LETTER XXI.
ABEL KEENE.
[Cœpisti] melius quam [desinis]: ultima primis
Cedunt. Dissimiles: hic vir et ille puer.
Ovid. Deïanira Herculi [Heroid. VIII. vv. 23-4].
Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that, in the latter times, some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils.
[I] Epistle to Timothy, [ch. IV. v. 1].
Abel, a poor Man, Teacher of a School of the lower Order; is placed in the Office of a Merchant; is alarmed by Discourses of the Clerks; unable to reply; becomes a Convert; dresses, drinks, and ridicules his former Conduct—The Remonstrance of his Sister, a devout Maiden—Its Effect—The Merchant dies—Abel returns to Poverty unpitied; but relieved—His abject Condition—His Melancholy—He wanders about: is found—His own Account of himself, and the Revolutions in his Mind.
LETTER XXI.
ABEL KEENE.
A quiet simple man was Abel Keene;
He meant no harm, nor did he often mean.
He kept a school of loud rebellious boys,
And growing old, grew nervous with the noise;
When a kind merchant hired his useful pen,
And made him happiest of accompting men;
With glee he rose to every easy day,
When half the labour brought him twice the pay.
There were young clerks, and there the merchant's son,
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Choice spirits all, who wish'd him to be one;
It must, no question, give them lively joy,
Hopes long indulged, to combat and destroy;
At these they level'd all their skill and strength—
He fell not quickly, but he fell at length.
They quoted books, to him both bold and new,
And scorn'd as fables all he held as true—
"Such monkish stories and such nursery lies,"
That he was struck with terror and surprise.
"What! all his life had he the laws obey'd,
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Which they broke through and were not once afraid?
Had he so long his evil passions check'd,
And yet at last had nothing to expect?
While they their lives in joy and pleasure led,
And then had nothing, at the end, to dread?
Was all his priest with so much zeal convey'd,
A part! a speech! for which the man was paid?
And were his pious books, his solemn prayers,
Not worth one tale of the admired Voltaire's?
Then was it time, while yet some years remain'd,
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To drink untroubled and to think unchain'd,
And on all pleasures, which his purse could give,
Freely to seize, and while he lived, to live."
Much time he passed in this important strife,
The bliss or bane of his remaining life;
For converts all are made with care and grief,
And pangs attend the birth of unbelief;
Nor pass they soon;—with awe and fear he took
The flow'ry way, and cast back many a look.
The youths applauded much his wise design,
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With weighty reasoning o'er their evening wine;
And much in private 'twould their mirth improve,
To hear how Abel spake of life and love;
To hear him own what grievous pains it cost,
Ere the old saint was in the sinner lost;
Ere his poor mind with every deed alarm'd,
By wit was settled, and by vice was charm'd.
For Abel enter'd in his bold career,
Like boys on ice, with pleasure and with fear;
Lingering, yet longing for the joy, he went,
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Repenting now, now dreading to repent;
With awkward pace, and with himself at war,
Far gone, yet frighten'd that he went so far;
Oft for his efforts he'd solicit praise,
And then proceed with blunders and delays.
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The young more aptly passion's calls pursue,
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But age and weakness start at scenes so new,
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And tremble when they've done, for all they dared to do.
At length example Abel's dread removed;
With small concern he sought the joys he loved;
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Not resting here, he claim'd his share of fame,
And first their votary, then their wit became;
His jest was bitter and his satire bold,
When he his tales of formal brethren told,
What time with pious neighbours he discuss'd,
Their boasted treasure and their boundless trust:
"Such were our dreams," the jovial elder cried;
"Awake and live," his youthful friends replied.
Now the gay clerk a modest drab despised,
And clad him smartly as his friends advised;
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So fine a coat upon his back he threw,
That not an alley-boy old Abel knew;
Broad polish'd buttons blazed that coat upon,
And just beneath the watch's trinkets shone—
A splendid watch, that pointed out the time,
To fly from business and make free with crime.
The crimson waistcoat and the silken hose
Rank'd the lean man among the Borough beaux;
His raven hair he cropp'd with fierce disdain,
And light elastic locks encased his brain:
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More pliant pupil who could hope to find,
So deck'd in person and so changed in mind?
