CAPTAIN GODFREY.
Musing, he said—“So rich, and so addressed,
What can I hope? be, foolish heart, at rest!
Here fate has brought me—now, suppose I write,
If but my Name, and leave it for her sight?”
That instant sank the moon, and Godfrey cried:
“So perish all my Views!” and deeply sighed;
Then, with heroic Motion striding far
And Voice of Valour—“Let us to the War!”
But, as he sighed, he heard approaching feet
Behind those trees so shady and so sweet; 10
Then, dimly seen, came on with Motion slow
That pair whose Hearts he most desired to know.
The Lady’s Accent he remembered well;
The Lover’s Name his Rival’s fears could spell.
He shrank, disordered, to his hiding place;
To be detected was for life disgrace.
The best, the wisest, method he could take
Was, undisguised, a safe retreat to make;
But some mix’d Motives, not defin’d with Ease,
Led [him] behind the Phalanx of the trees.— 20
But who will pardon to an act extend
So full of Fear, so doubtful in the End?—
Cautious he stood, this Hand upon the Sword
That on his Heart, and listened to each Word.
Yes, you are good, and have in this complied;
Be kinder yet, and now my Fate decide!
Thought I, that months, nay years, attending still
Could soften that dear Heart or lead that will,
Thro’ many an arduous Month and many a year
I would attend, adore, and persevere; 30
But thou, tho’ gentlest of the gentle Kind,
Hast with the frankest heart the firmest Mind;
Tho’ with that firmness true Compassion lives,
And thy Heart murmurs at the Grief it gives.
Then, when I view thee so unmov’d tho’ mild,
Gentle yet just, my Judgment is beguil’d.
Oh! could I see thee angry and, when teiz’d,
Mov’d to resent—now sooth’d, and now displeas’d—
I should have hope; for, as thy Anger rose,
The Grief it caused thy Pity would compose. 40
Could I a weakness in thy Heart discern,
Love there might enter and enjoy his turn;
But, tho’ I seek thee early, leave thee late, }
And all day long upon thy pleasure wait, }
I find thee firm as Truth and fixed as Fate. }
Yet, what forbids? my years beyond thy own }
Are few, nor these in peevish Manners shewn; }
My Title, fortune, friends and family are known. }
These are not much; but I have more than these;
Sure, love like mine and faithfulness might please. 50
Our Thoughts in all their Views appear to strike
On the same Chords, and we have tastes alike—
And shall we here alone the difference prove,
And there be no Similitude in Love?
“Would’st thou thy Sister call to Life, O take
My Heart instead and what shall please thee make!
If Time, Entreaty and thy friends, incline
That Heart to love, I could insure thee mine;
But, if that Heart have purpose fix’d and sure,
And I must Coldness tho’ not scorn endure; 60
If something tell thee, ‘Heed not Fancy’s tale
Nor let her Visions o’er my Truth prevail’;
If that dread something, call it what you will,
Oppose me strongly and oppose me still:
Be like thyself, be candid, and impart
Thyself the Tidings to a doubtful Heart;
If Bliss await him, make thy Lover blest;
If not, oh, give these doubts and Terrors rest!”
“It grieves me much,” replied the gentle Maid,
While Godfrey listened, of each Word afraid, 70
That I am urged those Motives to explain
Which safe Experience bids the Sex retain.
What would my Friend? hast thou a Right to see
The Heart’s fond folly, scarcely known to me?
Say, is it friendly, is it kind to trace }
The tender failings of an erring race, }
In whom the faintest Speck is held Disgrace? }
’Tis true I cannot with thy wish comply;
But is it right that I should tell thee why,
And to thy harder Sex make failings known 80
That I conceal with Caution from my own?
“Then [hear]—and know I own thee for a friend;
And my Confession thy Suspense shall end.
Know then, I cannot from my breast expel
A strong Impression fated there to dwell;
Time but confirms it, and the pain it brings
Proves that it lives, for it has life that stings.
Ere yet my Father knew this Load of Wealth,
And my lov’d Sisters shar’d my Views in Health,
A Youth addressed me—I prefer’d him then; 90
But I was warn’d of the Designs of Men.
His Views in Life were humble, he confest;
But this * * *, nor could it be suppress’d.
In him ’twas policy to win the Truth;
And then I fear’d the fickle Soul of Youth.
Yet, [though] rejected, he was ever near,
And uninvited—let me own it, dear!
My parents doubted; I was urged to prove
The Heart I valued, [ere] I own’d the love.
My Sister only was his friend; she knew— 100
So love persuades—that one so brave was true;
For he was brave and had in battle shown
That War and Danger had familiar grown.
An Hero’s favourite Nymph the poet sings,
But Heroes’ Widows are neglected Things.—
Thus, while Affection shone with Fear, an Hour
Arrived to prove his patience and my power.
For an offence so trifling, that one day
Had swept the memory of the Crime away,
In spleen, in spite, in folly I reprov’d 110
And banish’d from my Sight the Man I lov’d!
[His] purpos’d visit in the morn I knew,
And bore in mind my purpos’d pardon too.
‘’Tis a last trial,’ to my Heart I said;
‘When [he returns], thy Will shall be obey’d.’
Ah! my kind Friend, remember, in thy Woes,
No Self-reproach forbids thy Soul repose!
But I detain thee; would I had detain’d
The Man my Folly, but not solely, pain’d!
Ere that return a sudden order bore 120
My Godfrey hence, and he return’d no more.
Dear Suffering Youth, forgive me; I lament }
A Man to Misery by my Humour sent; }
Doomed to rude War, sore Wounds, and long Imprisonment! }
How has he curs’d the fickle Mind! how long
Brooded in Anguish o’er the causeless Wrong!
* * *—or now perhaps a foreign Grave
Holds one so dear, so tender and so brave!
Nay, give thy Pardon; did’st thou not implore
The frank Confession? I will add no more. 130
Choose thou a virgin Heart, nor now behold
This face of Calmness with a bosom cold—
Cold to new Love and, while my Life shall last,
Hopeless of Joy and dwelling in the past!
Tho’ he returns not, justice bids me fly
Thy prayer; thy Hand ’tis Honour to deny;
And oh! if yet I might my Visions trust,
And he returns, Love, tell me to be just!”