CHAPTER XXX — MR. FRAMPTON'S INTRODUCTION TO A TIGER
“Had I been seized by a hungry tiger,
I would have been a breakfast to the beast.”
—Shakspeare.
“He started
Like one who sees a spectre, and exclaimed,
'Blind that I was to know him not till now!'”
—Southey.
“Go to, you are a counterfeit knave!”—Shakspeare.
“I HOPE you feel no ill effects from your adventure, sir: you resisted the fellow's attack most spiritedly, and would have beaten him off, I believe, if you had possessed a more serviceable weapon than an umbrella,” observed I to Mr. Frampton, as we drew our chairs to the fire after dinner.
“Umph! all right, sir, all right: a little stiff or so across the back, but not so bad as the tiger at Bundleapoor. I'm not as young as I used to be, and there's a difference between young men and old ones. Young men are all whalebone and whipcord, and it's nothing but hopping, skipping, and jumping with them all day long; when you're turned of sixty-five, sir, the whalebone gets stiff, the whipcord wears out, the skip and jump take their departure, and the hop becomes an involuntary accompaniment to the rheumatism—confound it! Umph!”
“You have been in India, I presume; I think I heard you refer to some adventure with a tiger,” returned I.
“I've been everywhere sir—north, south, east, and west. I ran away from school at twelve years old, because the master chose to believe one of the ushers rather than me, and flogged me for lying when I had spoken the truth. I ran away, sir, and got aboard a ship that was bound for the East Indies, and for five-and-forty years I never saw the white cliffs of Old England; and, when I did return, I might as well have left it alone, for all who knew and cared for me were dead and gone—all dead and gone, dead and gone!” he repeated in a tone of sorrowful earnestness. Then came an aside: “Umph! wonder what I told him that for; something for him to go and make fun of with the other young scapegraces, instead of minding their books:—just like me!”
“You must have seen many strange things, and met with various adventures worthy of note, in the course of your wanderings,” remarked I.
“I must have been a fool if I hadn't,” was the answer. “P'rhaps you think I was—umph! Young folks always think old ones fools, they say.”
“Finish the adage, sir, that old folks know young ones to be so, and then agree with me that it is a saying founded on prejudice, and at variance with truth.”
“Umph! strong words, young gentleman, strong words. I will agree with you so far, that there are old fools as well as young ones—old fools, who, in their worldly wisdom, stigmatise the generous impulses and warm affections of youth as folly, who may yet live to regret the feelings they have crushed, and the affections they have alienated, and find out that the things which they deemed folly may prove in the end the truest wisdom.” Then came the soliloquy: “There I go again—just like me! something else for him to laugh at; don't think he will, though—seems a good lad—wish t'other boy may be like him—umph!” He paused for a minute, and then observed abruptly, “Umph! about the tiger at Bundleapoor. You call to-night's an adventure, sir: wonder what you'd have said if you'd been there!”
“As I was not, would it be asking too great a favour, if I request you to relate the anecdote?”
“Aye, boy, boy, I see you know how to come round an old traveller: set him gossiping about all the fine things he has seen and done in his younger days, and you win his heart at once. Well, fill your glass, sir, and we'll see about it,” was the reply.
I obeyed, Mr. Frampton followed my example, and, after sipping his wine, and grunting several times to clear his throat, began the following recital:—
“Umph! ha! let me recollect. When I was a young shaver, having lived in the world some twenty years or so, I was engaged as a sort of supernumerary clerk in the house of Wilson and Brown at Calcutta; and, having no one else who could be so easily spared, they determined to despatch me on a business negotiation to one of the native princes, about eight hundred miles up the country.
“I travelled with a party of the — Dragoons, commanded by a Captain Slingsby, a man about five years older than myself, and as good a fellow as ever lived. Well, somehow or other, he took a great fancy to me, and nothing would do but that I should accompany him in all his sporting expeditions—for I should tell you that he was a thorough sportsman, and, I believe, entertained some wild notion that he should be able to make one of me. One unfortunate morning he came into my tent, and woke me out of a sound sleep into which I had fallen, after being kept awake half the night by the most diabolical howls and screams that ever were heard out of bedlam, expecting every minute to see some of the performers step in to sup, not with, but upon, me.
