COMPLIMENTS FROM A FAMOUS FOREIGN ASTRONOMER.
M. de Lalande advanced to meet me—-I will not be quite positive it was on tiptoe, but certainly with a mixture of jerk and strut that could not be quite flat-footed. He kissed my hand with the air of a petit-maître, and then broke forth into such an harangue of éloges, so solemn with regard to its own weight and importance, and so fade[291] with respect to the little personage addressed, that I could not help thinking it lucky for the planets, stars, and sun, they were not bound to hear his comments, though obliged to undergo his calculations.
On my part sundry profound reverences, with now and then an “O, monsieur!” or “c’est trop d’honneur,” acquitted me so well, that the first harangue being finished, on the score of general and grand reputation, éloge the second began, on the excellency with which “cette célèbre demoiselle” spoke French!
This may surprise you, my dear friends; but You must consider M. de Lalande is a great discoverer.
Well, but had you seen Dr. Shepherd! he looked lost in sleek delight and wonder, that a person to whom he had introduced M. de Lalande should be an object for such fine speeches.
This gentleman’s figure, meanwhile, corresponds no better with his discourse than his scientific profession, for he is an ugly little wrinkled old man, with a fine showy waistcoat, rich lace ruffles, and the grimaces of a dentist. I believe he chose to display that a Frenchman of science could be also a man of gallantry.
I was seated between them, but the good doctor made no greater interruption to the florid professor than I did myself; he only grinned applause, with placid, but ineffable satisfaction.
Nothing therefore intervening, éloge the third followed, after a pause no longer than might be necessary for due admiration of éloge the second. This had for sujet the fair female sex; how the ladies were now all improved; how they could write, and read, and spell; how a man now-a-days might talk with them and be understood, and how delightful it was to see such pretty creatures turned rational!
And all this, of course, interspersed with particular observations and most pointed applications; nor was there in the whole string of compliments which made up the three bouquets, one single one amongst them that might have disgraced any petit maître to utter, or any petite maîtresse to hear.
The third being ended, a rather longer pause ensued. I believe he was dry, but I offered him no tea. I would not voluntarily be accessory to detaining such great personages from higher avocations. I wished him next to go and study the stars: from the moon he seemed so lately arrived there was little occasion for another journey.
I flatter myself he was of the same opinion, for the fourth éloge was all upon his unhappiness in tearing himself away from so much merit, and ended in as many bows as had accompanied his entrance.
I suppose, in going, he said, with a shrug, to the canon, “M. le docteur, c’est bien gênant, mais il faut dire des jolies choses aux dames!”[293]
He was going the next day to see Dr. Maskelyne’s observatory. Well! I have had him first in mine!
I was obliged on my return to the tea-room to undergo much dull raillery from my fair companion, and Much of wonder that “since the canon had such good preferment” I did not “marry him at once,” for he “would not come so often if he did not want it.”