I.
When B——t [7] perceiv'd the beautiful Dames,
Who flock'd to the Chapel of Holy St. James,
On their Lovers the kindest Looks did bestow,
And smil'd not on him while he bellow'd below,
To the Princess he went
With Pious intent
This dangerous Ill in the Church to prevent:
"O Madam!" quoth he, "our Religion is lost
If the Ladies thus ogle the Knights of the Toast.
II.
"Your Highness observes how I labour and sweat
Their Affections to raise, and new Flames to beget;
And sure when I preach all the World, will agree
That their Ears and their Eyes should be pointed on me:
But now I can't find
One Beauty so kind
As my Parts to regard, or my Presence to mind;
Nay, I scarce have a sight of any one Face
But those of old Oxford and ugly Arglas.
III.
"These sorrowful Matrons, with Hearts full of Truth,
Repent for the manifold Sins of their Youth:
The rest with their Tattle my Harmony spoil;
And Bur—ton, An—sey, K—gston, and B—le [8]
Their Minds entertain
With thoughts so profane
'Tis a mercy to find that at Church they contain;
Ev'n Hen—ham's [9] Shapes their weak Fancies intice,
And rather than me they will ogle the Vice. [10]
IV.
"These Practices, Madam, my Preaching disgrace;
Shall Laymen enjoy the just Rights of my Place?
Then all may lament my Condition for hard,
To thresh in the Pulpit without a Reward.
Then pray condescend
Such Disorders to end,
And from their ripe Vineyards such Labourers send;
Or build up the Seats, that the Beauties may see
The Face of no brawny Pretender but me."
V.
The Princess, by rude Importunities press'd,
Tho' she laugh'd at his Reasons, allow'd his request;
And now Britain's Nymphs in a Protestant Reign
Are locked up at Pray'rs like the Virgins in Spain,
And all are undone
As sure as a Gun:
Whenever a Woman is kept like a Nun;
If any kind Man from Bondage will save her,
The Lass in Gratitude grants him the Favour.
[Footnote 7: Gilbert Burnet, Bishop of Salisbury, who in 1674 was preacher at the Rolls Chapel.]
[Footnote 8: Burlington, Anglesey, Kingston, and Boyle.]
[Footnote 9: Heningham.]
[Footnote 10: The Vice-Chamberlain.]