“'Come, Frampton, wake up, man,' cried Slingsby; 'here's great and glorious news.'
“'What is it?' said I—'have they found another hamper of ale among the baggage?'
“'Ale! nonsense,' was the reply. 'A shikkaree (native hunter) has just come into camp to say that a young bullock was carried off yesterday, and is lying half eaten in the jungle about a mile from this place; so at last, my boy, I shall have the pleasure of introducing you to a real live tiger.'
“'Thank ye,' said I, 'you're very kind; but if it's at all inconvenient to you this morning you can put it off: another day will do quite as well for me—I'm not in the least hurry.'
“It was of no use, however; all I got for my pains was a poke in the ribs, and an injunction to lose no time in getting ready.
“Before we had done breakfast the great man of the neighbourhood, Rajah somebody or other, made his appearance on his elephant, attended by a train of tawnies, who were to undertake the agreeable duty of beating. Not being considered fit to take care of myself—a melancholy fact of which I was only too conscious—it was decreed that Slingsby and I should occupy the same howdah. Accordingly, at the time appointed, we mounted our elephant; and having a formidable array of guns handed up to us, we started.
“As my companion, and, indeed, every one else concerned in the matter, evidently considered it completely as a party of pleasure, and seemed prepared to enjoy themselves to the utmost, I endeavoured to persuade myself that I did so too; and, consoled by the reflection that if the tiger had positively eaten half a bullock yesterday afternoon, it never could be worth his while to scale our elephant, and run the risk of being shot, for the sake of devouring me, I felt rather bold than otherwise. After proceeding for some distance through the jungle, and rousing, as it seemed to me, every beast that had come out of Noah's Ark, except a tiger, our elephant, who had hitherto conducted himself in a very quiet and gentlemanly manner, suddenly raised his trunk and trumpeted several times—a sure sign, as the mahout informed us, that a tiger was somewhere close at hand.
“'Now then, Frampton,' cried my companion, cocking his double-barrel, 'look out!'
“'For squalls,' returned I, finishing the sentence for him.—'Pray, is there any particular part they like to be shot in? whereabouts shall I aim?'
“'Wherever you can,' replied Slingsby; 'be ready—there he is, by Jupiter!' and, as he spoke, the long grass about a hundred yards in front of us was gently agitated, and I caught a glimpse of what appeared a yellow and black streak, moving swiftly away in an opposite direction. —'Tally ho!' shouted Slingsby, saluting the tiger with both barrels. An angry roar proved that the shots had taken effect, and in another moment a large tiger, lashing his sides with his tail and his eyes glaring with rage, came bounding towards us.
“'Now what's to be done?' exclaimed I—'if you had but left him alone, he was going away as quietly as possible.'
“Slingsby's only reply was a smile, and seizing another gun, he fired again. On receiving this shot the tiger stopped for a moment, and then, with a tremendous bound, sprang towards us, alighting at the foot of a small tree not a yard from the elephant's head.
'That last shot crippled him,' said my companion, 'or we should have had the pleasure of his nearer acquaintance—now for the coup de grâce—fire away!' and as he spoke he leaned forward to take a deliberate aim, when suddenly the front of the howdah gave way, and to my horror Slingsby was precipitated over the elephant's head, into, as it seemed to me, the very jaws of the tiger. A fierce growl and a suppressed cry of agony proved that the monster had seized his prey; and I had completely given up my friend for lost, when the elephant, although greatly alarmed, being urged on by the mahout, took a step forward, and, twisting his trunk round the top of the young tree, bent it down across the loins of the tiger, thus forcing the tortured animal to quit his hold, and affording Slingsby an opportunity of crawling beyond the reach of its teeth and claws. Forgetting my own fears in the imminence of my friend's danger, I only waited till I could get a shot at the tiger without running the risk of hurting Slingsby, and then fired both barrels at his head, and was lucky enough to wound it mortally. The other sportsmen coming up at the moment, the brute received its quietus, but poor Slingsby's arm was broken where the tiger had seized it with its teeth, and his shoulders and chest were severely lacerated by its claws, nor did he entirely recover the shock for many months.{1} And this was my first introduction to a royal tiger, sir. I saw many of 'em afterwards, during the time I spent in India, but I can't say I ever had much liking for their society—umph!”
