PRACTICE
1. The poppy can be raised in American gardens without danger of its becoming a menace as a weed, which makes its cultivation possible as a reminder of the soldiers who lie in Flanders Field. (400)
2. We can use this truck to move freight from the warehouse to the store whenever we need it. (401)
3. Mary told Leona her costume was perfectly becoming. (402)
4. Mrs. Fiske said to Miss Anglin that she (Miss Anglin) was the greatest actress in the world. (403)
5. Students who come to college merely to have a good time or because they have nothing else to do, and those who come without any deep seated desire for knowledge for its own sake should be denied the right to enter it. (404)
6. The University of Iowa is located part on one side of the Iowa River and part on the other. Many students, when the weather is good, paddle canoes upon it. (405)
7. I hardly knew anybody. (406)
8. Everyone is not more to be pitied than scorned. (407)
9. I felt that I must either make them a cake or that they would think me stingy. (408)
10. Roque is a game that is neither too easy nor is it without excitement. (409)
11. Nothing he said is worth while. (410)
12. We cleared away what the cyclone had left of the house, which had stormed through the valley during the night. (411)
13. The fire spread when we entered the village and destroyed everything. (412)
14. When she let him in much to his embarrassment she smiled broadly. (413)
15. At night she liked to walk out in the rain. (414)
16. Swimming around a bend in the river, the hospital is seen. (415)
17. I mistook her for an acquaintance, thus causing embarrassment. (416)
18. When climbing a wire fence, his shotgun went off. (417)
19. He became rich, due to oil in Mexico. (418)
20. In talking to Henry this morning, he said that he had been ill. (419)
21. He told me that his brother was an engineer and he would look into the matter. (420)
22. She would have had a great deal of trouble and, no doubt, failed in the end if we had not happened to come along. (421)
23. They learned to read French, ride horseback, and fence before they were graduated. (422)
24. There was no room for weaklings, invalids, or the disaffected. (423)
25. I was forced to refuse the invitation of the secretary and treasurer. (424)
26. Johnson knew his half brother, nephew, and cousin would be there. (425)
27. The regiment was raised for the honor of Johnson county and to drive the Spaniard out of Cuba. (426)
28. To live, to learn, to die is the sum total of existence. (427)
29. His uncle had an old car and which he used to drive to Solon. (428)
30. The instructor made an assignment but which everybody thought was too hard. (429)
31. Solomon was wiser than any man. (430)
32. Michael Angelo was the greatest of all other painters. (431)
33. Try as you may, one cannot do it. (432)
34. Everybody should save their money while they are young. (433)
35. He will have learned better by Sunday unless he never tried it again. (434)
36. Military training is all right for a young man, but don’t ask me to take any. (435)
37. Yesterday he was seen by at least ten people, and I myself saw him today. (436)
Chapter IX
SENTENCE VIGOR
Good sentences are characterized by correctness and clearness, but the best sentences possess a third quality. Effective sentences must entertain, persuade, or convince. To do these things, they must be graceful, vivid, forceful, and emphatic presentations of the writer’s ideas. The quality which makes correct and clear sentences effective is called vigor.
500. To emphasize pointedly, place material in a sentence by itself.
Unemphatic. The city council is determined to stop jaywalking at the east entrance of the campus, and to attain this end has adopted a plan that calls for restricting pedestrians to clearly marked lanes that cross Clinton street at right angles.
Emphatic. The city council is determined to stop jaywalking at the east entrance to the campus. To attain this end, the council has adopted a plan that calls for restricting pedestrians to clearly marked lanes that cross Clinton street at right angles.
Revise. I used to think that sleeping accommodations at fraternity houses were inadequate, but I don’t now.
501. Divide a sentence that seems too long.
Repellant. The collections at the museum, which is the most important in the world, are in two divisions, one for the public and the other for the use of specialists, some of whom come from great distances to avail themselves of the unequalled collections set apart for their use.
Attractive. The collections at the museum, which is the most important in the world, are in two divisions, one for the public and the other for the use of specialists. Some specialists come from great distances to avail themselves of the unequalled collections set apart for their use.
