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For I loved the girl!
I make that confession here again, absurd, ridiculous, grimly ironical though the declaration may seem.
I loved her. This I must say so that all of you ... men and women ... will understand, and believe!
I loved her. Notice: I met her on a sunny afternoon in May; and again on a moonlight night in June; and I found her beautiful; and I told her so.... To you cynics it may seem strange, incredible, to call that love! I can see you smiling!
But—all of you—look around among your memories, try to remember! You have all met your mistresses for the first time at some time or other. Before that, you were not in love. You began with simple curiosity; and your first kiss was a kiss of playfulness—“Once will do no harm!” And perhaps often it was the first and the last kiss.
But more often the first kiss gave you a longing for the second. The flirtation became passion, and the passion devotion. “Once!” “Again!” “And again!” And, finally, “Forever!” “For all our lives!”
Oh, yes, I know, I know! It was all a dream, and people cannot dream forever. The flesh is weak, and the spirit less enduring than the flesh. You wearied of each other! Forever became a year, six months, six weeks! Love, indifference, infidelity, estrangement, oblivion! Oh yes, I know, I know! But what of that? It was honestly that you loved each other! In good faith you swore: “I must have you with me forever!” In good faith you promised to love each other and cherish each other and cleave unto each other! And truly would you have laid down your lives that your mistresses might never die....
Smile then, if you wish, when I say that I loved her!