When Abel walk'd the streets, with pleasant mien
He met his friends, delighted to be seen;
And, when he rode along the public way,
No beau so gaudy and no youth so gay.
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His pious sister, now an ancient maid,
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For Abel fearing, first in secret pray'd;
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Then thus in love and scorn her notions she convey'd:
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"Alas! my brother! can I see thee pace
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Hoodwink'd to hell, and not lament thy case,
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Nor stretch my feeble hand to stop thy headlong race?
Lo! thou art bound; a slave in Satan's chain,
The righteous Abel turn'd the wretched Cain;
His brother's blood against the murderer cried;
Against thee thine, unhappy suicide!
Are all our pious nights and peaceful days,
Our evening readings and our morning praise,
Our spirits' comfort in the trials sent,
Our hearts' rejoicings in the blessings lent,
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All that o'er grief a cheering influence shed—
Are these for ever and for ever fled?
"When in the years gone by, the trying years,
When faith and hope had strife with wants and fears,
Thy nerves have trembled till thou couldst not eat
(Dress'd by this hand) thy mess of simple meat;
When, grieved by fastings, gall'd by fates severe,
Slow pass'd the days of the successless year;
Still in these gloomy hours, my brother then
Had glorious views, unseen by prosperous men:
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And when thy heart has felt its wish denied,
What gracious texts hast thou to grief applied;
Till thou hast enter'd in thine humble bed,
By lofty hopes and heavenly musings fed;
Then I have seen thy lively looks express
The spirit's comforts in the man's distress.
"Then didst thou cry, exulting, 'Yes, 'tis fit,
'Tis meet and right, my heart! that we submit;'
And wilt thou, Abel, thy new pleasures weigh
Against such triumphs?—Oh! repent and pray.
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"What are thy pleasures?—with the gay to sit,
And thy poor brain torment for awkward wit;
All thy good thoughts (thou hat'st them) to restrain,
And give a wicked pleasure to the vain;
Thy long lean frame by fashion to attire,
That lads may laugh and wantons may admire;
To raise the mirth of boys, and not to see,
Unhappy maniac! that they laugh at thee.
"These boyish follies, which alone the boy
Can idly act or gracefully enjoy,
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Add new reproaches to thy fallen state,
And make men scorn what they would only hate.
"What pains, my brother, dost thou take to prove
A taste for follies which thou canst not love!
Why do thy stiffening limbs the steed bestride—
That lads may laugh to see thou canst not ride?
And why (I feel the crimson tinge my cheek)
Dost thou by night in Diamond-Alley sneak?
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"Farewell! the parish will thy sister keep,
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Where she in peace shall pray and sing and sleep,
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Save when for thee she mourns, thou wicked, wandering sheep!
When youth is fall'n, there's hope the young may rise,
But fallen age for ever hopeless lies:
Torn up by storms and placed in earth once more,
The younger tree may sun and soil restore;
But when the old and sapless trunk lies low,
No care or soil can former life bestow;
Reserved for burning is the worthless tree;
And what, O Abel! is reserved for thee?"
These angry words our hero deeply felt,
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Though hard his heart, and indisposed to melt!
To gain relief he took a glass the more,
And, then went on as careless as before;
Thenceforth, uncheck'd, amusements he partook,
And (save his ledger) saw no decent book;
Him found the merchant punctual at his task,
And, that perform'd, he'd nothing more to ask;
He cared not how old Abel play'd the fool,
No master he, beyond the hours of school:
Thus they, proceeding, had their wine and joke,
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Till merchant Dixon felt a warning stroke,
And, after struggling half a gloomy week,
Left his poor clerk another friend to seek.
Alas! the son, who led the saint astray,
Forgot the man whose follies made him gay;
He cared no more for Abel in his need,
[Than] Abel cared about his hackney steed;
He now, alas! had all his earnings spent,
And thus was left to languish and repent;
No school nor clerkship found he in the place,
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Now lost to fortune, as before to grace.
For town-relief the grieving man applied,
And begg'd with tears what some with scorn denied;
Others look'd down upon the glowing vest,
And, frowning, ask'd him at what price he dress'd?
