Who, or why, or which, or what,
Is the Akond of SWAT?
Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?
Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,
|
or SQUAT?
The Akond of Swat?
|
Is he wise or foolish, young or old?
Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,
|
or HOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,
And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,
|
or TROT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?
Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,
|
or a COT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
When he writes a copy in round-hand size,
Does he cross his T's and finish his I's
|
with a DOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Can he write a letter concisely clear
Without a speck or a smudge or smear
|
or BLOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Do his people like him extremely well?
Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,
|
or PLOT,
At the Akond of Swat?
|
If he catches them then, either old or young,
Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,
|
or shot,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Do his people prig in the lanes or park?
Or even at times, when days are dark,
|
GAROTTE?
O the Akond of Swat!
|
Does he study the wants of his own dominion?
Or doesn't he care for public opinion
|
a JOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
To amuse his mind do his people show him
Pictures, or any one's last new poem,
|
or WHAT,
For the Akond of Swat?
|
At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,
Do they bring him only a few small cakes,
|
or a LOT,
For the Akond of Swat?
|
Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?
Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,
|
or a DOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he like to lie on his back in a boat
Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,
|
SHALLOTT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?
Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,
|
or a SCOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?
Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,
|
or a GROTT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?
Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?
|
or a POT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,
When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,
|
or ROT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,
And tie it neat in a bow with ends,
|
or a KNOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?
When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,
|
or NOT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?
Does he sail about on an inland lake,
|
in a YACHT,
The Akond of Swat?
|
Some one, or nobody, knows I wot
Who or which or why or what
|
Is the Akond of Swat!
|