Revise. That there will be no tolerance of laxity on the part of the freshmen concerning the observance of this decree was assured by the strong language of the order, which first pointed out that the wearing of the green cap by first year men was a college tradition and must be upheld, then explained that the wearing of the cap was left to the honor of every freshman, who was expected to purchase one and use it according to the rules of the past two years, which state that the cap must be worn every day until six o’clock at night, when it may be changed for the more common headgear.
502. Condense wordy sentences.
Meandering. At a recent meeting of the men’s glee club, it was decided to increase the membership of the organization from thirty-two men to forty men.
Succinct. The men’s glee club recently decided to increase its membership from thirty-two to forty.
Revise. The names of the candidates for class offices were announced Wednesday by the election committee. There are thirty-six candidates for office.
503. Consolidate two or more short, jerky sentences into one smooth sentence.
Jerky. The annual interfraternity pajama race was run on Sheridan road Monday night. The event took place at eleven o’clock. It was hotly contested by five fraternities. The Sig Alphs won a shivering victory.
Smooth. The Sig Alphs won a shivering victory on Sheridan road at eleven o’clock Monday night, when they defeated four rival teams in the annual interfraternity pajama race.
Revise. The natives boil the chopped leaves to a syrup. This is poured into a monkey skin. The liquid is then allowed to cool and harden.
504. Vary the structure of successive sentences.
Monotonous. Around the sides of the armory on the floor were booths separated by curtains. In each one of the booths was suspended a small red incandescent light. Around the hall at various places were jars containing burning incense.
Pleasing. Around the sides of the armory on the floor were booths separated by curtains. A small red incandescent light was suspended in each booth. Incense burned in jars at various places around the hall.
Revise. The oldest book in the university library, to the best knowledge of the librarians, was printed in 1511. The book was written by Johannes von Kaiserberg Geiler, a preacher of the reformation who was born about the middle of the fifteenth century. This old work is entitled Navicula Sive Speculum Fatuorum, which translated means, The Ship or Mirror of Fools. It is written in Latin and contains many curious and interesting wood cuts. The book is made up largely of sermons.
505. Begin successive sentences with different words.
Dreary. D is the minimum standard for a passing grade. D students compose approximately the lowest twenty-five per cent of every class. D work is that work which is not up to average, and yet is clearly above failure.
Pleasing. D is the minimum standard for a passing grade. Students who are marked D compose approximately the lowest twenty-five per cent of every class. The grade D means that a student’s work is not up to the average, and yet is clearly above failure.
Revise. The military carnival was the largest exhibition of its kind ever attempted at the college. The seats were all filled, and the crowd was kept at a high point of interest throughout the entire show. The whole program was arranged in such a manner that at no time was there a lull in the activities. The opening number was a concert by the military band. The physical training exercises which followed were of the type in which the regiment itself gives the commands and then executes them. The most spectacular feature of the program was the advance to attack.
506. Vary the length of successive sentences.
Monotonous. The new building being erected south of the engineering building will be occupied Monday for the first time. Partition siding has held up the work to some extent. Fifteen hundred feet of partition material is still to be laid. Painting is progressing steadily. The steam fitters’ work is nearly completed. Work done after Monday will be carried on by a night shift. Some work on the halls can be done during class hours. Workmen say that the building was erected in record breaking time. It has taken less than a month to complete the job.
Pleasing. The new building being erected south of the engineering building will be occupied Monday for the first time. Partition siding has held up the work to some extent, and fifteen hundred feet of partition material is still to be laid. Painting is progressing steadily, and the steam fitters’ work is nearly completed. Work done after Monday will be carried on by a night shift, although some work on the halls can be done during class hours. Workmen say that the building was erected in record breaking time. It has taken less than a month to complete the job.
Revise. The seven-hundred-word sentence used by the legislature, however, is merely an example of the prevalent tendency of people to disregard the elementary principles of composition and grammar. Everyone may have a faint recollection of having studied, at some remote period of his career, the important rules of “unity, mass, and coherence.” But in actual practice one too often falls into the habit of expressing thoughts in a rambling and unconnected flow of words, with the expressions embellished by slang and colloquial terms. Individuals use many words, but they usually say little, and the small germ of thought is often hard to find.
