Dardistan in 1866, 1886 and 1893 / Being an account of the history, religions, customs, legends, fables, and songs of Gilgit, Chilas, Kandia (Gabrial), Dasin, Chitral, Hunsa, Nagyr, and other parts of the Hindukush, as also a supplement to the second edition of the Hunza and Nagyr handbook and an epitome of part III of the author's "The languages and races of Dardistan"

by G. W. Leitner

D. MARRIAGE.

In Gilgit it appears to be a more simple ceremony than in Chilâs and Astór. The father of the boy goes to the father of the girl and presents him with a knife about 1½ feet long, 4 yards of cloth and a pumpkin filled with wine. If the father accepts the present the betrothal is arranged. It is generally the fashion that after the betrothal, which is named: “Shéir qatar wíye, ballí píye, = 4 yards of cloth and a knife he has given, the pumpkin he has drunk,” the marriage takes place. A betrothal is inviolable, and is only dissolved by death so far as the woman is concerned. The young man is at liberty to dissolve the contract. When the marriage day arrives the men and women who are acquainted with the parties range themselves in rows at the house of the bride, the bridegroom with her at his left sitting together at the end of the row. The Mulla then reads the prayers, the ceremony is completed and the playing, dancing and drinking begin. It is considered the proper thing for the bridegroom’s father, if he belongs to the true Shín race, to pay 12 tolas of gold of the value [at Gilgit] of 15 Rupees Nanakshahi (10 annas each) to the bride’s father, who, however, generally, returns it with the bride, in kind—dresses, ornaments, &c., &c. The 12 tolas are not always, or even generally, taken in gold, but oftener in kind—clothes, provisions and ornaments. At Astór the ceremony seems to be a little more complicated. There the arrangements are managed by third parties; an agent being appointed on either side. The father of the young man sends a present of a needle and three real (red) “múngs” called “lújum” in Chilâsi, which, if accepted, establishes the betrothal of the parties. Then the father of the bride demands pro formâ 12 tolas [which in Astór and Chilâs are worth 24 Rupees of the value of ten annas each.]

All real “Shín” people must pay this dowry for their wives in money, provisions or in the clothes which the bride’s father may require. The marriage takes place when the girl reaches puberty, or perhaps rather the age when she is considered fit to be married. It may be mentioned here in general terms that those features in the ceremony which remind one of Indian customs are undoubtedly of Indian origin introduced into the country since the occupation of Astór by the Maharaja’s troops. Gilgit which is further off is less subject to such influences, and whatever it may have of civilization is indigenous or more so than is the case at Astór, the roughness of whose manners is truly Chilâsi, whilst its apparent refinement in some things is a foreign importation.

When the marriage ceremony commences the young man, accompanied by twelve of his friends and by musicians, sits in front of the girl’s house. The mother of the girl brings out bread and Ghi-cakes on plates, which she places before the bridegroom, round whom she goes three times, caressing him and finally kissing his hand. The bridegroom then sends her back with a present of a few rupees or tolas in the emptied plates. Then, after some time, as the evening draws on, the agent of the father of the boy sends to say that it is time that the ceremony should commence. The mother of the bride then stands in the doorway of her house with a few other platefuls of cakes and bread, and the young man accompanied by his bridesman [“Shunèrr” in Astóri and “Shamaderr” in Gilgiti,] enters the house. At his approach, the girl, who also has her particular friend, the “Shaneróy” in Astóri, and “Shamaderoy” in Gilgiti, rises. The boy is seated at her right, but both in Astór and in Gilgit it is considered indecent for the boy to turn round and look at her. Then a particular friend, the “Dharm-bhai”[49] of the girl’s brother asks her if she consents to the marriage. In receiving, or imagining, an affirmative, he turns round to the Mulla, who after asking three times whether he, she and the bridegroom as well as all present are satisfied, reads the prayers and completes the ceremonial. Then some rice, boiled in milk, is brought in, of which the boy and the girl take a spoonful. They do not retire the first night, but grace the company with their presence. The people assembled then amuse themselves by hearing the musicians, eating, &c.

It appears to be the custom that a person leaves an entertainment whenever he likes, which is generally the case after he has eaten enough.

