EGYPT.—ST. JEAN D’ACRE.—THE DESERT.—ANECDOTES.
21st. About three o’clock, the Emperor called for his calash. He sent for me, and we walked together to the bottom of the wood where he had ordered the carriage to take him up. I had some particulars of no great moment to communicate, which personally concerned him. We observed, in the course of our ride, two vessels under sail for the island.
At dinner, the Emperor was very talkative. He had been just employed on his campaign in Egypt, which he had, for some time, neglected, and which, he said, would be as interesting as an episode of romance. In speaking of his position at St. Jean d’Acre, he observed:—It was certainly a daring thing to post myself thus in the heart of Syria, with only 12,000 men. I was 500 leagues from Desaix, who formed the other extremity of my army. It has been related, by Sydney Smith, that I lost 18,000 men before Acre, although my army consisted but of 12,000. An obscure person, M...., who had just left college, as it seemed, who knows nothing of what he describes, and whose only talent is that of tacking some sentences together, with a view, no doubt, of converting them to his emolument, the brother, however, of one whom I have loaded with favours, and who was one of my Council of State, has recently published something on that subject, on which I have cast a glance, and which vexes me on account of its silliness and the unfavourable colouring which he endeavours to throw over the glory and exploits of that army.
“Had I been master of the sea, I should have been master of the East, and the thing was so practicable that it failed only through the stupidity or bad conduct of some seamen.
“Volney, who travelled in Egypt before the revolution, had stated his opinion that that country could not be occupied without three great wars, against England, the Grand Signor, and the inhabitants. The latter, in particular, seemed difficult and terrible to him. He was altogether mistaken in that respect, for it gave us no trouble. We had even succeeded in making friends of the inhabitants, in the course of a short time, and of uniting their cause with ours. A handful of Frenchmen had thus been sufficient to conquer that fine country, which they ought never to have lost. We had actually accomplished prodigies in war and in politics. Our undertaking was altogether different from the crusades; the crusaders were innumerable and hurried on by fanaticism. My army, on the contrary, was very small, and the soldiers were so far from being prepossessed in favour of the enterprise that, at first, they were frequently tempted to carry off the colours and return. I had, however, succeeded in familiarizing them with the country, which supplied every thing in abundance, and at so cheap a rate that I was one time on the point of placing them on half-pay for the purpose of laying by the other half for them. I had acquired such an ascendancy over them, that I should have been able, by a mere order of the day, to make them Mahometan. They would have treated it as a joke, the population would have been gratified, and the very Christians of the East would have considered themselves gainers, and approved it, knowing that we could do nothing better for them and for ourselves.
“The English were struck with consternation at seeing us in possession of Egypt. We exposed to Europe the certain means of wresting India from them. They have not yet dismissed their apprehensions, and they are in the right. If 40 or 50,000 European families ever succeed in establishing their industry, laws, and government in Egypt, India will be more effectually lost to the English by the commanding influence of circumstances than by the force of arms.”
In the course of the evening, the Grand Marshal put the Emperor in mind of one of his conversations with Monge, the mathematician, at Cutakié, in the midst of the desert. “What do you think of all this, citizen Monge?” said Napoleon.—“Why, citizen general,” answered Monge, “I think, if there are ever seen in this place as many equipages as at the Opera house, there must first be some wonderful revolutions on the globe.” The Emperor laughed very heartily at the recollection. He had, however, he observed, a carriage with six horses on the spot. It was unquestionably the first of the kind that travelled over the desert, and accordingly it very much surprised the Arabs.
The Emperor remarked that the desert always had a peculiar influence on his feelings. He had never crossed it without being subject to a certain emotion. To him, he said, it was an image of immensity: it seemed to have no bounds, neither beginning nor end; it was an ocean on terra firma. His imagination was delighted with the sight, and he took pleasure in drawing our attention to the observation that Napoleon meant Lion of the Desert!...
The Emperor also told us that, when he was in Syria, it was a settled opinion at Cairo that he never would be seen there again, and he noticed the thievery and impudence of a little Chinese, who was one of his servants. “It was,” said he, “a little deformed dwarf, whom Josephine once took a fancy to at Paris. He was the only Chinese in France; thenceforth she would always have him behind her carriage. She took him to Italy, but as he was in the constant habit of pilfering, she wished to get rid of him. With that view, I took him with me on my Egyptian expedition. Egypt was a lift to him half-way on his journey. This little monster was entrusted with the care of my cellar, and I had no sooner crossed the desert than he sold, at a very low price, 2000 bottles of capital claret. His only object was to make money, convinced that I should never come back. He was not at all disconcerted at my return, but came eagerly to meet me, and acquainted me, as he said, like a faithful servant, with the loss of my wine. The robbery was so glaring that he was himself compelled to confess it. I was much urged to have him hanged, but I refused, because, in strict justice, I ought to have done as much to those in embroidered clothes, who had knowingly bought and drunk the wine. I contented myself with discharging and sending him to Suez, where he was at liberty to do what he pleased.”
