Secrecy Guaranteed if Required.
Conscious as we are that the acquisition of an INSIDECOMPLETUAR is tantamount to a confession of ignorance, we have made arrangements for the complete deception of the neighbours of Fellows of the Royal Society, and Members of other learned Societies. Purchasers have but to express the wish and we will express the volumes packed to simulate alien articles, such as groceries, pianos, blocks of granite, pressed beef, hardware, cork lino, Derby Brights, coffins, or the Dictionary of National Biography.
The purchaser has only to fill up and return the appended form:—
To the Proprietors of the INSIDECOMPLETUAR BRITANNIAWARE.
SIR,—I enclose [here insert the amount of your first instalment] as a first instalment of the purchase-money of your inestimable boon. In sending the volumes please pack them to resemble [here insert whatever you wish the volumes to be so packed as to resemble].
Believe me, yours gratefully and admiringly,
[Here insert your name.]
Mr. Bernard Shaw writes: ‘So admirable were the precautions of your secret supply service that Mrs. Shaw is still under the impression that the cellar merely contains a year’s supply of Grape Nuts.’