X
Messrs. Greenery & Bills, Steam Bakery, Dumbridge.
Dear Sir,—After the offensive slur upon bakers in the current number of your paper we feel that we have no other course but to withdraw our advertisement; so please discontinue it from this date.
Yours faithfully,
Greenery & Bills.
XI
Mrs. Stirring to the Editor of “The Eastbury Herald.”
Sir,—I fear you have not done your best to check the progress of your slanderous paragraph, since only this morning I received the enclosed. You will probably not be surprised to learn that through your efforts the old-world paradise of Kildin, in which we had hoped to end our days, has been rendered impossible. We could not settle in a new neighbourhood with such an initial handicap.
Yours truly, Augusta Stirring.
(The Enclosure)
From “The Daily Leader”
The Triumph of Democracy
After lying empty for nearly two years Lord Glossthorpe’s country seat has been let to a retired baker named Stirring, etc., etc.
XII
Mrs. Michael Stirring to Mr. Guy Lander.
Dear Sir,—After the way that the good name and fame of my husband and myself have been poisoned both in the local and the London Press, we cannot think further of coming to live at Kildin Hall. Every post brings from one or other of my friends some paragraph perpetuating the lie. Kindly therefore consider the negotiations completely at an end. I am, Yours faithfully,
Augusta Stirring.
XIII
The Editor of “The Eastbury Herald” to Mr. John Bridger.
Dear Bridger,—You were too hasty. A man has to do the best he can. When I wrote “of course,” I meant it as a stroke of irony. In other words, I was, and am, and ever shall be, on your side. You will be glad to hear that in consequence of the whole thing I have got notice to leave, my proprietor being under obligations to Lord Glossthorpe, and you may therefore restore your patronage to “The Herald” with a clear conscience.
Yours sincerely, Edward Hedges.
XIV
The Editor of “The Eastbury Herald” to Mrs. Stirring.
The Editor of “The Eastbury Herald” presents his compliments to Mrs. Stirring for the last time, and again assures her that the whole trouble grew from the natural carelessness of an overworked and underpaid compositor. He regrets sincerely the unhappiness which that mistake has caused, and looks forward to a day when retired bakers and retired bankers will be considered as equally valuable additions to a neighbourhood. In retirement, as in the grave, he likes to think of all men as equal. With renewed apologies for the foul aspersion which he cast upon Mr. and Mrs. Stirring, he begs to conclude.
P.S.—Mrs. Stirring will be pleased to hear that not only the writer but the compositor are under notice to leave.