"ART" EXHIBITION
The elaborate "sell" which goes by this name used to be a regular institution in church bazaars and might well be rejuvenated as a novelty.
A regular printed catalogue is got up, containing apparently the names of a collection of pictures or sculptures, each object duly numbered and with the name of the artist appended. In some instances the name of a (supposed) picture is followed by an appropriate quotation in poetry or prose, after the orthodox fashion of art galleries. We append, by way of illustration, a selection from the catalogue of a collection which has met with great success: EXHIBITION OF THE WORKS OF LIVING ARTISTS
PART I. WORKS OF ART
1. Horse Fair After Rosa Bonheur. 2. A Brush With a Cutter Off Deal Carpenter. 3. Caught in a Squall Off Yarmouth Fisher. 4. The Last of Poor Dog Tray Barker. 5. "He Will Return, I Know He Will" Lent by the Trustees of the Parish. 6. The Midnight Hour. C. Lock. 7. Heroes of Waterloo. Schumacher. 8. True to the Core. C. Odling. 9. "Spring, Spring, Beautiful Spring!" Mayne. 10. "Tears, Idle Tears." Strong. 11. The Midnight Assassin. F. Sharpe. 12. The Dripping Well. T. Inman. 13. Family Jars. Potter. 14. Never Too Late to Mend. S. Titch. 15. Past Healing. Kobler. 16. The First Sorrow. Smalchild. 17. Saved. S. Kinflint 18. Lost 19. First Love. Sweet. 20. The Death of the Camel. After Goodall. 21. His First Cigar. A. Young. 22. A Good Fellow Gone. M. I. Slade. 23. Portrait of a Gentleman. Anonymous. 24. Portrait of a Lady. Anonymous. 25. Our Churchwardens. Screw. 26. Portraits of the Reigning Sovereigns of Europe. (Taken by special order). G. P. O. 27. Waifs of Ocean. Fish. "Strange things come up to look at us, The Monsters of the deep." 28. The Last Man. Unknown. 29. Contribution from the Celebrated Sheepsbanks Collection. Butcher. 30. The Light of Other Days. Dimm. 31. The Meet of Her Majesty's Hounds. Pratt. 32. Water Scene. "And I hear Those waters rolling from the mountain springs With a sweet inland murmur." 33. The Maiden's Joy. Bachelor. 34. The Fall. Adam. 35. Motherhood.
"She laid it where the sunbeams fall
Unscanned upon the broken wall,
Without a tear, without a groan,
She laid it near a mighty stone
Which some rude swain had haply cast
Thither in sports, long ages past.
There in its cool and quiet bed,
She set her burden down and fled;
Nor flung, all eager to escape,
One glance upon the perfect shape
That lay, still warm and fresh and fair,
But motionless and soundless there."
—C. S. Calverley.
36. A Friendly Party on Hampstead Heath. Moke. 37. Borrowed Plumes. Wigg. 38. Out for the Night. Anonymous. 39. Something to Adore. Anonymous. 40. The Weaned Grinder. Mayne Force. "Change and decay in all around I see." 41. Repentance. G. Templar. 42. Maggie's Secret. Rossetter. 43. Somebody's Luggage. S. Canty. 44. Eusebius. B. Linkers. 45. Happy Childhood. Wackford Squeers. 46. Not Such a Fool as He Looks. The Exhibitor. 47. A Choice Collection of Old China. 48. A Fine Specimen of Local Quartz Discovered in the Possession of a Workman. During the Building of the New Town Hall. 49. The Skull of the Last of the Mohicans. 50. A Marble Group. 51. Bust. 52. The Puzzle. 53. The Instantaneous Kid Reviver. 54. The Earnest Entreaty.