On this subject I must observe that we were induced, in this place, to give momentary credit to a very singular coincidence. We were informed a few months ago, that on board one of the Chinese traders, which were then off the island, on their return to Europe, there was a Chinese, who said he had been in the Emperor’s service in Egypt. The Emperor instantly exclaimed, that it must be his little thief, whose story I have just told; but it was, in fact, a cook of Kleber’s.
The Emperor put a sudden stop to the conversation, and, with more gaiety than usual, turning to Madame Bertrand, said with a smile, “When shall you be at your apartments in the Tuileries? When will you give your splendid dinners to the ambassadors? But you will be obliged, at least, I am told so, to have new furniture, for it is reported that the fashions have entirely changed.” The conversation then naturally turned on the magnificence and luxury which we had witnessed under the Emperor.
PATERNAL ADVICE—REMARKABLE CONVERSATION—CAGLIOSTRO;
MESMER, GALL, LAVATER, &C.
22nd.—The Emperor came to my apartment about 10 o’clock, and took me out to walk. We all breakfasted under the trees. The weather was delightful, and the heat, though great, was not unwholesome. The Emperor ordered his calash; two of us were with him, and the third accompanied us on horseback. The Grand Marshal could not attend. The Emperor recurred to some misunderstanding which had taken place among us a few days before. He took a view of our situation and our natural wants;—“You are bound,” said he, “when you are one day restored to the world, to consider yourselves as brothers, on my account. My memory will dictate this conduct to you. Be so, then, from this moment!” He next described how we might be of mutual advantage to each other, the sufferings we had it in our power to alleviate, &c. It was, at once, a family and moral lesson, a lesson of feeling and conduct. It ought to have been written in letters of gold. It lasted nearly an hour and a quarter, and will, I think, never be forgotten by any of us. For myself, not only the principles and the words, but the tone, the expression, the action, and above all, the heart with which he delivered them, will never be forgotten by me.
About five o’clock, the Emperor entered my apartment where I was employed with my son, on the chapter of the battle of Arcole. He had something to say to me, and I followed him to the garden, where he resumed, at great length, the conversation that had taken place in the calash....
We now dined in the old topographical cabinet, adjoining to that of the Emperor, and the apartment formerly occupied by Montholon’s family, which, with the help of the books and shelves lately received from England, was converted into a tolerable library.
As the damage done by the fire in the saloon was long in repairing, we were obliged to continue at table in our new dining-room until the Emperor withdrew. This circumstance, however, gave additional interest to the conversation.
The Emperor was very communicative to-day. The conversation turned on dreams, presentiments, and foresights, which the English call second sight. We exhausted every common-place topic, ordinarily connected with these objects, and came at last to speak of sorcerers and ghosts. The Emperor concluded with observing, “All these quackeries, and many others, such as those of Cagliostro, Mesmer, Gall, Lavater, &c. are destroyed by this sole and simple argument: All that may exist, but it does not exist.
“Man is fond of the marvellous; it has for him irresistible fascinations; he is ever ready to abandon what is near at hand, to run after what is fabricated for him. He voluntarily gives way to delusion. The truth is, that every thing about us is a wonder. There is nothing which can be properly called a phenomenon. Every thing in nature is a phenomenon. My existence is a phenomenon. The wood that is put on the fire and warms me, is a phenomenon; that candle yonder, which gives me light, is a phenomenon. All the first causes, my understanding, my faculties, are phenomena; for they all exist and we cannot define them. I take leave of you here,” said he, “and lo! I am at Paris, entering my box at the Opera. I bow to the audience; I hear their acclamations; I see the performers; I listen to the music. But if I can bound over the distance from Saint Helena, why should I not bound over the distance of centuries? Why should I not see the future as well as the past? Why should the one be more extraordinary, more wonderful, than the other? The only reason is, that it does not exist. This is the argument which will always annihilate, without the possibility of reply, all visionary wonders. All these quacks deal in very ingenious speculations; their reasoning may be just and seductive, but their conclusions are false, because they are unsupported by facts.