507. Turn a loose sentence into a periodic sentence.
Feeble. The new engine will replace the present engine in case of necessity.
Forceful. In case of necessity, the new engine will replace the present engine.
Revise. This is not a student organization although the majority of its members are federal board students.
508. End a sentence with a striking word.
Lifeless. Bring along a team that will be able to force these boys to their utmost as no team has yet been able to do.
Striking. Bring along a team that will do what no other team has yet been able to do, force these boys to their utmost.
Revise. We should win Saturday’s game whether Minot can play or not.
509. Use climactic order in a series of words, phrases, clauses, or sentences.
Bungling. I have been so often reformed, regenerated, reborn, amended, and corrected that only with difficulty can I look an honest sinner in the face.
Brilliant. I have been so often amended, corrected, reformed, regenerated, and reborn that only with difficulty can I look an honest sinner in the face.
Revise. Their clothing is not sufficient for bodily comfort and is also far from presentable.
510. Put the most significant idea near the beginning or the end of a sentence.
Weak. The first speaker on the program was Dean Willard L. Sperry, who gave a short talk.
Strong. Dean Willard L. Sperry opened the program with a short talk.
Revise. There are more than six hundred courses offered to students in the college of liberal arts.
511. Keep closely related grammatical elements together.
Awkward. Cards will be distributed from eight to eleven this morning by members of the registrar’s staff at the east entrance of the natural science building to the hundreds of students who have returned during the past few days.
Well-knit. From eight to eleven this morning, members of the registrar’s staff, stationed at the east entrance of the natural science building, will distribute cards to the hundreds of students who have returned during the past few days.
Revise. This will, it is hoped, help the voter to select the men and women who are real leaders on the campus.
Revise. I want to most emphatically state that I do not believe a Union of South America is possible.
Revise. Appointment of George Hanby and Walter G. Phillips to confer with the president concerning the loan that is being made by the trustees to aid worthy students in meeting their necessary college expenses was made Wednesday.
512. Put the main idea in the main clause.
Characterless. The first talk of the series was given Tuesday morning, in which he made the point that it is man’s nature to pray.
Animated. Tuesday morning in the first talk of the series he made the point that it is man’s nature to pray.
Revise. He had saved $1,500,000 when one day his office boy ushered in a man who showed him a diamond of great value.
513. Put a subordinate idea into a subordinate construction.
Ungainly. Peet took Mead’s place at halfback last night and scored two touchdowns.
Graphic. After taking Mead’s place at halfback last night Peet scored two touchdowns.
Revise. Great stress will be laid upon the application of these tests in the future; the people of this country spend millions of dollars each year in giving musical training to children who have no talent for music.
514. Write simply.
Affected. Suffice it, that I am saving the best for the last.
Natural. I am saving the best for the last.
Revise. The river is too cold for careless plunges, and death-dealing cramps and chills may lead to drownings for those who beware not the perils that lie in April waters.
515. Avoid the use of far-fetched synonyms.
Silly. Fraternities can be a great force for the good of the college and for the good of the Greek letter man.
Natural. Fraternities can be a great force for the good of the college and for the good of the fraternity man.
Revise. More interest is being shown in the manly art this year than has been shown in any past season.
516. Be definite and particular.
Colorless. Many booklets were sent to freshmen before they came to college.
Vivid. Fifteen hundred copies of the Freshman Handbook were sent during July to as many prospective freshmen.
Revise. Last year several fraternities were put on probation.
517. Use parallel constructions for parallel ideas.
Jumbled. The speaker compared college students in their search for an education to the processes used by a tree to gain its food.
Clear-cut. The speaker compared a college student in search of an education to a tree in search of food.
Revise. To be narrow is to be a helpless journalist.
518. Repeat a prominent word or phrase for greater emphasis.
Weak. Farsighted citizens of the town are realizing more than ever the possibility of the university’s becoming one of the first universities in America, not only in enrollment but also in scholastic standing.
Strong. Farsighted citizens of the town are realizing more than ever the possibility of the university’s becoming one of the first universities in America, first not only in enrollment but first also in scholastic standing.
Revise. The progress in French affairs has always been slow—sometimes too much so.