Happy for him his country's laws are mild,
They must support him, though they still reviled;
Grieved, abject, scorn'd, insulted, and betray'd,
Of God unmindful, and of man afraid—
No more he talk'd; 'twas pain, 'twas shame to speak,
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His heart was sinking and his frame was weak.
His sister died with such serene delight,
He once again began to think her right;
Poor like himself, the happy spinster lay,
And sweet assurance bless'd her dying-day;
Poor like the spinster, he, when death was nigh,
Assured of nothing, felt afraid to die.
The cheerful clerks who sometimes pass'd the door,
Just mention'd "Abel!" and then thought no more.
So Abel, pondering on his state forlorn,
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Look'd round for comfort, and was chased by scorn.
And now we saw him on the beach reclined,
Or causeless walking in the wint'ry wind;
And, when it raised a loud and angry sea,
He stood and gazed, in wretched reverie;
He heeded not the frost, the rain, the snow;
Close by the sea he walk'd alone and slow.
Sometimes his frame through many an hour he spread
Upon a tombstone, moveless as the dead;
And, was there found a sad and silent place,
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There would he creep with slow and measured pace.
Then would he wander by the river's side,
And fix his eyes upon the falling tide;
The deep dry ditch, the rushes in the fen,
And mossy crag-pits were his lodgings then:
There, to his discontented thoughts a prey,
The melancholy mortal pined away.
The neighb'ring poor at length began to speak
Of Abel's ramblings—he'd been gone a week,
They knew not where; and little care they took
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For one so friendless and so poor to look;
At last a stranger, in a pedler's shed,
Beheld him hanging—he had long been dead.
He left a paper, penn'd at sundry times,
Intitled thus—"My Groanings and my Crimes!"
"I was a christian man, and none could lay
Aught to my charge; I walk'd the narrow way:
All then was simple faith, serene and pure,
My hope was steadfast and my prospects sure;
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Then was I tried by want and sickness sore,
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But these I clapp'd my shield of faith before,
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And cares and wants and man's rebukes I bore.
Alas! new foes assail'd me; I was vain,
They stung my pride and they confused my brain:
Oh! these deluders! with what glee they saw
Their simple dupe transgress the righteous law;
'Twas joy to them to view that dreadful strife,
When faith and frailty warr'd for more than life;
So with their pleasures they beguiled the heart,
Then with their logic they allay'd the smart;
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They proved (so thought I then) with reasons strong,
That no man's feelings ever led him wrong;
And thus I went, as on the varnish'd ice,
The smooth career of unbelief and vice.
Oft would the youths, with sprightly speech and bold,
Their witty tales of naughty priests unfold;
''Twas all a craft,' they said, 'a cunning trade,
Not she the priests, but priests religion made:'
So I believed;"—No, Abel! to thy grief,
So thou relinquish'dst all that was belief;—
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"I grew as very flint, and when the rest
Laugh'd at devotion, I enjoy'd the jest;
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But this all vanish'd like the morning-dew,
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When unemploy'd, and poor again I grew;
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Yea! I was doubly poor, for I was wicked too.
"The mouse that trespass'd and the treasure stole,
Found his lean body fitted to the hole;
Till, having fatted, he was forced to stay,
And, fasting, starve his stolen bulk away.
Ah! worse for me—grown poor, I yet remain
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In sinful bonds, and pray and fast in vain.
"At length I thought: although these friends of sin
Have spread their net and caught their prey therein;
Though my hard heart could not for mercy call,
Because, though great my grief, my faith was small;
Yet, as the sick on skilful men rely,
The soul diseased may to a doctor fly.
"A famous one there was, whose skill had wrought
Cures past relief, and him the sinners sought;
Numbers there were denied by mire and filth,
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Whom he recover'd by his goodly tilth:—
'Come then,' I said, 'let me the man behold,
And tell my case;'—I saw him and I told.
"With trembling voice, 'Oh! reverend sir,' I said,
'I once believed, and I was then misled;
And now such doubts my sinful soul beset,
I dare not say that I'm a Christian yet;
Canst thou, good sir, by thy superior skill,
Inform my judgment and direct my will?