EXPLANATION
Anyone not in the secret, perusing the above catalogue, would naturally conclude that the descriptions referred to pictorial art of some kind or other. But such is by no means the case. The visitor, on being admitted, finds, in place of the expected pictures, shelves or tables on which are arranged sundry very commonplace objects, each bearing a numbered ticket. On close examination he finds that the numbers correspond with those in the catalogue, and that No. 1, "Horse Fair"—fare—is represented after a realistic fashion by a handful of oats and a wisp of hay. No. 2, which he expected to find a spirited marine sketch, is in reality only a toothbrush lying beside a jack-plane; while the supposed companion picture, "Caught in a Squall Off Yarmouth," is represented by a red herring. No. 4, "The Last of Poor Dog Tray," is a sausage, and the exhibitor particularly begs that no gentleman will on any account whistle while passing this picture. No. 5, "He Will Return, I Know He Will," presumably the agonized cry of a forsaken maiden, is in reality a poor-rate collector's paper, marked "Fifth application." No. 6 is represented by a numbered ticket only, with no object attached to it. The exhibitor explains that "The Midnight Hour" has not yet arrived, but that any gentleman who likes to wait till it does (which will be at twelve o'clock punctually), is very welcome to do so. The "Heroes of Waterloo," Wellington and Blucher, No. 7, are represented by a couple of boots known by those distinguished names. 8, "True to the Core," is a rosy-cheeked apple. 9 is a coil of watch spring. 10, "Tears, Idle Tears," on which the exhibitor feelingly expatiates as a noble example of the imaginative in art, is an onion. The space dedicated to No. 11 is occupied by the numbered ticket only, the exhibitor explaining that "The Midnight Assassin" (who is stated to be a large and lively flea) has strolled away and is wandering at large about the room; and he adds an entreaty that any lady or gentleman who may meet with him will immediately return him to his place in the collection. "The Dripping Well" (No. 12) proves to be of the description more usually known as a dripping-pan. "Family Jars," by Potter, is found to consist of a pickle jar and jam pot. No. 14, "Never Too Late to Mend," is a boot patched all over; while 15, "Past Healing," is its fellow, too far gone to admit of like renovation. "The First Sorrow" is a broken doll. "Saved" is a money box, containing twopence halfpenny, mostly in farthings. The next is a vacant space, over which the exhibitor passes with the casual remark, "No. 18, as you will observe, is unfortunately lost." No. 19, "First Love," is a piece of taffy. 20, "The Death of the Camel," is a straw, labeled "the last," and the exhibitor explains that this is the identical straw that broke the camel's back. "His First Cigar" is a mild Havana of brown paper. "A Good Fellow Gone" is suggested, rather than represented, by an odd glove. Nos. 23 and 24 are represented by two small mirrors, which are handed to a lady and a gentleman respectively, with a few appropriate remarks as to the extreme success of the likenesses, coupled with critical remarks as to the "expression" in each case. "Our Churchwardens" are a pair of long clay pipes. No. 26, "Portraits of the Reigning Sovereigns of Europe," are represented by a few cancelled foreign postage stamps. "The Monsters of the Deep," in No. 27, are represented by a periwinkle and a shrimp. "The Last Man" (No. 28), is at present missing from his place in the collection, but the exhibitor explains that he will be seen going out just as the exhibition closes. The "Contribution from the Sheepshanks Collection" (29), is a couple of mutton bones; while "The Light of Other Days" (30) is an old-fashioned lantern and tinder box. "The Meet (meat) of Her Majesty's Hounds" is a piece of dog biscuit. No. 32 is a leaky can of water. "The Maiden's Joy" (obviously) is a wedding ring. "The Fall" is a lady's veil. No. 35, "Motherhood," is the gem of the collection, and should be kept carefully hidden (say by a handkerchief thrown over it) until the company have had time to read and appreciate Mr. Caverley's graceful lines, when the veil is removed, and behold—an egg! No. 36, "A Friendly Party on Hampstead Heath," is represented by three toy donkeys. "Borrowed Plumes" are represented by a lady's false front. "Out for the Night" is an extinguished candle. "Something to Adore" is a rusty bolt. "The Wearied Grinder" is a back tooth of somebody's very much the worse for wear. "Repentance" (No. 41) is represented by a smashed hat and a bottle of sodawater. "Maggie's Secret" is a gray hair, labeled "Her First." No. 43, "Somebody's Luggage," consists of a broken comb and a paper collar. "Eusebius" is a pair of spectacles. "Happy Childhood" is indicated by a lithe and "swishy" cane. When the company arrive at No. 46, the corresponding object is apparently missing. The exhibitor refers to his notes and says: "46—46? I see they have written down against No. 46, 'The Exhibitor,' but I don't see quite what they mean. Suppose we pass on to the curiosities, ladies and gentlemen." No. 47 is merely some smashed crockery, and No. 48 a pewter quart pot. No. 49 is again a vacant space, and the exhibitor explains that "The Last of the Mohicans" has just gone home to his tea, and has taken his skull with him. No. 50 is, as its name implies, a group of marbles, of the school boy character. No. 51 is a paper bag of peas, and, being too full, has "bust." "The Puzzle" (No. 52) is an old guide book. "The Instantaneous Kid Reviver" is a baby's feeding bottle; and the "Earnest Entreaty" is the request of the exhibitor that the visitors will recommend the collection to their friends.
If the "showman" be possessed of a good fund of talk and a dash of dry humor, the fun of the collection may be still further enhanced by his explanations and criticisms of the various objects. Poor Artemus Ward's celebrated lecture is an excellent model to copy; indeed, many of his "bits" may be stolen bodily with very satisfactory result. Even without the aid of a showman, the comparison of the poetical descriptions and the sober reality will produce a good deal of fun; but, in this case, the various blanks or vacant spaces to be filled up by explanation must necessarily be omitted—a good many telling items being thereby sacrificed.