LETTER XVII.
Bidding adieu to the famous city of Aix-la-Chapelle, which, very untraveller-like, I passed without drinking of its waters, I pushed on, and soon arrived at the city of Juliers, the capital of a Dutchy of that name, sixteen miles from Aix. The Country itself is wonderfully fruitful, teeming with abundance of all sorts of corn, wood, pasture, woad, coal and cattle; above all, a most excellent breed of horses, of which great numbers are exported.
As to the city, though a capital, there was nothing in it that I thought worth attention——that of neatness is its greatest praise. It is not, like Liege, overloaded with enormous church edifices; but, what is much better, the People are opulent, the Poor well supplied, and all happy. In all likelihood, this is owing to the inhabitants being a mixture of Protestant and Roman Catholic; for, by a treaty between the Elector Palatine and the Emperor of Brandenburg, respecting the succession of the territories of the Duke of Cleves, both the Lutherans and Calvinists of this Dutchy, and of Berg, are to enjoy the public exercise of their religion, and all other religious rites.
If experience would allow us to wonder at any thing in the management of the Rulers of Nations, it must surely be matter of astonishment, that in an article of such consequence as eternity, and which must be directed by private sentiments alone, such violence should systematically be offered to opinion, and that Mankind should be dragooned, as they have been for so many weary centuries, into the profession of particular modes of faith. Combating opinion by force is so absurd, that I am sure those who have attempted it, never could flatter themselves with the slightest hopes of success. It is therefore clear, that it was in motives very different from real wishes for the eternal welfare of Man’s soul, that religious persecution originated. Political finesse and State stratagem are the parents of persecution: and until every Constitution is clean purged of religious prejudices, it must continue to be clogged with obstructions, and involved in confusion. If it be objected that certain religious sects are hostile to certain States, it may be answered, that they are so because the State is hostile to them. Cease to persecute, and they will cease to be hostile——Sublata causa tollitur effectus. It is folly, broad folly, to suppose that there are in any particular religion, seeds of hostility to government, any more than in any particular name, complexion, stature, or colour of the hair. Put, for experiment, all the men in the kingdom, of above five feet ten inches height[height], under tests and disqualifications, (and it would be full as rational as any other tests)——and, my life for it, they would become hostile, and very justly, too; for there is no principle, human or divine, that enforces our attachment to that Government which refuses us protection, much less to that which brands us with disqualifications, and stigmatises us with unmerited marks of inferiority.
The States of this Dutchy, and that of Berg, consist of the Nobility and the Deputies of the four chief towns of each; and they lay claim to great privileges in their Diets—but they are subject to the Elector Palatine, to whom they annually grant a certain sum for the ordinary charges of the Government, besides another which bears the name of a free gift.
Some Authors say that this town was founded by Julius; others deny it; the dispute has run high, and is impossible to be determined: fortunately, however, for Mankind, it does not signify a straw who built it; nor could the decision of the question answer any one end that I know, of instruction, profit or entertainment. Parva leves capiunt animas. Those who rack their brains, or rather their heads, for brains they can have none, with such finical impertinent inquiries, should be punished with mortification and disappointment, for the misuse of their time. But what else can they do? You say, Why, yes; they might sit idle, and refrain from wasting paper with such execrable stuff; and that would be better. By the bye, if there were two good friends in every library in Europe, licensed to purge it, like the Barbar and Curate in Don Quixotte, of all its useless and mischievous stuff, many, many shelves that now groan under heavy weights would stand empty.
Travelling over a very even road, and a country extremely flat, (for from Aix-la-Chapelle I met with but one hill), I arrived at Cologne, the capital, not only of the Archbishopric of that name, but of the Circle of the Lower Rhine. My spirits, which were not in the very best tone, were not at all raised on entering the city, by the ringing of Church-bells, of all tones and sizes, in every quarter. Being a stranger, I thought it had been a rejoicing day; but, on inquiry, found that it was the constant practice. Never, in my life, had I heard such an infernal clatter: never before had I seen any thing so gloomy and melancholy——the streets black——dismal bells tolling——bald-pated Friars, in myriads, trailing their long black forms through the streets, molding their faces into every shape that art had enabled them to assume, in order to excite commiseration, and begging alms with a melancholy song calculated for the purpose, somewhat like that of our blind beggars in London, and productive of the same disagreeable effect upon the spirits. In short, I was not an hour in Cologne, when those circumstances, conspiring with the insuperable melancholy of my mind, made me wish myself out of it.
