Scene Second

The Blackbird, the Pheasant-hen, later Chantecler

The Pheasant-hen
[Panting, tragically earnest.] I ran all the way.—You were there.—Oh, I am half dead with terror!—Well you must have overheard their dreadful secret! You, his friend!

The Blackbird
[Cheerfully rummaging among the moss.] Or the thigh of a katydid will do.

The Pheasant-hen
I was watching from a distance. I crouched in a ditch—[In an anguished voice.] Well?

The Blackbird
[In genuine surprise.] Well, what?

The Pheasant-hen
Their conspiracy—

The Blackbird
[Calmly.] It all went off very nicely.

The Pheasant-hen
What do you mean?

The Blackbird
The shadow was a correct and appropriate blue, and the Owls said perfectly characteristic things.

The Pheasant-hen
[In wild alarm.] Heavens, they plotted his death?

The Blackbird
His decease, which is not nearly so bad.

The Pheasant-hen
But—

The Blackbird
Don’t smite your brow! In spite of the Screech-Owl’s grave and self-important tone, I shouldn’t wonder if it all amounted to very little.

The Pheasant-hen
Those Owls—

The Blackbird
Are good enough in their various parts, but it’s the old excessive style of acting.

The Pheasant-hen
I beg your pardon?

The Blackbird
Back numbers!

The Pheasant-hen
Oh?

The Blackbird
They have eyelashes, fancy, all the way round their eyes! It’s too much of a good thing, really.—And that black plot, those desperately dark designs, all that belongs to the year one; you can see moss growing on its back!

The Pheasant-hen
[Fluttering hither and thither feverishly.] I am never quite sure of understanding when a person is talking in fun.

The Blackbird
[Winking at her.] No flies on your acting!

The Pheasant-hen
Surely you wouldn’t be laughing if he were in danger? Those ruffians—?

The Blackbird
Prattlers! Wooden Swords! Knights of Hot Air!

The Pheasant-hen
But Scops—?

The Blackbird
A stuffed Owl!

The Pheasant-hen
And the Great Bubo—?

The Blackbird
Just two ten-candle-power lamps, to be turned on and off with a switch,—crick-crack! And Flammeolus, two lamps likewise—but acetylene!

The Pheasant-hen
[Bewildered by his imagery.] And so—?

The Blackbird
No, trembling Gypsy, there’s not enough in this great plot to choke a flea withal!

The Pheasant-hen
Truly? I have been so horribly afraid—

The Blackbird
Fear, I warn you, lovely Zingara, leads to dyspepsia! It’s because he keeps his eye closed and buried in the sand that the ostrich has preserved his famous digestion!

The Pheasant-hen
So it might seem.

The Blackbird
We have in these latter days bowed Tragedy respectfully out of the house!

The Pheasant-hen
But had we not best warn Chantecler, so that—

The Blackbird
He would go instantly and challenge them. And then such a whetting of steel!

The Pheasant-hen
You are right. So he would.

The Blackbird
On your principle, mad Gitana, an oak-gall could be made into a world.

The Pheasant-hen
You have much good sense.

The Blackbird
Daughter of the forest, I have.

Chantecler’s Voice
[Outside.] Coa—

The Pheasant-hen
Chantecler!

Chantecler
[Approaching on the left, between the hollies, calls from afar.] Who is there?

The Pheasant-hen
It is I !

Chantecler
[Still from a distance.] Alone?

The Pheasant-hen
[With a significant look at the Blackbird.] Yes, alone.

The Blackbird
[Understanding.] I vanish—I am off to supper.

The Pheasant-hen
[Low to the Blackbird.] And so—?

The Blackbird
[Motioning her to be silent.] Keep it dark! [As he is leaving, by the right, in the manner of one giving an order to a waiter.] Earwigs for one!

The Pheasant-hen
[Low.] It is wiser, you think, not to tell him?

The Blackbird
[Before disappearing among the flower-pots.] Well, rather!