LETTER CLXXXV.189.
To Captain Fitzgerald, Rose-hill, Berkshire.
Bellfield, Sept. 20.
All I feared has certainly happened; Emily has undoubtedly heard of this proposal, and, from a parade of generosity, a generosity however inconsistent with love, wishes to postpone our marriage till my relation arrives.
I am hurt beyond words, at the manner in which she has wrote to me on this subject; I have, in regard to Sir George, experienced that these are not the sentiments of a heart truly enamored.
I therefore fear this romantic step is the effect of a coldness of which I thought her incapable; and that her affection is only a more lively degree of friendship, with which, I will own to you, my heart will not be satisfied.
I would engross, I would employ, I would absorb, every faculty of that lovely mind.
I have too long suffered prudence to delay my happiness: I cannot longer live without her: if she loves me, I shall on Tuesday call her mine.
Adieu! I shall be with you almost as soon as this letter.
Your affectionate
Ed. Rivers.