After Thoughts

By now we hope we have helped you clarify in your mind the kind of mate you want—and need. We have raised a good many thoughts you should bear in mind in selecting your mate. It is doubtful that you—or anyone—will find a mate who fits letter perfect into all the qualifications we have mentioned in the course of the book as desirable in mates, but that is not important. What is important is that your mate should fit into the general pattern of the kind of person you need, and should be free from the really serious short-comings we have mentioned.

Perhaps the most important single thought we can leave with you is that the person you marry should be one who will give you a sense of well-being. Marriage to this person should end your vague feelings of restlessness.

We know a young married couple who have “everything.” They live in a well-to-do suburb, belong to a country club and are not “tied down” by children. They go to many parties and on week-end excursions and eat out whenever they feel like it. Yet they go about their rush of activities with the bored futility of a dog chasing his own tail.

And we know another couple who are the kind some people would feel sorry for. They have four whooping youngsters that virtually pin them to the homestead and make outside social life impossible. They must fight a constant battle with living costs to get ahead financially. During most of their free moments they must work about their house, upholstering furniture, fixing leaking faucets or hanging storm windows.

Yet these two mates are immensely happy in marriage. They have a sense of purpose in life—a sense of well-being. They are so glad they are married to each other that they can shrug off the many irritations that beset them as unimportant. Both of them would confide to you that marriage is a wonderful, enriching experience.

Appendix A
Books You May Wish to Read

I. ADJUSTMENT OF THE VETERAN (In and after war).

1. Anon., Psychology for the Fighting Man. Washington: Infantry Journal, 1943.

2. Boring, Edwin G. (editor), Psychology for the Armed Services. Washington: Infantry Journal, 1945.

3. Child, Irvin L., and Van de Water, Marjorie (editors), Psychology for the Returning Serviceman. Washington: Infantry Journal, 1945.

4. Pratt, George K., Soldier to Civilian. New York: Whittlesey House. McGraw-Hill, 1944.

5. Redmond, Catherine, Handbook for Army Wives and Mothers. Washington: Infantry Journal, 1944.

6. Stevenson, Eleanor, and Martin, Pete, I Knew Your Soldier. Washington: Infantry Journal, 1945.

II. BASIC RESEARCH IN MARRIAGE (Technical research studies).

1. Burgess, E. W., and Cottrell, L. S., Predicting Success or Failure in Marriage. New York: Prentice-Hall, 1939.

2. Davis, Katharine B., Factors in the Sex Life of Twenty-two Hundred Women. New York: Harper and Brothers, 1929.

3. Dickinson, R. L., and Beam, Lura, A Thousand Marriages. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1931.

4. Hamilton, G. V., A Research in Marriage. New York: Albert and Charles Boni, 1929.

5. Terman, Lewis M., Psychological Factors in Marital Happiness. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1938.

III. CONTRACEPTION AND FAMILY SPACING (Birth control).

1. Cooper, James F., Technique of Contraception. New York: Day-Nichols, 1928.

2. Dickinson, Robert L., Control of Conception. 2nd edition. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1938.

3. Latz, Leo J., The Rhythm of Sterility and Fertility in Women. 5th edition. Chicago: Latz Foundation, 1935. (Recommended to Catholics.)

4. Welton, T. S., Modern Method of Birth Control. New York: Walker J. Black, 1935.

IV. FAMILY AND MARRIAGE PROBLEMS.

1. Baber, R. E., Marriage and the Family. New York: McGraw-Hill Book Co., 1939.

2. Drummond, Laura W., Youth and Instruction in Marriage and Family Living. New York: Teachers College, Columbia University, 1942.

3. Goldstein, Sidney E., Marriage and Family Counseling. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1945.

4. Groves, Ernest R., Conserving Marriage and the Family. New York: Macmillan, 1944.

5. Groves, Gladys Hoagland, Marriage and Family Life. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1942.

6. Hill, Reuben, and Becker, Howard (editors), Marriage and the Family. Boston: D. C. Heath, 1942.

7. Mowrer, H. R., Personality Adjustment and Domestic Discord. New York: American, 1935.

8. Nimkoff, M. F., The Family. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1934.

9. Burgess, Ernest W. and Locke, Harvey J., The Family. New York: American Book Company, 1945.

V. GETTING ALONG WITH PEOPLE (Improving personality).

1. Laird, Donald A., and Laird, Eleanor C., The Technique of Handling People. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1943.

2. Lockhart, Earl G., Improving Your Personality. Chicago: Walton Publishing Co., 1939.

3. Morgan, John B., and Webb, Ewing T., Making the Most of Your Life. Garden City, 1932.

4. Myers, Garry C., The Modern Parent. New York: Greenberg, 1930.

5. Newton, Roy, How to Improve Your Personality. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1942.

6. Webb, E. T., and Morgan, John J. B., Strategy in Handling People. Chicago: Boulton Pierce, 1930.

7. White, Wendell, The Psychology of Dealing with People. Revised. New York: Macmillan, 1941.

VI. INTERPRETATION OF MARRIAGE STUDIES (Not too technical).

1. Hamilton, G. V., and MacGowan, Kenneth, What Is Wrong with Marriage. New York: Albert and Charles Boni, Inc., 1929. (This is a popular treatment of Hamilton’s A Research in Marriage.)

2. Hart, Hornell, and Hart, Ella B., Personality and the Family. New York: D. C. Heath, 1941.

VII. MALADJUSTMENT AND NEUROTICISM (Mental hygiene).

1. Crow, Lester D., and Crow, Alice, Mental Hygiene in School and Home Life. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1942.