519. Avoid the monotonous repetition of words, phrases, or even syllables.
Flat. The stiff collars that are being shown for formal evening wear are the wing collars.
Skilful. Stiff wing collars are being shown for formal evening wear.
Revise. In the senior class the race for president will be a close one, as Burgess, Elwood, and Sampson are expected to run a close race.
Revise. The county superintendents who will gather here for the conference will in part comprise the group of participants in the huge birthday party of the college of education.
520. Avoid tautology.
Uncouth. These concerts are open to the public, and everyone is invited.
Pithy. These concerts are open to the public.
Revise. Dean Smith is a native of Ohio and was born in Central City.
Revise. Classes in folk dancing will start Monday morning at nine A.M.
Revise. The coeducation of both sexes is making remarkable headway in this country.
Revise. She is the widow of the late Colonel Ralph H. Robinson.
Revise. Let’s us go.
521. Avoid pleonasm.
Stupid. As I enter on this famed profession I see the mistakes of others.
Terse. As I enter this famed profession I see the mistakes of others.
Revise. There is an average of 55,000 kilowats used monthly.
522. Avoid the use of the same word in two senses in the same sentence, or in sentences near together.
Clumsy. Because there is no school available, school will be dismissed next week.
Graceful. Because no building is available, school will be dismissed next week.
Revise. The girls may survive whacks with hockey clubs and yet not be able to stand the severe test of initiation into M. C. club.
523. Keep the same metaphor throughout the sentence.
Lame. Mrs. Mondell had the edge in the race until circumstances forced her to show her hand.
Sprightly. Mrs. Mondell had the game won until circumstances forced her to show her hand.
Revise. Pronouncements against the League of Nations suddenly lose their cloak of virile Americanism and savor only of party politics when the state department places the stamp of its approval on the Chester oil concessions.
524. Avoid incongruous metaphors.
Absurd. The two hundred freshmen took their new places after the first melee was staged.
Picturesque. The two hundred freshmen took their new places after the resounding blows of the first melee ceased.
Revise. Walter Scannell, sporting editor of the News, will act as referee.
525. Sentences should sing.
Crude. Such a critic fails to consider the fraternity spirit of the group—the avowed aim of the group.
Rhythmical. Such a critic fails to consider the avowed aim of the group, its fraternal spirit.
Revise. Neither is it always wrong, be it remembered.
526. Put an epigrammatic idea into a balanced sentence.
Unskilful. The essential things in life are the ones that count, and the essential thing in education is to find that.
Adroit. The essential thing in education is to find the essential things in life.
Revise. Tenure here depends not upon the quality of fur in your coat but upon the quality of your thinking apparatus.
527. Make the most vivid verb in a sentence the predicate.
Dull. He was found circling a piece of furniture in the center of the room.
Lively. When found he was circling a piece of furniture in the center of the room.
Revise. They went home, stumbling from one side of the street to the other.
528. Use the active voice rather than the passive.
Spiritless. The glucose was heated and then applied to the blindfolded freshmen.
Stirring. The sophomores heated the glucose and applied it to the blindfolded freshmen.
Revise. The article appearing in the Firing Line column last Sunday above my name was not written by me.
529. Substitute a clause or a dependent phrase for an awkward absolute phrase.
Involved. What he said about the work was favorable, he being a man who leans to censure rather than to praise.
Straightforward. What he said about the work was favorable, for he is a man who leans to censure rather than to praise.
Revise. His work having been done he stopped.
Revise. It being his first visit to the city, he was interested in the many large houses.
530. Avoid successive subordinations similar in form and dependent one on another.
Awkward. I have an economics instructor who is a middle-aged man who has had ten years’ experience as vice-president of a bank in New York City.
Smooth. I have an economics instructor who is a middle-aged man with ten years’ experience as vice-president of a bank in New York City.
Revise. He eventually tired of the life of a mere henchman of the political boss of the Sixteenth ward.
531. Avoid successive but or for clauses.
Jerky. But when I had gone about a mile I thought I could go no farther, but I kept on.
Smooth. When I had gone about a mile I thought I could go no farther, but I kept on.
Revise. I wanted to leave town, for I was disgusted with the place, for I had not made a single friend.