FOOTNOTE:
[A] It is now quite common to omit marks of punctuation at the end of lines in an invitation.
CHAPTER III.
Dinners, Luncheons, Breakfasts, Teas,
Receptions, Dancing Parties, Cards,
Parties, Weddings, Wedding
Gifts, Wedding Anniversaries.
“Manners aim to facilitate life, to get rid of impediments.”
DINNERS.[B]
A “dinner” is supposed to be an elaborate affair, with numerous courses and ample service, and is usually given at seven or eight o’clock in the evening. At a dinner the number of courses naturally varies according to the taste and financial condition of the hostess. (For arrangement of the table, see [Chapter VI].)
For a formal dinner the courses usually consist of soup, fish, a roast with one or more vegetables, a salad, an ice or ice cream, cakes, bonbons, and black coffee. Olives and salted almonds, jellies, etc., generally appear in some of the courses.
Although the following really belongs under the head of “The Table” and “Service at Table,” a repetition here may not come amiss.
The attendant places each dish, in succession, before the host or hostess with the pile of plates. Each plate is supplied, taken by the attendant on a small salver, and set, from the left, before the guest. A second dish which belongs to the course is presented at the left of the guest, who helps himself. As a rule the woman at the right of the host, or the eldest woman, should be served first. As soon as a course is finished, the plates are promptly removed, and the next course is served in the same way. Before the dessert is brought on, all crumbs should be brushed from the cloth. The finger bowls, which are brought in on a napkin on a dessert-plate and set at the left of the plate, are used by dipping the fingers in lightly and drying them on the napkin. They should be half full of warm water with a bit of lemon floating in it. When all have finished dessert, the hostess gives the signal, by pushing back her chair, that dinner is ended, and the guests repair to the drawing-room, the oldest leading and the youngest following last, the men passing into the library or smoking-room.
Seemingly, one should arrive at the house where one is invited to a dinner or a luncheon at exactly the hour mentioned in the invitation; but the proper thing at a formal function is to get to the house ten minutes after the hour of the meal, and to be announced in the drawing-room five minutes later.
The host, with the guest of honor, leads the way into the dining-room at a dinner; at a luncheon the hostess leads the way alone or with one of the guests.
Fifteen minutes is the longest time required to wait for a tardy guest when the dinner hour was understood, as it always should be.
If the hostess thinks the visitor has no acquaintances in the room, she introduces her to two or three persons who are near her, and then, counting on her knowledge of the customs of society, she will feel quite sure that her guest will enjoy herself.
A hostess should never reprove a servant before a guest, as it is unpleasant for all concerned, and by passing over the annoyance herself, it may escape the attention of others.
No accident must seem to disturb a hostess, no disappointment embarrass her.
At formal dinner parties the servant who is detailed to attend to the wants of the men guests hands each one, as he leaves the dressing-room, an envelope containing a card bearing the name of the woman whom he is to take to dinner.