2. Fink, David H., Release from Nervous Tension. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1943.

3. Louttit, C. M., Clinical Psychology. New York: Harper and Brothers, 1936.

4. Shaffer, Laurance F., The Psychology of Adjustment. New York: Houghton Mifflin, 1936.

5. Solomon, Harry C., and Yakovlev, Paul I. (editors), Manual of Military Neuropsychiatry. Philadelphia: W. B. Saunders, 1944.

VIII. PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE (Easy to read and popular).

1. Bowman, Henry A., Marriage for Moderns. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1942.

2. Folsom, Joseph K., Plan for Marriage. New York: Harper and Brothers, 1938.

3. Foster, Robert G., Marriage and Family Relationships. New York: Macmillan Company, 1944.

4. Groves, Ernest R., Marriage. New York: Henry Holt, 1941.

5. Himes, Norman E., Your Marriage. New York: Farrar and Rinehart, 1940.

6. Jordan, Helen Mougey, You and Marriage. New York: John Wiley and Sons, 1942.

7. Jung, Moses (editor), Modern Marriage. New York: F. S. Crofts and Co., 1940.

8. Nelson, Janet Fowler, Marriages Are Not Made in Heaven. New York: Woman’s Press, 1939.

9. Popenoe, Paul, Marriage Before and After. New York: Wilfred Funk, 1943.

10. Popenoe, Paul, Modern Marriage. New York: The Macmillan Co., 1940.

11. Duvall, Evelyn M. and Hill, Reuben, When You Marry. Boston: D. C. Heath and Company, 1945.

IX. SEXUAL ADJUSTMENT (Inception, development, guidance).

1. Butterfield, Oliver, Marriage and Sexual Harmony. New York: Emerson Books, 1938.

2. Deutsch, Helene, The Psychology of Women. New York: Grune and Stratton, 1944.

3. Dickinson, R. L., and Beam, Lura, The Single Woman. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1934.

4. Haire, Norman (editor), Encyclopedia of Sexual Knowledge. New York: Eugenics, 1940.

5. Novak, Emil, The Woman Asks the Doctor. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1937.

6. Stone, Abraham, and Stone, Hannah M., A Marriage Manual. Revised edition. New York: Simon and Schuster, 1939.

7. Van de Velde, T. H., Ideal Marriage. New York: Random House, 1930.

8. Walker, Kenneth, and Strauss, Eric B., Sexual Disorders in the Male. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1941.

9. Wright, Helena, Sex Factor in Marriage. Revised edition. New York: Vanguard Press, 1937.

X. SEXUAL ANATOMY (Illustrated hand atlas).

1. Dickinson, R. L., Human Sex Anatomy. Baltimore: Williams and Wilkins, 1933.

XI. SEXUAL RESEARCH (Technical studies).

1. Landis, Carney, and Boller, M. Marjorie, Personality and Sexuality of the Physically Handicapped Woman. New York: Paul B. Hoeber, Inc., 1942.

2. Landis, Carney et als., Sex in Development. New York: Paul B. Hoeber, Inc., 1940.

3. Terman, L. M., and Miles, C., Sex and Personality. New York: McGraw-Hill Book Co., 1937.

XII. SYMPOSIUM ON WAR MARRIAGE AND ITS PROBLEMS (Institute addresses on “Preparing for Marriage,” “Counseling Married Couples,” and “Preserving the Family”).

1. Adams, Clifford R., and Kerr, James A. (editors), Proceedings of the Annual Institute on Marriage and Home Adjustment. State College: The Pennsylvania State College, 1944.

Appendix B
Marriage Counseling Agencies

The American Association of Marriage Counselors (Chairman, Lester W. Dearborn, 316 Huntington Avenue, Boston, and Secretary, Robert W. Laidlaw, M.D., 563 Park Avenue, New York) is a professional organization of qualified ethical marriage counselors. By writing either the chairman or the secretary, the name and address of a capable counselor in your vicinity may be obtained.

Other marriage counselors (or agencies) in colleges or universities are listed below, some of whom are affiliated with the American Association of Marriage Counselors.

Two nationally known reputable marriage counseling services are:

Index

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTE

Obvious typographical errors and punctuation errors have been corrected after careful comparison with other occurrences within the text and consultation of external sources.

Except for those changes noted below, all misspellings in the text, and inconsistent or archaic usage, have been retained.

Pg [60]: ‘Extensive psychotherepy may’ replaced by ‘Extensive psychotherapy may’.

Pg [64]: ‘complete physical infirmary’ replaced by ‘complete physical intimacy’.

Pg [68]: ‘them such exprestion’ replaced by ‘them such expression’.

Pg [76]: ‘for real archievement’ replaced by ‘for real achievement’.

Pg [90]: ‘or saxaphone playing’ replaced by ‘or saxophone playing’.

Pg [120]: ‘in marriage haappiness’ replaced by ‘in marriage happiness’.

Pg [134]: ‘critical and gossippy’ replaced by ‘critical and gossipy’.

Pg [151]: ‘shed all responsibilites’ replaced by ‘shed all responsibilities’.

Pg [158]: ‘of mental funtion’ replaced by ‘of mental function’.

Pg [174]: ‘perseverence and patience’ replaced by ‘perseverance and patience’.

Pg [178]: ‘glamorous because glamor’ replaced by ‘glamorous because glamour’.

Pg [201]: ‘expertely prepared and’ replaced by ‘expertly prepared and’.

Pg [202]: ‘each other’s opinons’ replaced by ‘each other’s opinions’.