Ah! give thy cordial; let my soul have rest,
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And be the outward man alone distress'd;
For at my state I tremble.'—'Tremble more,'
Said the good man, 'and then rejoice therefore;
'Tis good to tremble; prospects then are fair,
When the lost soul is plunged in deep despair.
Once thou wert simply honest, just and pure,
Whole, as thou thought'st, and never wish'd a cure;
Now thou hast plunged in folly, shame, disgrace;
Now thou'rt an object meet for healing grace;
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No merit thine, no virtue, hope, belief;
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Nothing hast thou, but misery, sin, and grief,
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The best, the only titles to relief.'
"'What must I do,' I said, 'my soul to free?'
'—Do nothing, man; it will be done for thee.'
'But must I not, my reverend guide, believe?'
'—If thou art call'd, thou wilt the faith receive;'—
'But I repent not.'—Angry he replied,
'If thou art call'd, thou needest nought beside;
Attend on us, and if 'tis Heaven's decree,
The call will come—if not, ah! wo for thee.'
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"There then I waited, ever on the watch,
A spark of hope, a ray of light to catch;
His words fell softly like the flakes of snow,
But I could never find my heart o'erflow.
He cried aloud, till in the flock began
The sigh, the tear, as caught from man to man;
They wept and they rejoiced, and there was I,
Hard as a flint, and as the desert dry.
To me no tokens of the call would come,
I felt my sentence and received my doom;
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But I complain'd;—'Let thy repinings cease,
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Oh! man of sin, for they thy guilt increase;
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It bloweth where it listeth,—die in peace.'
—'In peace, and perish?' I replied; 'impart
Some better comfort to a burthen'd heart.'—
'Alas!' the priest return'd, 'can I direct
The heavenly call?—Do I proclaim th' elect?
Raise not thy voice against th' Eternal will,
But take thy part with sinners and be still[69].'
"Alas! for me, no more the times of peace
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Are mine on earth—in death my pains may cease.
"Foes to my soul! ye young seducers, know,
What serious ills from your amusements flow;
Opinions you with so much ease profess
O'erwhelm the simple and their minds oppress:
Let such be happy, nor with reasons strong,
That make them wretched, prove their notions wrong;
Let them proceed in that they deem the way,
Fast when they will, and at their pleasure pray.
Yes, I have pity for my brethren's lot;
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And so had Dives, but it help'd him not.
And is it thus?—I'm full of doubts:—Adieu!
Perhaps his reverence is mistaken too."
NOTE TO LETTER XXI.
[69] Note 1, page 489, line 308.
But take thy part with sinners and be still.
In a periodical work for the month of June last, the preceding dialogue is pronounced to be a most abominable caricature, if meant to be applied to Calvinists in general, and greatly distorted, if designed for an individual. Now, the author in his preface has declared, that he takes not upon him the censure of any sect or society for their opinions; and the lines themselves evidently point to an individual, whose sentiments they very fairly represent, without any distortion whatsoever. In a pamphlet entitled "A Cordial for a Sin-despairing Soul," originally written by a teacher of religion, and lately re-published by another teacher of greater notoriety, the reader is informed that after he had full assurance of his salvation, the Spirit entered particularly into the subject with him; and, among many other matters of like nature, assured him that "his sins were fully and freely forgiven, as if they had never been committed: not for any act done by him, whether believing in Christ, or repenting of sin; nor yet for the sorrows and miseries he endured, nor for any service he should be called upon in his militant state, but for his own name and for his glory's sake[70]," &c. And the whole drift and tenour of the book is to the same purpose, viz. the uselessness of all religious duties, such as prayer, contrition, fasting, and good works: he shows the evil done by reading such books as the Whole Duty of Man, and the Practice of Piety; and complains heavily of his relation, an Irish bishop, who wanted him to join with the household in family prayer: in fact, the whole work inculcates that sort of quietism which this dialogue alludes to, and that without any recommendation of attendance on the teachers of the Gospel, but rather holding forth encouragement to the supineness of man's nature; by the information that he in vain looks for acceptance by the employment of his talents, and that his hopes of glory are rather extinguished than raised by any application to the means of grace.
[70] Cordial, &c. page 87.