THE IMPERFECT ECONOMIST
“I wear my very oldest suits,
I go about in shocking boots,
And (bar potatoes) feed on roots,
And various cereal substitutes
For wheat, and non-imported fruits.
No meat my table now pollutes,
But, though I spare warm-blooded brutes,
I sometimes sup on frogs and newts.
I often spend laborious days
Supported by a little maize;
And rice prepared in divers ways
My appetite at luncheon stays.
From sugar I avert my gaze;
Unsweetened tea my thirst allays;
I never go to any plays
Or smoke expensive Henry Clays.”
Our excellent Economist
His pet extravagance forgets,
Which rather spoils his little list—
His fifty daily cigarettes.