“Mesmer and Mesmerism have never recovered from the blow dealt at them by the report of Bailly on behalf of the Academy of Sciences. Mesmer produced effects upon a person by magnetizing him to his face, yet the same person, magnetized behind, without his knowing it, experienced no effect whatever. It was therefore, on his part, an error of the imagination, a debility of the senses; it was the act of the somnabule[somnabule], who, at night runs along the roof without danger, because he is not afraid; but who would break his neck in the day, because his senses would confound him.
“I once attacked the quack Puységur, on his somnabulism[somnabulism], at one of my public audiences. He would have assumed a very lofty tone: I brought him down to his proper level with only these words: If your doctrine is so instructive, let it tell us something new! Mankind will, no doubt, make very great progress in the next two hundred years; let it specify any single improvement which is to take place within that period! Let it tell me what I shall do within the following week! Let it declare the numbers of the lottery, which will be drawn to-morrow!
“I behaved in the same manner to Gall, and contributed very much to the discredit of his theory. Corvisart was his principal follower. He and his colleagues have a great propensity to materialism, which is calculated to strengthen their theory and influence. But nature is not so poor. Were she so clumsy as to make herself known by external forms, we should do our business more promptly and know a great deal more. Her secrets are more subtle, more delicate, more evanescent, and have hitherto escaped the most minute researches. We find a great genius in a little hunchback; and a man, with a fine commanding person, turns out to be a stupid fellow. A big head, with a large brain, is sometimes destitute of a single idea; while a small brain is found to possess a vast understanding. And observe the imbecility of Gall. He attributes to certain protuberances propensities and crimes, which are not in nature, but arise solely from society and the conventional usages of mankind. What would become of the protuberance of theft, if there were no property; of drunkenness, if there were no fermented liquors; and of ambition, if there were no society?
“The same remarks apply to that egregious charlatan, Lavater, with his physical and moral relations. Our credulity lies in the defect of our nature. It is inherent in us to wish for the acquisition of positive ideas, when we ought, on the contrary, to be carefully on our guard against them. We scarcely look at a man’s features, before we pretend to know his character. We should be wise enough to repel the idea and to neutralize those deceitful appearances. I was robbed by a person who had grey eyes, and from that moment am I never to look at grey eyes without the idea, the fear, of being robbed? A weapon wounded me, and I am afraid of it wherever I see it; but was it the grey eyes that robbed me? Reason and experience, and I have been enabled to derive great benefit from both, prove that all those external signs are so many lies; that we cannot be too strictly on our guard against them, and that the only true way of appreciating and gaining a thorough knowledge of mankind is by trying and associating with them. After all, we meet with countenances so hideous, it must be allowed,” (and as an instance he described one; it was that of the governor,) “that the most powerful understanding is confounded, and condemns them in spite of itself.”
SINGULAR SERIES OF VEXATIONS, &C.
23d.—The Emperor called upon me about three o’clock. He wished to take a walk. He had a gloomy look, and had suffered much since yesterday. He was seriously affected by the intense heat during his ride in the calash. He had observed a new outer door which was making, and which would have altered the whole interior of the topographical cabinet and of Madame Montholon’s former apartment. He had not been consulted on the occasion, and was sensibly affected at it. He sent instantly for the person who had given the directions, and the wretched reasons he assigned served only to vex him still more. We had come out to walk; but it seemed decided that every thing was to irritate and put him in ill humour that evening. He saw some English officers on his way, and turned aside from them almost in anger, observing that shortly it would be impossible for him to put his foot out of doors. A few paces off he was joined by the Doctor, who came to tell him, unseasonably enough, of some arrangements that were making for him, (the Emperor) and to ask his opinion on the subject. It was one of the topics which, perhaps, hurt his feelings most. He made no answer, his ordinary resource against disappointment; but this time he kept silence with a fretfulness which he could not conceal. He came up with the carriage, and got in; but on our way we met some more English officers, and then he suddenly ordered the coachman to drive off, at a gallop, in another direction.
The new door-way, however, which had been made in the house without his knowledge, and which he found so inconvenient, still lay heavy on his heart. He was about to lighten the load by a lively playfulness with the wife of the person who had ordered it, and who happened to be in the calash. “Ah,” said he, “are you there? You are in my power; you shall pay the penalty. The husband is the guilty person; it is the wife that shall answer for him.” But instead of accommodating herself to the sense in which the words were uttered, which she might have done without the least inconvenience, and with the certainty of a satisfactory result, she persisted in making lame excuses for her husband, and repeating reasons, which served but to revive his dissatisfaction. Finally, to fill up the chapter of cross-purposes, one of us, on discovering the tents of the camp, informed him that the evolutions and manœuvres of the preceding day were in celebration of one of the great victories gained by the English in Spain, and that the regiment which executed them had been very nearly destroyed in that battle. “A regiment. Sir, is never destroyed by the enemy; it is immortalized,” was his only answer. It is true, that it was delivered very dryly.