It must, however, not be imagined that the sexes are secluded from each other in Dardistan. Young people have continual opportunities of meeting each other in the fields at their work or at festive gatherings. Love declarations often take place on these occasions, but if any evil intention is perceived the seducer of a girl is punished by this savage, but virtuous, race with death. The Dards know and speak of the existence of “pure love,” “pâk âshiqi.” Their love songs show sufficiently that they are capable of a deeper, than mere sexual, feeling. No objection to lawful love terminating in matrimony is ever made unless the girl or the boy is of a lower caste. In Gilgit, however, the girl may be of a lower caste than the bridegroom. In Astór it appears that a young man, whose parents—to whom he must mention his desire for marrying any particular person—refuse to intercede, often attains his point by threatening to live in the family of the bride and become an adopted son. A “Shîn” of true race at Astor may live in concubinage with a girl of lower caste, but the relatives of the girl if they discover the intrigue revenge the insult by murdering the paramour, who, however, does not lose caste by the alliance.

The bridegroom dances as well as his twelve companions. The girl ought not to be older than 15 years; but at 12 girls are generally engaged.[50]

The Balti custom of having merely a claim to dowry on the part of the woman—the prosecution of which claim so often depends on her satisfaction with her husband or the rapacity of her relatives—is in spite of the intercourse of the Baltis with the Shîn people never observed by the latter; not even by the Shîn colonists of little Tibet who are called “Brokhpá.”

When the bridegroom has to go for his bride to a distant village he is furnished with a bow. On arriving at his native place he crosses the breast of his bride with an arrow and then shoots it off. He generally shoots three arrows off in the direction of his home.

At Astór the custom is sometimes to fire guns as a sign of rejoicing. This is not done at Gilgit.

When the bridegroom fetches his bride on the second day to his own home, the girl is crying with the women of her household and the young man catches hold of her dress in front (at Gilgit by the hand) and leads her to the door. If the girl cannot get over embracing her people and crying with them quickly, the twelve men who have come along with the bridegroom (who in Astóri are called “hilalée” = bridegrooms and “garóni” in Gilgiti) sing the following song:—

INVITATION TO THE BRIDE.

1. 1. Nikàstalì
   2. Come out
   3. quáray kusúni
   4. hawk’s daughter.
   5. (“astali” is added to the fem. Imp).

1. 1. Nikastali
   2. Come out
   3. ke
   4. why
   5. karaníliè
   6. delayest thou!
   7. (“balanîle,” in Gilgiti).

1. 1. Nikastali
   2. Come out
   3. máleyn
   4. (from) thy father’s
   5. gutíjo.
   6. tent.

1. 1. Nikastali
   2. Come out
   3. ke
   4. why
   5. karaníliè.
   6. delayest thou.

1. 1. Né ro
   2. Do not weep
   3. tsharéyn
   4. waterfall’s
   5. baráye.
   6. fairy.

1. 1. Né ro
   2. Do not weep
   3. teyn
   4. thy
   5. róng
   6. colour
   7. boje.
   8. will go.

1. 1. Né ro
   2. Do not weep
   3. jaro
   4. brethren’s
   5. shidati.
   6. beloved.

1. 1. Né ro
   2. Do not weep
   3. téy
   4. thy
   5. róng
   6. colour
   7. boje.
   8. will go.

1. 1. Né ro
   2. Do not weep
   3. maleyn
   4. father’s
   5. shidati.
   6. beloved.

1. 1. Né ro
   2. Do not weep
   3. téy
   4. thy
   5. róng
   6. colour
   7. boje.
   8. will go.

Translation.

Come out, O daughter of the hawk!

Come out, why dost thou delay?

Come forth from thy father’s tent,

Come out and do not delay.

Weep not! O fairy of the waterfall!

Weep not! thy colour will fade;

Weep not! thou art the beloved of us all who are thy brethren,

Weep not! thy colour will fade.

O Weep not! thou beloved of fathers, [or “thy father’s darling.”]

For if thou weepest, thy face will grow pale.

Then the young man catches hold of her dress, or in Gilgit of her arm, puts her on horseback, and rides off with her, heedless of her tears and of those of her companions.