Nevertheless, Cologne is a fine city; and if it be any satisfaction to you to spin those fine imaginary ligaments that, in the brain of the book-worm, connect the ancient and modern world, I will inform you, that it was anciently called Colonia Agrippina, because Agrippina, the mother of Nero, was born there, and honoured it with a Roman Colony, because it was her birth-place. The mind, forced back to that period; and contemplating the mischiefs of that monster Nero, cannot help wishing that Cologne had been burnt the night of her birth, and Miss Agrippina buried in the ruins, ere she had lived to give birth to that scourge of the world.
Although the established religion here be the Roman Catholic, extraordinary as it may appear, they are very jealous of powers and though the Elector, by his officers, administers justice in all criminal causes, they will not permit him, in person, to reside above three days at a time in the city, nor to bring a great train with him when he visits it; for this reason he commonly resides at Bonne.
Cologne has a very considerable trade, particularly in Rhenish wine; and its gin is reckoned the best in the world, and bears a higher price than any other in all the Nations of Europe.
Like all great Roman Catholic cities, it has a profusion of churches, crosses, miracles, saints, and church trinkets; and I really think it has more steeples and bells than any two cities in Germany. As Liege was called the Paradise of Priests, this ought to be called the Golgotha of Skulls and Skull-caps. In the church of Saint Ursula, they shew, or pretend at least to shew, the bones of eleven thousand Virgin Martyrs. The skulls of some of those imaginary Virgins are in silver cases, and others in skull-caps, of cloth, of gold, and velvet. And in the church of Saint Gerion, are no less than nine hundred heads of Moorish Cavaliers, of the army of the Emperor Constantine, (previous to that Saint’s conversion to Christianity), who they say was beheaded for refusing to sacrifice to idols: by the bye, the Popish Divines burn, instead of beheading, for not sacrificing to idols——Every one of those heads, however, has a cap of scarlet, adorned with pearls. The whole forms a spectacle, no doubt, equally agreeable and edifying. It struck me, however, as an extremely ludicrous sight, malgre the solemnity of so many death’s heads: and when their story was recounted, I could not help internally chuckling, and saying (rather punningly, to be sure), “Ah! what blockheads ye must have been, to suffer yourselves to be separated from your snug warm bodies, rather than drop down and worship an idol, in which so many good Christian Divines have shewn you an example!” This, you will conclude, I said to myself: an avowal of my sentiments in that place might have given my head a title to a scarlet cap and pearls; and as I had some further use for it, I did not think it expedient to leave it behind me in the Church of Saint Gerion——so, very prudently, kept my mind to myself.
Coming out of the Church, a multitude of beggars, all in canonicals, or student’s habits, surrounded, beseeching me for alms——one, pour l’amour de Dieu; another, pour l’amour de la Sainte Vierge; a third, pour le salut de notre Redempteur; a fourth, pour l’amour de Saint Gerion; and so on!
When I had gone as far as I wished in donations, another attacked me: though I told him my charity-bank was exhausted, he persevered, and was uncommonly solicitous——till at length, having exhausted the whole catalogue of Saints that are to be found in the Calendar, he raised his voice from the miserable whine of petition, and exclaimed with great energy, “Par les neuf cent tetes des Cavaliers Maures qui sont sanctifies au Ciel, je vous conjure de me faire l’aumone!” This was too formidable an appeal to be slighted; and so, in homage to the skulls and red caps, I put my hand in my pocket, and stopped his clamours.
Those miserable modes of peculation are the most pardonable of any produced by the Church: we have no right to regret a trifle sacrificed at the shrine of compassion, even when that compassion is mistaken; but our reason revolts at imposition, when it calls coercion to its aid, and assumes the name of right.
Without any national predilection, which you know I am above, I think our Church affairs in Scotland are arranged upon a better system than any other that I know of: hence their Clergy are in general examples worthy of imitation, for learning, piety, and moral conduct.