This anecdote brought others in its train—minutes flew by apace, the wine grew low in the decanters, and it became apparent to me that if I would not lose the whole evening, and go home with my brains muddled beyond all possibility of reading, I must take my departure. Accordingly, pulling out my watch, I reminded Mr. Frampton of my previous stipulation to be allowed to run away as soon as dinner was concluded, adding that I had already stayed longer than was altogether prudent. The reply to this announcement was, “Umph! sit still, sir, sit still; I'm going to ring for another bottle of port”.
1 The main facts of the foregoing anecdote are taken from
Capt. Mundy's very interesting Pen and Pencil Sketches.
Finding, however, that I was determined, he gave up the point, adding: “Umph! well, if you must go, you must, I suppose—though you might refuse a worse offer;—but, if you really are anxious about your studies and wish to distinguish yourself, I won't be the man to hinder you—it's few enough of 'em are like you here, I expect”; then, sotto voce, “wish t'other young monkey might be”. “You hinted before dinner at some information I might be able to give you?” said I interrogatively.
“Umph! did I?—aye, so I did—you see, Mr. Lee, there's a young fellow at Trinity, about your age I should fancy, whom I used to know as a boy,—and—he was a very good boy—and—and—his mother's a widow; poor thing—a very nice boy, I may say, he was—and as I feel a sort of interest about him I thought that you might, perhaps, give one an idea of how he's going on—just a notion—you understand—umph!”
“Exactly, sir,” returned I, “and what may be the name of your friend?”
“Frank Fairlegh,” was the answer.
“You could not have applied to a better person,” replied I. “Frank Fairlegh!—why, he was one of my most intimate friends.”
“Was—umph!”
“Why, yes, it's more was than is, certainly—for since I've been reading hard, it's a positive fact that I've scarcely seen his face.”
“That looks as if he wasn't over fond of reading, then, eh?—umph!”
“You may put that interpretation upon it, certainly,” replied I, “but mind, I don't say it's the true one. I consider it would not be right in me to tell tales out of school; besides there's nothing to tell—everybody knows Frank Fairlegh's a good fellow—ask Lawless—ask Curtis.”
“Umph! Lawless? what? that wild young scamp who goes tearing about the country in a tandem, as if a gig with one horse wasn't dangerous enough, without putting on a second to make the thing positively terrific? he must be badly off for something to do, if he can find no better amusement than trying how nearly he can break a fool's neck, without doing it quite;—umph! Curtis—why, that's the name of the young gentleman—very gentle—who, the landlord tells me, has just been rusticated for insulting Dr. Doublechin, and fastening a muzzle and chain on one of the men they call 'bull-dogs,' saying, forsooth, that it wasn't safe to let such ferocious animals go about loose—nice acquaintance Mr. Frank Fairlegh seems to choose, and you know the quotation, 'Noscitur a sociis'.”
“Oh,” replied I, “but he has others; I have seen him in company with Mr. Wilford.”
"Wilford? the noted duellist, that scoundrel who has lately shot the son of Sir John Oaklands, as fine a young man as ever I set eyes upon?—for I have often seen him when I was living at Helmstone; if I thought, sir, that Fairlegh was a friend of that man—I'd—I'd—well, sir,” he exclaimed, seeing my eyes fixed upon him with a degree of interest I could not conceal, “it's nothing to you, I suppose, what I may intend to do by Mr. Frank Fairlegh! I may be his grandfather for anything you can tell to the contrary; and I may choose to cut him off with a shilling, I imagine, without its affecting you in any way—umph?”
“Scarcely so, Mr. Frampton,” replied I, turning away to hide an irrepressible smile, “if it is in consequence of what I have told you that you are angry with poor Frank.”
