MONUMENTAL GALL.
There are some men who, when they are caught once, like burned children ever after dread the fire. Others there are who have such overweening confidence in their own smartness that their lives are nothing but a series of losses. Canada Bill and myself were nearing Magnolia, about a hundred miles above New Orleans, when Bill opened up his three cards. It was not long before a crowd gathered about to witness the sport. One large man in particular watched the play as a hawk does a chicken. This I was not slow to perceive; so turning to Bill, I said, "What'll you bet I can't turn the baby?"
"$1,000 that no man can turn it."
I pulled out a roll that looked like $1,000, though it was not; for we had been playing bank, and were nearly busted.
Bill won, and I lost. Then he said, in his screechy voice, "By golly! you see I've got two cards to your one, and can win every time."
The big fellow was getting terribly worked up, for he knew that the corner of the baby card was turned up. Then he commenced getting out his money, and I was soon by his side.
"Can you guess it?" I innocently asked. "If you can, tell me, so
I can get even."
But he was too selfish, and proposed to win it all. He offered to bet $100, but Bill wouldn't have anything but a thousand-dollar bet. Up went the money quicker than you could say Jack Robinson.
The result is easily foreshadowed. The man turned up the wrong card. He made a grab, however, for the money, but I was in a second between him and the stuff, so that Bill got there first.
"There's going to be trouble, Bill," I whispered. "Get off."
He lost no time in obeying. The train was just leaving the station. The fat man followed, and chased Bill around the car. Bill jumped back; so did the fat man. Then Bill slid off again, but the fat man was at his heels. This could not last long. Bill's slim build helped him in the emergency, and again he caught the train. The fat man was unable to, but the conductor backed the cars and took him aboard.
"Where is the tramp cowboy that robbed me?" he excitedly demanded.
"He jumped off as you got on."
"I wouldn't mind the loss of the money," he said, "but the idea of being swindled out of it by such a cowboy looking kind of tramp breaks me all up."
Where was Bill? In the sleeper was a smooth-faced young man who had taken off a cowboy suit of clothes, put on a bran new suit of black broadcloth, gold eye-glasses, clean-shaved face. This preacher- looking fellow soon came into the car where the big man and myself were talking over the loss, and sat down near us. I was busy pumping the sucker to see if he had any more money.
"Why, anybody can play that game," he said, and of course I remarked: "The dealer though has every advantage, as he has two cards to your one. If I had some cards, I would show you how it is done."
That was enough for the preacher-looking man, and, slipping back into the sleeper, he procured some cards and dropped them down into one of the seats near me. I saw them and picked them up, observing, "I believe these are the same cards."
The sucker looked at them and declared that he believed they were.
I began playing the cards, but the fat fellow said, "You are pretty good, but you can't handle them like the cowboy did."
"It wants practice," I said.
I practiced on, when up stepped the preacher-looking, gold-glassed individual, saying: "I'll bet you a dollar I can guess the card."
"Oh, I don't want to bet with any boy preacher," I said.
"I'm no boy preacher. I'm studying to become a priest."
"You'd better keep that dollar; that's my advice."
I was only waiting for Bill to put a mark on the card, which he soon did while I went back to get a drink. As I came back they all began to laugh at me, and the big fellow said, "Any fool could tell the card the way you throw them."
Then I pretended to get mad; so I offered to bet $2,000 that no man could turn the right card.
The priest spoke up, "I'll bet you $200 in gold that I can do it."
"Put it up," I said.
This made the sucker crazy, for he was so anxious to get even that he pulled out and counted down $860. But I would not bet less than $1,000. There was a little man standing near who offered to loan him the $140 to make up the $1,000, when Bill turned and said, "I'll bet you $500 that my friend, the big man, wins."
Talk about monumental gall; I thought then that calling the fat man his friend, who a few moments before had been chasing him around, ready to kill him, was about the grandest specimen of sublime impudence that I ever saw.
The big fellow turned the card, and lost as usual, and the little man looked at me, then at the fat man, as much as to say, you two rascals are partners. He took the priest aside, who was no other than Canada Bill, and assured him that he was positive of this fact. I won the money, and there was no kick.