THE TRUE STORY OF SIMPLE SIMON.
BY HARRIETTE R. SHATTUCK.
ONCE there was a boy named “Simple Simon.”
He wasn’t a pretty boy, for his nose turned up at every thing, and the corners of his mouth turned down, and he was always crying for something he didn’t possess. He had a tooth come once, but instead of being glad that he had something to eat with, he cried all the time till he got two more teeth; and even then he wasn’t satisfied and he had to have twenty more; such a simple boy as he was!
He had nice little white dresses, but he didn’t like them and cried for pants and a jacket; and when he got those he wasn’t contented, but wanted some pockets! Just think what an unreasonable boy! They used to put him to bed at six o’clock, but a boy down town didn’t go to bed till eight, so he cried to sit up till eight; and when they had let him do so, was he content? Oh, no! he fussed until they had to allow him to go to bed only when the rest of the folks went. Only see what a silly boy!
They always gave him bread and milk for his supper, and sometimes strawberries and jelly; but he saw that his aunt had sponge cake and his uncle warmed-up potatoes, and he thought he must have them too, so he cried into his mug and daubed his chin with jelly until they had to give him cake and potatoes too. What a greedy boy!
His father gave him a pretty boat with white sails, and a flag on top, and he used to pump the sink full of water and sail the boat in it, but once he saw a pond, and then he cried to go and sail his boat on that, and when they took him there the pond wasn’t big enough! What could they do with that boy? He had a rocking-horse at Christmas and he rode on it as much as a week without complaining, but one day he discovered that his horse wouldn’t go ahead any—only up and down—and he got mad at it and pulled out its tail, and then cried for a real horse that would kick and go. But they couldn’t keep on giving him all he wanted, this funny boy!
He used to read out of a picture-book about “Jane and John,” and “the five pond lilies,” until he found a big book in the library that had long words in it which he couldn’t understand, and he teased and teased until he got somebody to tell him all about it. What an absurd boy he was getting to be!
Once a little lady gave him a daisy to wear in his button-hole, but he pulled it in pieces instead, and they had to tell him what every part was named. His father took him to an Art Exhibition, and he saw a big picture of horses and men, but he couldn’t admire it quietly, but had to feel of it and find out how it was done; and before he would consent to go home his father was obliged to buy him a paint pot and a brush; and he spent a whole week trying to paint a horse on one of the barn doors—and what a horse! and what a boy! Well, finally he was too big to learn at home, (as he already knew more than anyone else in the house) and they sent him away to the academy where he studied, like the rest of the boys—but when he found out that there were some books that the other boys didn’t study, then he insisted on learning those lessons, and he studied Turkish and Chinese and the Wealth of Nations, this wise boy who was no longer contented with doing only what others could do!
He never played base ball or cricket, or rowed on the river; these things were too common for him—other boys might do so, but he preferred to walk in the woods and pull bugs to pieces, write letters for the newspapers and talk in debating societies. Thus he was different from other boys, and that suited him—but still he didn’t feel satisfied yet, this restless boy! and he never did get satisfied in all his life, because it was impossible for him to be, though he became rich and was sent to Congress and even ran for the Presidency, with six or eight other boys. And I suppose if he had been chosen Emperor of Russia, he would still have wanted something better, he was such an ambitious boy!
So you can see why he was called “Simple Simon.” They might have called him a more disagreeable name still if he had been a girl, and acted so.