“Angry, sir, angry”—was the answer—“I'm never angry—there's nothing worth being angry about in this world. Do you take snuff, sir? I've some that came from—Umph! eh!” he continued, fumbling in all his pockets—“hope I haven't lost my box—given me by the Begum of Cuddleakee—splendid woman—only complexion too strong of the tawny—Umph! left it in the other room, I suppose—back in a moment, sir—Umph! umph!” and, suiting the action to the word, he went out, slamming the door behind him.
As the reader may suppose, I was equally surprised and pleased to find that my old friend not only remembered our former intimacy, but felt so warm an interest in my welfare as to have put himself quite in a rage on hearing of my supposed delinquencies. Although it had been the means of eliciting such strong indications of his continued regard for me, I felt half sorry for the deception I had practised upon him—the only thing that could be done now, however, was to make myself known to him without delay, and his absence from the room enabled me to put in practice a plan for doing so which I had had in my mind all along. Accordingly, going up to the chimney-glass I shook my hair forward, so that it fell in waving curls about my face and forehead—took the stiffener out of my neckcloth and, knotting the latter closely round my throat, turned down my shirt-collar, so as to resemble as nearly as possible the Byron-tie of my boyhood—then unbuttoning and throwing open my coat I resumed my seat, arranging the candles so as to throw the light full upon my face as I did so. I had scarcely completed my arrangements when I heard Mr. Frampton's footstep in the passage, and in another moment he entered the room. “All right, Mr. Lee, all right, sir; I found the box in my other coat-pocket; I was afraid the thieves might have forestalled me; but—Umph!—eh!—why?—who?” Catching sight of me as he spoke, he stopped short, and, shading his eyes with his hand, gazed earnestly at me, with a look half-bewildered, half-incredulous. Taking advantage of his silence I inquired in my natural tone and manner whether he had seen Dr. Mildman lately.
“Umph! eh! Dr. Mildman?” was the reply—“why it can't be—and yet it is—the boy Frank Fairlegh himself! Oh! you young villain!” and completely overcome by the sudden and unexpected nature of the surprise he sank back into a chair, looking the picture of astonishment.
Springing to his side, and pressing his hand warmly between my own, I exclaimed, “Forgive me for the trick I have played you, sir. I knew you the moment I heard your voice, when I was helping you up to-night, and, finding you did not recognise me, I could not resist the temptation of preserving my incognito a little longer, and introducing myself as a stranger.”
“Oh! you young scapegrace,” was the rejoinder, “if ever I forgive you, I'll—umph!—that I will”—then changing his tone to one of much feeling, he continued, “So you hadn't forgotten the old man then, Frank? good boy, good boy”.
I had seated myself on a stool at his feet, and as he spoke he patted my head with his hand, as if I had been a favourite dog.
“And all the things you said against yourself were so many lies, I suppose? Umph! you are no friend to the homicide Wilford?”
“True to the ear, but false to the sense, sir,” replied I. “Harry Oaklands is the dearest friend I have on earth; we love each other as brothers—between the man whose hand was so lately raised to shed that brother's blood, and myself, there can be little friendship—if I do not positively hate him, it is only because I would not willingly hate any one. Lawless was an old fellow-pupil of mine, and, though he has many follies about him, is at bottom more kind-hearted and well-disposed than people give him credit for; we still continue friends, therefore, but, our habits and pursuits being essentially different, I see very little of him—with Curtis I never exchanged half a dozen words in my life.”
“Umph! I understand, I understand; and how is Harry Oaklands? better again, eh?”
The reply to this query led to my being obliged to give Mr. Frampton a succinct account of the duel, and it was not till I explained my intention of trying for honours, and made him comprehend the necessity of my being fully prepared for the ensuing examination, that he would hear of my departure; and, when at last he did allow me to go, he insisted on accompanying me to the gate of Trinity, and made me promise to let him see me as often as I was able during his stay in Cambridge, where, he informed me, he proposed remaining till after the degrees wore conferred.