearly just evaded
At the station just behind them,
As the starry night came on.
Then outspoke a man unnoted
Hitherto: “I heard the fellow
Say just now to the conductor,
Ere we reached the second teapot,
That he reckoned he must hook it
This here time a little sooner,
If he hoped to get his portion
Of the hundred, since the last time
He came awful nigh to lose it;
For it might be anted off all
’Fore he got a chance to strike it,
Ere the starry night came on.”
And the Unknown thus continued:
“They hev hed that gallows standin’
All the summer, and the people
Mostly git ther livin’ from it,
For they take ther turns in bein’
Mournful victims who hev stolen
Every one a lovely mewel;
And they always every evenin’
Hev the awful death-fire kindled,
And the ghastly captive ready.
It’s the fourth time I hev seen it,
Comin’ through and never missed it;
Only for a variation
Now and then they hire a nigger
For the people from New England,
As the starry night comes on.
“And they find that fire and gallows
Just as good as a bonanza,
For they got the Legislater
Lately to incopperate it;
And I hear the stock is risin’
Up like prairie smoke in autumn.
Yes, in this world men diskiver
Cur’ous ways to make a livin’,
Ez you’ll find when you hev tried it
For a year or so about here.”
And the passengers in silence
Mused upon this new experience,
Most of all the fine young lady,
As the dragon darted onward,
And the starry night came on.
| [11] | Mule. |