If You'd Marry
Advice to wimmin "On Marriage," by the Jumbler.
If the fish won't take your bait,
Do not tarry.
'Twill never do to sit and wait,
If you'd marry.
Gather up your hook and line,
Somewhere 'round the water's fine;
Change your bait and keep on tryin'!
That's the system!
Should one rise in reach of you,
Oh, be prayerful!
Take your gaff and run him through,
But be careful!
Hold him tight for all you're worth,
Of marryin' men there's now a dearth,
And then—there're widows still on earth!!
Curses on 'em!
If a widow steals a beau
That you're landing,
Practice up a knock-out blow—
Him demanding.
A perfect lady, though you've been,
Just you cave her features in!
Killin' widows ain't no sin—
Never will be!
