IV

The following Saturday I planned to take a trip to Doylestown. I had some relatives there whom I had not seen for some time and Fanny and Mary Hillpot had agreed to go with me. Their cousin lived there. I was doubtful about my ability to drive my car to the Hillpot house and experiment proved my doubt to be well founded. By making a strong spurt I succeeded in getting up the first hill but stuck fast on the second. I climbed the rest of the hill afoot. Mary was as pretty as a picture and I admired her very much. She certainly had beautiful teeth and was all smiles when I arrived. The girls were soon ready and we walked to the car and started. Mary was beside me and Fanny in the tonneau with some wraps, two umbrellas and some lunch. We were nearing Kintnersville when dark clouds began to pile up on the horizon and presently it began to rain. The girls were in the tonneau each with an umbrella and I was on the front seat with a rubber coat and hat. The rain came down in bucketfuls and then began to blow. The water collected in a pool on the front seat and ran down my leg into my shoe. The girls’ feet and skirts got wet and Mary began to cry. Fanny was just as wet but she laughed and seemed to be enjoying herself. I drove as rapidly as possible and got under a shed at Ferndale. Mary was as cross as a wet hen. Her hair had lost its curl, her hat was awry and she showed neither smile nor white teeth. The girls went into the hotel and after quite a long stay came out somewhat drier and ready to proceed. But Mary was sulky and disagreeable. After the shower passed over we started again, but now there was mud everywhere—thin splashy red mud that flew over everything. At Pipersville Hill it was necessary for the girls to walk up the hill and their feet were very muddy and wet. Between Pipersville and Plumstedville there was a swampy spot where the car stuck fast. Fanny helped me get stones to put under the wheels while Mary sat on the fence and glowered at us. Finally we got started again and reached Doylestown. Here we separated. While I was visiting my cousins a hostler washed the car and after it was ready I drove around, took the girls in and started for home. We got back without accident and then I visited the Oldit place. Sarah and Jane were at home but Miss Horner had not arrived. We sat on the front porch and the girls raked over the characters of all the neighbors. I found they had had a disagreement also with Miss Horner. There were several vicious digs given after she arrived and I departed somewhat depressed.

The next evening I took Sally to Dr. Camden’s to call on the young visitors. We found Jim Barkley there. He paid marked attention to Hetty Poiret all the evening. Occasionally he glanced at Sally or me but we avoided him as much as possible. We did not have a very pleasant evening. Searles and Kitty had been quarreling and were still skirmishing. We left early and walked home in the moonlight.

The next morning people who met me looked unusually pleasant and seemed amused. I could not understand it until I reached Sally’s house again. She met me at the door and called to her mother as I came in:

“Here he is mother! Now we shall see!”

“Did you know,” she said turning to me, “that Jim Barkley says that you were in Doylestown yesterday driving two girls in a red devil as drunk as a lord?”

“No,” I replied, “I did not. I was in Doylestown driving my red car and Fanny and Mary Hillpot were with me but I was not drunk. I had had nothing at all to drink.”

“There, Mother,” said Sally, “I told you he did not drink.”

“And did you know,” she continued, “that he says we stayed at a farm house together on Saturday night, and then he winks.”

“The dirty dog,” I said, “I think I can stop his mouth.”

Sally and her mother were both in tears but I comforted them by telling them that I would bring the farmer and his wife up next day. I did so and drove around to Dr. Camden’s house. I told the Doctor my story and asked him to question the farmer and his wife. He agreed to this and did so. Then I drove them to the bank and asked Mr. Davis, the President of the bank to listen to them in Jim Barkley’s presence. Jim declared that he had been misquoted but I brought Hetty Poiret to the bank to contradict him. Then I took the farmer and his wife back home after warmly thanking them.

That evening I went again to see Sally. She blushed beautifully as she opened the door. “Sally!” I said, “I came here to tell you that you are the dearest, sweetest, prettiest, smartest, nicest girl in the world, and that I love you, love you, love you.”

“Oh, do you?” said Sally, “I am so glad.”

“Did you ever hear of the young man whose ecstasy was so great under similar conditions that he broke the poor girl’s ribs?” I did not break Sally’s ribs but I held her tight and she laughed and her eyes sparkled and then she cried a little. Presently she said she must tell her father and mother. They all came in presently and shook hands with me and her mother kissed me. “If Sally loves you I must too,” she said, and then she wiped her eyes. They both looked sad. “You know, she is our baby,” her father said, “and it is pretty hard to lose her. Please be good to her.”

I said: “I don’t think I am much account, but Sally says she loves me and I’m sure I love her, and I will promise you to be good to her and try to be a better man every day.”

Well, we had a fashionable wedding in a month from that time. Jim Barkley was not present because he was looking for another job in New York. Sally and I have been married now for twenty years and have two fine boys in college. Sally is getting as round as a dumpling, but I like her so much I never notice what she looks like. Neither do the boys. So much kindness shines from her eyes when she looks at us that we see nothing else.

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Transcriber’s Notes

Note: The transcriber has corrected what were deemed to be obvious printer’s errors and normalized hyphenation where a predominant variant could be found. Archaic spellings have been retained. Changes to the text are listed below: