MR. TURBULENT’s ANXIETY TO INTRODUCE MR. WELLBRED.
Windsor, Sunday, Jan. 28.—-I was too ill to go to church. I was now, indeed, rarely well enough for anything but absolute and unavoidable duties; and those were still painfully and forcibly performed.
I had only Miss Planta for my guest, and when she went to the princesses I retired for a quiet and solitary evening to my own room. But here, while reading, I was interrupted by a tat-tat at my door. I opened it and saw Mr. Turbulent.... He came forward, and began a gay and animated conversation, with a flow of spirits and good humour which I had never observed in him before.
His darling colonel[230] was the subject that he still harped upon; but it was only with a civil and amusing raillery, not, as before, with an overpowering vehemence to conquer. Probably, however, the change in myself might be as observable as in him,—since I now ceased to look upon him with that distance and coldness which hitherto he had uniformly found in me.
I must give you a little specimen of him in this new dress.
After some general talk,
“When, ma’am,” he said, “am I to have the honour of introducing Colonel Wellbred to you?”
“Indeed, I have not settled that entirely!”
“Reflect a little, then, ma’am, and tell me. I only wish to know when.”
“Indeed to tell you that is somewhat more than I am able to do; I must find it out myself, first.”
“Well, ma’am, make the inquiry as speedily as possible, I beg. What say you to now? shall I call him up?
“No, no,—pray let him alone.”
“But will you not, at least, tell me your reasons for this conduct?" “Why, frankly, then, if you will hear them and be quiet, I will confess them.”
I then told him, that I had so little time to myself, that to gain even a single evening was to gain a treasure; and that I had no chance but this. “Not,” said I, “that I wish to avoid him, but to break the custom of constantly meeting with the equerries.”
“But it is impossible to break the custom, ma’am; it has been so always: the tea-table has been the time of uniting the company, ever since the king came to Windsor.”
“Well, but everything now is upon a new construction. I am not positively bound to do everything Mrs. Haggerdorn did, and his having drank tea with her will not make him conclude he must also drink tea with me.”
“No, no, that is true, I allow. Nothing that belonged to her can bring conclusions round to you. But still, why begin with Colonel Wellbred? You did not treat Colonel Goldsworthy so?”
“I had not the power of beginning with him. I did what I could, I assure you.”
“Major Price, ma’am?—I never heard you avoided him.”
“No; but I knew him before I came, and he knew much of my family, and indeed I am truly sorry that I shall now see no more of him. But Colonel Wellbred and I are mutually strangers.”
“All people are so at first, every acquaintance must have a beginning.”
“But this, if you are quiet, we are most willing should have none.”
“Not he, ma’am—he is not so willing; he wishes to come. He asked me, to-day, if I had spoke about it.”
I disclaimed believing this; but he persisted in asserting it, adding “For he said if I had spoke he would come.”
“He is very condescending,” cried I, “but I am satisfied he would not think of it at all, if you did not put it in his head.”
“Upon my honour, You are mistaken; we talk just as much of it down there as up here.”
“You would much oblige me if you would not talk of it,—neither there nor here.”
“Let me end it, then, by bringing him at once!”
“No, no, leave us both alone: he has his resources and his engagements as much as I have; we both are best as we now are." “But what can he say, ma’am? Consider his confusion and disgrace! It is well known, in the world, the private life that the royal family live at Windsor, and who are the attendants that belong to them; and when Colonel Wellbred quits his waiting—three months’ waiting and is asked how he likes Miss Burney, he must answer he has never seen her! And what, ma’am, has Colonel Wellbred done to merit such a mortification?”
It was impossible not to laugh at such a statement of the case; and again he requested to bring him directly. “One quarter of an hour will content me; I only wish to introduce him—for the sake of his credit in the world; and when once you have met, you need meet no more; no consequences whatever need be drawn to the detriment of your solitude.”
I begged him to desist, and let us both rest.
“But have you, yourself, ma’am, no curiosity—no desire to see Colonel Wellbred?”
“None in the world.”
“If, then, hereafter you admit any other equerry—”
“No, no, I intend to carry the new construction throughout.”
“Or if you suffer anyone else to bring you Colonel Wellbred.”
“Depend upon it I have no such intention.”
“But if any other more eloquent man prevails—”
“Be assured there is no danger.”
“Will you, at least, promise I shall be present at the meet—?”
“There will be no meeting.”
“You are certainly, then, afraid of him?”
I denied this, and, hearing the king’s supper called, he took his leave; though not before I very seriously told him that, however amusing all this might be as pure badinage, I Should be very earnestly vexed if he took any steps in the matter without my consent.