Our Show / A Humorous Account of the International Exposition in Honor of the Centennial Anniversary of American Independence, from Inception to Completion, Including Description of Buildings, Biographies of Managers, Receptions of Foreign Dignitaries, Opening Ceremonies, Poem, Oration, Amusing Survey of All Departments, Incidents, Etc., Etc.

by David Solis Cohen; H. B. Sommer

THE NATIONAL OR MARTHA WASHINGTON TEA PARTY.

TOAST
AND TEA.Under the supervision of their revered sovereign and her executive star chamber cabinet, the ladies transformed the Academy of Music and Horticultural Hall into one grand coffee house and sandwich caravansary. To save the expense of attendants, the aids themselves dispensed tea and coffee, smiles and gingerbread, bewitching glances and ham sandwiches to the thousands crowding the vast saloons. They attired themselves in old-time fashion to look like so many Mrs. Washingtons. Many a family cheerfully sacrificed its furniture covers to array its daughters in the style of costume made sacred by Martha. They stuck little blotches of black court plaster upon their chins, cheeks, and the tips of their noses, to imitate her venerated pimples, and dipped their heads into the family flour barrel to make their hair look like to hers.

Each ward represented one of the States of our Union, and the rivalry between their tables, though good-natured, was intense. At one table they sold tea made in Martha’s china tea pot; at another table they dispensed slices from a pie having its edges scalloped by her false teeth; while a third overtopped all competition and did an immense business, regaling customers with sausage manufactured from the remains of her pet poodle. The aids who dealt out this luxury seemed conscious of the sacred trust. Tears of patriotism dimmed the lustre of their lovely eyes.

They sold nosegays at the price of small conservatories, but pinned them on coat lappels without extra charge. They did more. With apparent cheerfulness, they accompanied male friends to the hall below, where the band played, and with them hopped and skipped, and glided and dipped, as if they were really enjoying themselves, and not sacrificing comfort to love of country.

The pecuniary result of this affair was most gratifying. The Finance Committee kindly acknowledged this fact to its special partner, requesting her to do so some more and keep the ball rolling. Yet still its grandeur was eclipsed, totally eclipsed, by the next great effort.