John Cheap, the Chapman's Library. Vol. 1: Comic and Humorous / The Scottish Chap Literature of Last Century, Classified

by Dougal Graham

LUMP OF OLD WOOD.

An aged man, named Thomas Wood, sitting on a high three footed stool in the gallery of the Old Church of Falkirk, during divine service, happened to fall asleep, tumbled on the floor with a great noise. The preacher stopped, and demanded the reason of the noise. “Nothing, Sir,” cries a wag, “But a lump of Old Wood fallen down.”