SEEING MY CONDITION
As God revealed this precious truth, I felt as though some one had said of me, "Doth Job serve God for naught?" and that God could not have justified me as he did Job. My own heart showed me self-seeking. I saw then that I had prayed to be blessed; that I had longed for satisfaction; that I had sought for joy and peace and love and spirituality, partly at least, that I might be satisfied and well pleased with myself, and, furthermore, that I might be considered spiritual among the brethren. Also, I was honestly anxious to be a blessing to others and in everything to be an "example of the believers." But to seek the Lord simply to please him never occurred to me, until I was reminded of his unselfish love for me. He desired me to be "all for him," not because my little all could make him any richer, but because it was only then that he could really be "all for me" and bestow upon me the riches of his love. A sentence from Fenelon made me more ashamed than ever. It reads something like this: "Would you serve God only as he gives you pleasure in serving him?"