For myself, I meditated in silence on this accumulation of contrarieties, which struck such repeated blows in so short a time. It was a precious moment for an observer. I estimated the mortification which they were calculated to produce, and I remarked with admiration, how little he betrayed. I said to myself: This is the intractable man, this the tyrant! One would have supposed that he knew what was passing in my mind, for, when we left the calash, and were a few paces before the others, he said to me in a low tone, “If you like to study mankind, learn how far patience can go, and all that one can put up with,” &c.
On his return, he called for tea; I had never seen him take any. Madame de Montholon was, for the first time, in possession of her new saloon. He wished to see it, and observed that she would be much better accommodated than any of us. He called for fire, and played at chess with several of us successively. He gradually recovered his natural temper and ate a little at dinner, which completely restored him. He indulged in conversation, and again reverted to his early years, which always possessed fresh charms for him. He spoke a great deal of his early acquaintances, and of the difficulties which some of them experienced in obtaining admission to him after his elevation, and observed that, “if the threshold of his palace was impassable, it was in spite of himself. What then,” said he, “must be the situation of other sovereigns in that respect!”
We continued the conversation until eleven, without noticing the lateness of the hour.
MADAME DE B—— —ANECDOTES RESPECTING
THE EMIGRANTS.
24th.—To-day the Emperor tried the billiard-table which had just been placed, and went out, but the weather being very damp, he returned almost immediately.
He conversed with me in his apartment, before dinner, on the emigrants, and the name of Madame de B...., who had been dame d’atours to Madame, and was very conspicuous in the commencement of our affairs, was mentioned. The Emperor observed, “But is not this Madame de B.... a very dangerous woman?”—“Certainly not,” I replied; “she is, on the contrary, one of the best women in the world, with a great deal of wit, and an excellent judgment.” “If that is the case,” said the Emperor, “she must have much cause to complain of me. This is the painful consequence of false representations; she was pointed out as a very dangerous character.”—“Yes, Sire, you made her very unhappy. Madame de B.... placed all her happiness in the charms of society, and you banished her from Paris. I met with her in one of my missions, confined within her province, and pining away with vexation, yet she expressed no resentment against your Majesty, and spoke of you with great moderation.” “Well, then! why did you not come to me, and set me right?”—“Ah, Sire, your character was then so little known to us, compared with what I know it to be at present, that I should not have dared to do so. But I will mention an anecdote of Madame de B.... when in London, during the high tide of our emigration, which will make you better acquainted with her than any thing I could say. At the time of your accession to the Consulate, a person, just arrived from Paris, was invited to a small party at her house. He engrossed the attention of the company, in consequence of all the particulars that he had to communicate respecting a place, which interested us so very materially. He was asked several questions respecting the Consul. He cannot, said he, live long, he is most delightfully sallow. These were his words. He grew more animated by degrees, and gave as a toast—The death of the First Consul! Oh horrible! was the instantaneous exclamation of Madame de B..... What, drink to the death of a fellow creature! For shame! I will give a much better one: The King’s health!”
“Well,” said the Emperor, “I repeat that she was very ill used by me, in consequence of the representations which were made to me. She had been described to me as a person fond of political intrigues, and remarkable for the bitterness of her sarcasms. And this puts me in mind of an expression which is perhaps wrongly attributed to her, but which struck me, however, solely on account of its wit. I was assured that a distinguished personage, who was very much attached to her, was seized with a fit of jealousy, for which she clearly proved that she had given no cause. He persisted however, and observed that she ought to know that the wife of Cæsar should be free from suspicion. Madame de B.... replied that the remark contained two important mistakes; for it was known to all the world that she was not his wife, and that he was not Cæsar.”
After dinner, the Emperor read to us parts of the comedies of the Dissipateur and the Glorieux, but he was so little pleased with them that he left off; they did not possess a sufficient degree of interest. He had a severe pain in his right side. It was the effect of the damp to which he had been exposed during his morning walk, and we were not without apprehensions of its being a symptom of the ordinary malady of this scorching climate.
On my return home, I found a letter from England, with a parcel, containing some articles for my toilet. The Griffin ship of war had just arrived from England.