THE GOD-MAN AND MYSELF
I answered truly with both heart and head,
“Not guilty” of the things they said,
My plotting foes, with envy’s cruel rod;
Yet frailties mine oppressively controlled,
And perilous waves o’er me were rolled,
When lo! a symbol of the meek but mighty God.
Again I saw and loved the sinner’s Friend,
From first missteps to abysmal depths of his darkest end—
A friend to even me, a crushed clod.
But how, O Jesus, how
Can a stainless one, the such as thou,
Again receive a sinner like myself?
With weakened faith in thee, with pride and pelf
I went my way,
And leaned for stay
On feigned things that fell;
And down I dropped to hell,
A bitter burning hell,
A hell of fire, consuming fire within,
In a mind and heart of sin—
A fire which broke out all around,
Because the flame in me was found—
For in the human heart doth heaven and hell begin.
But I willed, not in such a state to dwell,
If, O Christ, I may return,
And once more learn
The power of thy love and grace.
While I may not behold the glory of thy face,
I only ask to see and to adore,
As many a penitent and I afore,
The prints of spear and nail which with utmost woe were driven,
Till thy life and all thy matchless wealth were given
For captive and vexed sinners like to me,
To set them free,
In hope of peace and heaven.
Since that awful day the changing seasons have faster flown,
And what must I to men make known?
After the passing of two thousand years
Of man’s bravest fights, greatest victories and fears,
With ofttimes self-imposed torment and tears,
Thy transcendent heights for me are more increased—
Thou savest me, the very least.
Thou ancient and invisible I Am
Art one with Heaven’s youthful, adorable Lamb,
For looking by faith behind the veil I see
The cross still piercing through thy very heart,
Thy great salvation to impart;
And herein I’ll glory eternally.
Accept my life and this my final, whole-hearted word,
O ever living, ever loving, most glorious Lord.