SIX VILE VERBS
When I see on a poster
A programme which “features”
Charlie Chaplin and other
Delectable creatures,
I feel just as if
Someone hit me a slam
Or a strenuous biff
On the mid diaphragm.
When I read in a story,
Though void of offences,
That somebody “glimpses”
Or somebody “senses,”
The chord that is struck
Fills my bosom with ire,
And I’m ready to chuck
The whole book in the fire.
When against any writer
It’s urged that he “stresses”
His points, or that something
His fancy “obsesses,”
In awarding his blame
Though the critic be right,
Yet I feel all the same
I could shoot him at sight.
But (worst of these horrors)
Whenever I read
That somebody “voices”
A national need,
As the Bulgars and Greeks
Are abhorred by the Serb,
So I feel toward the freaks
Who employ this vile verb.