A DISCOURAGEMENT
One day in this great soul-struggle, he called at the home of one of the ministers to know just how to get rid of the great load of sins he was carrying. He was completely baffled and disappointed. The minister said: "It is like this: A man might be carrying a heavy sack of sand upon his shoulders, and if for some reason there should come a little hole in the bottom of the sack and the sand begin to escape, it would leak out so slowly that it would be sometime before the burdened man would realize any difference in the weight of his load, and only in the end, after it had all slipped through a little hole, would he awaken to the fact that the entire load was gone. Now, just so it is with your burden of sins. As you begin to seek God, they begin to run out, but you will not realize any change at first, and it will take some time for you to realize that your load of guilt is really gone after you are fully forgiven."
Poor father! He turned away sick at heart, for he longed for an instantaneous work to be done in his soul. Through this discouragement he gave up trying to find God and for many years continued in that unhappy, dissatisfied state of soul and mind, although he often desired to be a true Christian for the sake of his family as well as for his own peace of mind, and yearned to be able to "read his title clear to mansions in the sky."
In the spring of 1906 his brother and family came to make us a short visit before their departure from the homeland as missionaries to a foreign country. For some months they had been especially burdened that at least one of our relatives should be saved before they crossed the ocean to their mission field. Their pure, holy lives made a deep impression upon me, and through their earnest prayers and fastings for my poor soul, I was constrained to forsake sin and yield myself to the Lord. I was glad to embrace the privilege of being with the humble people of God who worship him in spirit and in truth, and to become one of them. I had a feeling, however, that my father might be displeased with me for making such a decision; but when I met him a few weeks later, my soul leaped with joy, for he expressed himself as being glad that I had given my heart to God, and even made a favorable expression concerning my decision to associate with the people of the church of God.
From this time I was much encouraged and determined to do what I could to help win my father and other loved ones to the Lord. I often read to him from the Bible and explained passages of Scripture as best I could, especially those that clearly taught a life of freedom from sin. Being a school-teacher, my work called me away from home much of the time, but the burden continued for the salvation of my father.